Welcome everyone its been a while…tonight i had a frank conversation with a good friend of mine…shes a revert who was quite religious for a while but all of a sudden fell off…being a revert that fell off aswell we became decent friends…today though i got a surprise…she asked me how my chica situtations were and i told her…i asked her the same and today she felt like opening up…
I always thought she was just frigid but she revelaed to me that she liked girls and that she was struggling a hell of a lot to reconcile her feelings with her faith…something happened between her and another muslim girl and the other girl refuses to talk to her now…
I’v known and been friends with gay people before but its the first time iv had a muslim tell me they swing the other way…i advised her the best i could and made her aware that her feelings didnt make her any less of a Muslim and she shouldnt avoid Allah because she feels ashamed of her feelings…your not sinful for the feeling but how you follow it up…heres the thing though its eating her up inside…now if shes a girl that sins with women is she any worse than those of us who sin with the opposite sex?..
Im her friend so i want to support her but other than telling her her feelings are a test and she is going to have a lifetime of regressing her feelings i dont know what else to tell her…part of me feels she should accept who she is but then thats her lifetime of sin…atleast us straight sinners stop sinning once we get married hopefully…
Its easy to be judgemental of gay Muslims and say that that is nasty and all but its different when your confronted by a friend who is…anyone care to offer advice?..
Welcome everyone its been a while...tonight i had a frank conversation with a good friend of mine...shes a revert who was quite religious for a while but all of a sudden fell off...being a revert that fell off aswell we became decent friends...today though i got a surprise...she asked me how my chica situtations were and i told her...i asked her the same and today she felt like opening up...
I always thought she was just frigid but she revelaed to me that she liked girls and that she was struggling a hell of a lot to reconcile her feelings with her faith...something happened between her and another muslim girl and the other girl refuses to talk to her now...
I'v known and been friends with gay people before but its the first time iv had a muslim tell me they swing the other way...i advised her the best i could and made her aware that her feelings didnt make her any less of a Muslim and she shouldnt avoid Allah because she feels ashamed of her feelings...your not sinful for the feeling but how you follow it up...heres the thing though its eating her up inside...now if shes a girl that sins with women is she any worse than those of us who sin with the opposite sex?...
Im her friend so i want to support her but other than telling her her feelings are a test and she is going to have a lifetime of regressing her feelings i dont know what else to tell her...part of me feels she should accept who she is but then thats her lifetime of sin...atleast us straight sinners stop sinning once we get married hopefully...
Its easy to be judgemental of gay Muslims and say that that is nasty and all but its different when your confronted by a friend who is...anyone care to offer advice?...
It's a difficult thing. On one hand...it is a huge sin (Um i believe it is) BUT that person will face their own grave and we can't do anything about it.... But at the same time, I don't think that someone who lives their life quietly is as harmful as someone who say makes a huge deal about it, and would try to use Islam or change the system to justify their lifestyle. I don't believe that it is an alternative lifestyle, I think it's totally wrong, and if someone were to be bringing their boyfriend/girlfriend around the masjid and say "oh yeah , this is my life partner"....that's not right. Um...yeah..
It's a difficult thing. On one hand...it is a huge sin (Um i believe it is) BUT that person will face their own grave and we can't do anything about it.... But at the same time, I don't think that someone who lives their life quietly is as harmful as someone who say makes a huge deal about it, and would try to use Islam or change the system to justify their lifestyle. I don't believe that it is an alternative lifestyle, I think it's totally wrong, and if someone were to be bringing their boyfriend/girlfriend around the masjid and say "oh yeah , this is my life partner"....that's not right. Um...yeah..
yes it is...Prophet Lot AS nation...now *dead sea *
ps. just google Lot in and you well see what will happen to those who involve and who encourage such action!
its not the person you're supposed to hate, but their actions. like nbn said, if she follows up, then she's in trouble, but perhaps with more prayer and reflection she'll realise its not a good idea? maybe tell her this is a test from God? it sounds hollow when someone is obviously struggling through things, but what else can you say?
then again, if being gay is something by nature and not nurture, then how do you deny your own nature? tough place to be in... you have my sympathies.
Unfortunetly its happening alot in Pakistan.. i found one of my friend being involved in a girl who was lesibian already.. n my friend turned into lesbian afterwards though she was normal before n had a BF whom she loved alot.. she left his BF coz of her.. i tried alot to make her understand that she is wrong.. i tried to convice her that the girl she is involved in is not good n that she is just using u.. n all the stuff.. but she didnt understand..
so i had to leave her.. there was no option left.. i worked hard to bring my frriend back but all in vain,,
I love it when people say "now its happening alot" when they have one experience. I mean I used to do it to, until I asked myself, is it really happening alot more, or was i never used to it and am allowing one experience change my life?
Statistics is a mathematical science bourne to discover whether or not it really is happening alot. I think it isnt. Its increasing but it is still the most miniscule of things in regards to the greater population; not rampant.
Aaana...
Just curious if your best friend told you they were homosexual and they felt terrible for it would you as a friend not show them the support they need...
Its not that clearcut is it really...i used to work with a staunch catholic boy who was gay and he hated who he was but he accepted who he was...can you honestly hate them because of the way they feel?...its not something they control is it?...
Somegroovychick...
Shes not ignorant...she knows the deal...its just she feels a natural guilt for feeling the way she does even though its not her fault...i told her the test thing buts its a tough one isnt it...at the end of the day when your straight your instincts can be fulfilled eventually through Islamic means and even then we struggle not to fornicate...imagine being told you have to be celibate or to get married to a man when you have no attraction for them...either way she ends up extremely unhappy...
Zobia...
Just to clarify im not suggesting that the lifestyle is ok...i believe Islamically in a state its punishable by death...the discussion is more about how the girl feels...shes aware that its haraam and that is why she hates herself for how she feels...
Well u are allowed ure opinions, but NBN is asking 4 help on what to do,
TO NBN- this is a pretty tough situation 4 u. I myslef wud realy b stuck on what to say. Homosexuality is a sinin Islam, as it is in christianity and judaism, we can;t deny that but at the same time she is ure friend, so cant reallt turn round and say to her ure a big sinner u better stop now. IT’s gud that she realizes that what she is doing is wrong, i would mayb just suggest that you subtly reinforce this to her, and tell her to mayb take sum tim eoff an get away 4 a bit to clear her head up abit, and sort out her emotions.
Aside that i wudn;t mention the whole test thing i dont it will help her in anyway whatso ever.
I Know its an awkeard situation, but try ure best to b there for ure friend and help her
sorry iknw mayb not the best of advice, but its wht i think i wud do i that situation
Well no matter what you say or do to help the other person, it's solely their OWN realization that will make them choose the right path. This is not an addiction or obsession where you can lecture them or send them off to some group that will help them. This is purely based on self realization. This is one of the biggest gunnah one can commit and it's only upto her to see how much imaan she has. You may give them as many advices as you wish but in the end, it's whether they are even listening to you or not. If she really wants to realize that it's a sin and she should stop being this way then she has to make efforts on her own part. She needs to ask Allah swt for forgiveness and to lead her on the right path. Noone and I repeat noone can help you more than the Almight himself. Alot of people just use 'oh this is how I am born so God will understand' to wiggle their ways out of complex situations like these. No, that is not acceptable in Islam and the sooner she comes to terms with this fact, the better it is. It is all over the Quran about how much azaab these kind of people will have upon themselves. Is that not enough for her to snap out and try to make changes? I don't get why people need more proof to realize that this is strictly haraam. Noone wants to pick up the Quran or to try to read and understand it, instead, if someone else who knows tell them something, all they can say back is, PROVE it to me. I don't think anyone is born this way, I agree with Aaana. People choose to be like that.
I think its a dead end. NBN, i agree its a sin that should be hated, and not the sinner, yet, its the practitioner that keeps up and puts the practice into fashion, right? Being homo, is abnormal and sick, more than a sin. Even if its not a sin, it should be cured, for a healthy and normal life. Dont compare it with adultry since there has been no nation, (NOT as far as i know)that was doomed for adultry. Please correct me if im wrong. Your friend needs counselling and guidance. Guide her, and help her back to normal life.
Aaana...
Just curious if your best friend told you they were homosexual and they felt terrible for it would you as a friend not show them the support they need...
I would ask my fried"do you vomit or some thing when you have sex with opposite sex??"
If she says no then I would tell her to keep living normal life.(normal like non-western normal, or like 30 year ago western normal )
Hi NBN, welcome back. I am not sure what you are trying to ask here. I couldn't clearly figure out from your narration and query, but it appears your focus is to get here away from homosexuality, but not necessarily from pre/extra-marital sex.
If that is your sole focus, I would say let her be how she is happy.
