Re: My Husband Checks Out Women So Much, Plz help me!!!
Peace
I've been following a few exchanges above and see there is a big issue at hand. Firstly what the OP's husband is doing is not right, but the fact may be that the husband doesn't realise this.
Point 1) Some people do not realise the effect of some actions that they make become habitual and then become second nature and then desensitisation occurs and then the change happens. The change is when what they seek no longer fulfils them they go elsewhere.
The symptom of looking at every female that moves is the symptom of a desire that is uncontrolled. Desire or the irascible self needs to be tamed by the centre of wisdom and this needs to be a disciplinary process to correct that sickness. What GOGO said earlier is correct to get someone aligned and started but then forgetfulness kicks in ...
Environment, company, TV programmes, are all to blame - but nothing will resolve itself until the person himself "controls his own thoughts"
Each time our hearts become poisoned like alcohol it will go out to seek the next hit ... In fact many rapists and I'm not making any accusations here start off life as voyeurs and slowly try to get closer and closer. There is an old man at work and his youth must have been spent without controlling himself because now his favourite hobby is sitting on his balcony and looking at people (females) through his binoculars.
He needs to be told to lower his gaze ... And what the OP needs to say is simply that ... lower your gaze please ... each time she sees him ... for her to stay quiet is the worst thing for him. She doesn't need to shout just say it politely - Allah (SWT) tells us in the Qur'an to lower our gaze.
....
Next thing was about hoor issue raised by maryam23 ...
... Has it been considered that possibly the hoor for a man will please his wife in Jannah ... to see him happy in paradise will for her be like a blessing and to see her happy will be a blessing for him ... We underestimate Jannah ... Simply to see our companions happy will probably be like being in a state of euphoria in this world. We can't imagine them to be engaging in sex like it is done in this world - if there is a union it will most likely be a strange thing to our understanding. A thing pure and without any evil attached.
To compare lets imagine a pure thing ... say the happiness of seeing our exam marks when we passed ... surely the wife will take pleasure in seeing her husband pass his exams ... so will be the case in a pure environment in Jannah ...
