my pathetic husband

[Mirch]

Re: my pathetic husband

@Murgi

Who cares why her husband started taking drugs. The real question is what is he doing now about it. And the answer is nothing, even though he knows that he has a wife, a child and another one on the way.

OP you’re taking the right step IMO. You have tried your best but now you have to take care of your children. Children pick up on things very fast, and if they see a drugged up father, that is worse than not having a father in the picture. A drug addled mind is not a mind at all. Leave him now before you will not be able to at all.

You also need support. I am sure there are many support groups for spouses of drug habituators. A quick search online for the region you live in, or even the newspaper will show you those support groups. You probably can do everything physically by yourself, but you need the emotional support and these support groups provide it. I am sure no one in your community would be very supportive of your situation and you will hear so many things that would make you possibly reconsider your decision if not change it, but you have to be careful not to listen to them. That’s why I suggested looking up the support groups.

As for the husband going into rehab…no matter how many times a person goes into rehab, until and unless they recognize themselves, truly, that they have a problem, rehab will not work on them. Addiction is a disease. It’s not a habit. It’s not a situation. It’s a mental disease. But as with all mental diseases if you can’t accept you have one, it will not work on you. If the OP’s husband isn’t too keen on kicking his habit, she can take him kicking and screaming to the rehab, he can stay there like a good little acha bacha but he will go right back to snorting cocaine the next chance he gets.

People may tell you that you’re doing the wrong thing, that you should be there for your husband, you should support him, blah blah. But the truth of the matter is, he needs professional help. He needs to seek it out himself or at least have someone who has influence over him to do it. You unfortunately don’t, and that’s his decision. Not yours, you are not to be blamed. But you have children to consider which are a lot more important.

If you are a professional who deals with addicts then your views are worth considering or if you have dealt with someone who did not mend their ways then your advice holds some merits , otherwise let professional or the op deal with her husband , it is not as simple as you are making it sound. There is a lot at stake and there is a lot here to deal with , all avenues have to be tried before he is kicked out and a separation is considered. He is a good provider and a good father and a good husband as per a previous post of OP and he is not a gone case as yet as far as his addiction goes.

For reference check this started by OP a little while ago:
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-and-relationships/505754-caught-my-husband-red-handed.html