My first ghazal "anjaany zakhm"

Arts & Culture Poetry ( Intikhaab & Sho'ra-e-Gupshup)
1

abb ki baar ronay kay nai bahaany milay
mata’a-haai ishq, kuch khat purany milay

mahfil-e-shab ka kuch bhi nishaan naan mila
atraaf-e-shamma faqt jaly hovay chand parwany milay

sanamKhana-e-dil main abhi tak hain qaa’im kuch butt
aur ibaadat main gum chand deewany milay

jab kay socha kay nahin sahy jaiN gey sitam aur
dast-e-maseeha say kuch zakham anjaany milay

nairangi-e-taba’a-e-raqeeb ka buraa ho, kay usay
namak pashi-e-zakham-e-dil ko chand gaany milay

sharaab-e-gham-e-ishq hai, saaqi ki zaroorat hai kisay?
gosha-e-dil main lab ba lab ye paimaany milay

ye meri pehli ghazal hai… so ur praise and criticism are both welcomed.
if you see anything that needs improvement, just shout it out.

2

Re: My first ghazal “anjaany zakhm”

chacha_Ghalib, be’had achi kaavish hey :k: Keep it up :slight_smile:

3

Re: My first ghazal "anjaany zakhm"

very nice indeed chacha gi
tu app ne meri baat maan he li

4

Re: My first ghazal "anjaany zakhm"

jab kay socha kay nahin sahy jaiN gey sitam aur
dast-e-maseeha say kuch zakham anjaany milayjab kay socha kay nahin sahy jaiN gey sitam aur
dast-e-maseeha say kuch zakham anjaany milay

very nice keep it up :)

5

Re: My first ghazal “anjaany zakhm”

hain konsi baat :konfused:

thanx everyone.

6

Re: My first ghazal “anjaany zakhm”

poetry shuru karne ki lagta hai app ne meri post parhi nahi

7

Re: My first ghazal "anjaany zakhm"

app bi shayari karte hain:)

8

Re: My first ghazal “anjaany zakhm”

konsi thread main thi…agar parhi bhi thi to bhool gaya :bummer:

9

Re: My first ghazal "anjaany zakhm"

Chachaa Jee.... Apki apni hay.... chachi jee phir 'russ' gayee hain kia?

10

Re: My first ghazal “anjaany zakhm”

ab chachi ko kaun manai ga:confused:

HELP ME!
11

Re: My first ghazal "anjaany zakhm"

ji bilkul apni hai :)
kal raat 12 bajy dimagh main fatoor aya to likh daali...

aik aur bhi hai... aadhi likhi hai...

aap to kaafi arsay say likhti hain... kuch raai dijyeey... koi khaami, koi kammi?

12

Re: My first ghazal “anjaany zakhm”

Idher tu bari sharafat say baat ker ray hain… kal cafe main chachii ko narazz kernay ki khushi main itti phuljariyaaN kyo choar rahay thay… typical mashriqi merd…:naraz:

Anyways as far as the poetry goes, I don’t have the correct knowledge of the frameworks for urdu poetry… ju dil main aata hay likh daiti hooN… aam sa, average sa…

Raye mangni hay tu Amal, Zamil ya Derwesh say Mangain… They know more about the technical stuff behind urdu poetry…

13

Re: My first ghazal “anjaany zakhm”

aji aap to lagtaa hai kal waali batain dil par lai gain :clown:
hum to mazaak farmaa rahy thy… aur kal sharafat bazaar gaya hova tha :smiley:

the second ghazal is ready and about to be posted as well :slight_smile:

14

Re: My first ghazal "anjaany zakhm"

bahut muta'waazin 'tuk bandi' hai janaab :)

alfaaz kaa chuaano bhee khoob hai garchaY murakkab alfaaz kaY jaa bajaa iste'maaL naY uss zamaanaY kaY Ghalib kee yaad taazah karaa dee jub takhallus Asadaullah KhaN huaa kartaa thaa :D

yeh murrakkab taraakeeb-e-alfaaz phatima1 ko dikhaaiye gaa... mazaa na aaye tau paisaY waapis :D

15

Re: My first ghazal "anjaany zakhm"

^ aji sahib... pehli ghazal thi... of course 'tuk bandi' ho gi. Hum par aap ki tarhaa ilhaam nahin hota shaeiri ka so tuk bandi say kaam chalana partaa hai.

isi liye to aap jaisy mahir shua'raa ki araa maangi thin... jahan kahin koi jhool nazar aai.. khul kay bataen.. nawazish ho gi aur agli dafa main aap ki raai zehn main rakh kar koshish karon ga.

16

Re: My first ghazal "anjaany zakhm"

EXCELLENT soch but it needs a lil correction....like...atraaf-e-shama faqt chand jaley huey parwaney miley
jab yeh socha kay sahy jaiN gey na sitam aur
dast-e-maseeha say kuch zakham anjaany milay

sorry dun mind but i corrected wot i felt.

17

Re: My first ghazal "anjaany zakhm"

no problem...
pehli koshish thi... isi liye to aap logon say poocha tha kay koi ghalti koi jhool nazar aai to zaroor batain.

shukriya.

18

Re: My first ghazal “anjaany zakhm”

BohAat khoob CG keep writing man u vl be gr8 poet :k:

19

Re: My first ghazal “anjaany zakhm”

thanx dude :slight_smile:

20

Re: My first ghazal "anjaany zakhm"

Chacha jee ronay ki baat na karain Meer sahib lagtain hain. Waisay poetry achi hai nahi bohat hi achi hai

Dania & Rabika are back *hula*