It looks like you want everything delivered on a platter. You are not open with your cousing - just dropping hnts. Your boyfriend is ready to fight for you, but you dont want to piss off your father. Your father gives an immature threat and you fall for it. Your boyfriends parents wont consider you as their daughter-in-law and you wont consider marrying your boyfriend till parents from both sides are ready to accept your marriage - which you have clearly stated wont happen.
Life is about tough choices sometimes. If you and bf are sure this is not puppy love, wait till one or both of you is financially secure/independent, and then make your decision as adults. Now both of you are kids - not ready to give up something to get something.