Each and everyone you mentioned here are responsible.
In most families, there are fights and always there is fault on both the sides. It is hard for everyone to see their own shortcomings but easy to see others. Regardless of what university professors like you to believe, male and female brain does not see things in the same light, hence there will always be differences based on perception. Whatever, your mother tells your father, it is impossible for him to digest it as it is.
I have heated discussions with my better half at times because she wants me to see and interpret things like she does. I simply do not see the things the way she does. I am a firm believer that all this has to do a lot with our instincts.