Re: My Parents aren't doing anything.....
Thanks everyone's for your replies….
MasoomSiLarki: Firstly thanks for taking the time out to help me…much appreciated.
I know I may not have shown it in my posts but I do love my parents very very much and I am very close to them and spend a lot of time with them. But I feel that there comes a time when a person (no matter how much they love their parents) needs to move on with their lives.
I don't think the future in laws are influencing me as I have no private contact with them at all. I only see them/speak to them when they come to my house in front of my family. They totally support my parents…if it was up to them we would've been married ages ago but they understand my parents worries and therefore are willing to wait for however long it takes for my parents to be ready.
I have a very good job but I don't give any money to my parents as both my dad and brother work. So I've been saving my money which has allowed me to buy the house and now I am paying my mortgage which is over a £1000 a month. I have told my parents that if we have a small wedding like in a marquee or something (which I would really like) then I will pay for everything myself. But if my parents desperately want a big wedding then I can't afford to pay for it all but I will certainly contribute towards it.
My brother is also willing to contribute to the wedding and says to my parents to get on with it all the time too. He also doesn't want me to be seen with a guy outside.
As for older people speaking to my parents about this well…every time my mum steps out of the house people say to her "when are you getting your daughter married she's 26 isn't she???"…this includes neighbours, friends, uncles, aunts and even my nanny. But my mum doesn't care about what they say! She says
"jo aram ek beti ko apni maa ke ghaar milskata hein wo kisi doosre ghaar mein kabhi nahi milsakta" basically to enjoy life before marriage because life after marriage is too difficult. She says life after marriage is too hard…I won't be able to cope…I need to improve cooking, cleaning, sewing skills blah blah blah! She is right I may not be master chief but I know I can manage!!!
As I was growing up my mum always said that I would never be able to live with in-laws as I'm too sensitive, can't take criticism, take too long in the shower, you name it she said it all…. so I even brought my own house because of this!
MasoomSiLarki: you said stop seeing your bf until nikah but when I first met him three years ago I said to him I can't see you until my dad meets you and until we have our nikah and he agreed with me…so we stopped seeing each other for a while but how can I not see him for three years? Also say we agree to stop seeing each other again... will we wait again for another three years? so I can't stop until I know when the nikah will be.