Ok, so I need some help. I am planning on intervening today. The two had yet another fight again, and it is becoming so annoying. I come home for one friggin weekend and I’m going back out on Monday, so I don’t particularly like to spend my precious few moments with my parents seeing them angry at each other.
I’ve never seen my mom like this. She’s literally crying and extremely upset. I called my dad to drive me to the mall (as I have too many driving tickets :halo: ), and so I’m going to have a chat with him.
I don’t know. I feel like it’s not my place to scold my dad and tell him - look you can’t talk like that with your wife…
If you are eldest and you know this is happening then I believe you should not necessarily scold your dad but talk to him about this issue and how it effects you. It might help.
Its hard to break old habits . It might only be a temporary solution for couple of days . For a better solution take one of them with you and let them miss each other for sometime . :)
Come on now, don't hate your dad. Not too long ago you had posted that your mom's nagging and backbiting about her in-laws gets on your and your dad's nerves. You had also said that your dad is very romantic toward your mum. He has his positive points. Since you don't live with them, you're not around to see both sides of their spats. It takes two people to make (or even break) a relationship. No doubt that it's frustrating, but try to stay neutral, and TALK to your dad as opposed to playing the blame game. Find out his side of the story, encourage him to compromise and show tolerance, and talk to your mom as well if you can. It's hardly fair for only one party to do all the compromising. Regardless of how difficult the other person might be, they have to do their part as well.
I think you will find this kind of behaviour is common. Talk to your dad if it makes you feel better and just tell him how it affects not to just your parents but you too.
the following is not going to be helpful advice... so, sorry in advance.
imo, it's very difficult to make adults see sense when they choose to behave like babies. I deal with it by not dealing with it. I have a lot of difficulty communicating with ppl when they behave irrationally. but I do make a mental note to remember that situation and never behave in the same manner myself when I am in that situation.
the biggest blessing in the world for kids - regardless of age - is parents whore happy with each other. but I dont think most parents realize that. anyway...
PCG honey things is its you family its there. You can change nothing about it.
U need to keep working on it. Add it in your daily routine,
like
Shower--- check
Break fast ----- check
Tuning patents--- check
Fix there issue for them.. make them talk about each other to U
And absorb bad things.. pass on good ones.
Get used to it...
honey thing is ...this one thing(working on family) you will never regreat. You will get happy
moments more often.
PCG, I think its unfair of to have negative views about all men just because you seem to disagree with your dad's behavior. Having said that I think you have every right to question your mom and dad about their latest disagreement and try to mend the situation. The last fight my parents had was a few years ago and only because my dad said something stupid. Naturally mom got pissed and a huge fight broke out where my mom started crying. I've seen my mother cry because of me but not because of dad. Eventually I have to carry my dad in my arms and forced him to joke with mom, which turned out to be the right thing to do. Because few minutes later they were both laughing again. Point being, children have just as much of a right on their parents as parents have over their offspring.
Situation between your parents might be deteriorating caused by your father's actions, at least thats the way you made it sound, but generally speaking women are capable of bad things too. I hope you change your attitude towards men.
PCG, you are getting a rare opportunity to understand men. Don’t miss it. Talk to you father and understand his point of view. If you don’t see him cry, it does not mean that he is not hurt.
Tears can hide the mountain of mistakes/faults. Someone crying does not mean he/she cant be at fault. Dont pre-judge people. Talk to your dad and see how things can be fixed.
There are times when we need to behave like the parents would have behaved.
Definitely get involved but in a non-condescending way.
Have the talk with Dad and tell him that it hurts you to see them fighting.
Tell them that the opportunities for you to spend time with them are fewer and far between and you would like to make sure that they are productive and generate fond, lasting memories instead of a distaste for the “Pakistani Male”.
I am sorry to hear that PCG, but no where in your post its apparent that it was your dad's fault that fight happened. Why is that you need to talk to him only? Could it be that your mom change something that would reduce the frequency of the fights?
I don't want to divulge details of the fight because you never know who knows you in real life and is reading your comments. I don't mind my life being an open book here but will probably spare my dad the shame of the crap that has come out of his mouth.
I don't want to divulge details of the fight because you never know who knows you in real life and is reading your comments. I don't mind my life being an open book here but will probably spare my dad the shame of the crap that has come out of his mouth.
I was not asking for details. I am just saying that be unbiased when trying to resovle an issue between two people. If you start with 'I hate men' attitude, you will always find your dad to be at fault.
The crap that has come out of his mouth was a reaction, an effect. You need to resolve the cause that starts the fights, not the effect.
A man isn't responsible for the crap that comes out of his mouth? Then my mom isn't responsible for the crap that came out of her mouth because that too was a reaction to my cheap chaachi.
