**well he is almost of my age(24) and is very kind and sweet to me..but the problem is that i feel he is not a strong person in the sense he cant handle his problems well…all the time he discusses his problems with me, i get hyper and kinda scold him that y cant u solve ur problems urself…now the situation is that i have refused listening to his problems and i have asked him not to share it with me…my relation with him is getting worse though he is very loving and dont wana leave me in any case…but am fed up and dun want to continue the relation but itz not that easy to end it all…
u guys plz tell me that what should i do??i wana ask the girls here that am i being abnormal or wat??i dun find a strong guy in him in the sense that he always shares his problems(each and every) with me and asks me that what should he do…
me myself is not a very strong girl,and i always idealized my life partner to be strong and who could give me security…though my fiance is extraordinarily loving to me ,and by nature he is a very sweet person but what should i do when this thing is frustrating me aloooot…plz help me out:teary1:**
Welcome to cultural indoctrination. I for one have no sympathy for you. A guy is a human being after all. He needs someone to talk to and wants to get input on his views and ideas and problems. That is what you call a solid relationship. When both treat each other with respect and equality. Problem is that you aren't doing it. He is.
I bet when you find a strong guy who would never consult you on his issues and on his problems you will find him closed off and insensitive.
Your job is to listen to him, provide your input and let him decide what he wants to do. Your problem is that you are not doing so. Now mind you if he is a whiney man child who whines about everything and never takes a stand, then yes you are right.
if he had been very strong and independent,he wouldnt have been extraordinarily nice and loving to u..so itz just that u dun get everything in a plate :).. stick to him,he is a nice guy..
Well its very ironic sweetdoll
i am not being sarcastic but it seems you also can't solve your own problems thats why you are putting it here on gs forum. again i am not being sarcastic just giving my opinion.
You should be happy he discusses it with you because most men keep everything inside and they vent it with others (women) or other way. So instead of talking ot him you are ignoring him which is not a good gesture.
I know i have put it very simplisticly but typing is very hard :) and i am hungry.
very rarely do guys discuss problems, so for him to actually discuss with you means that he trusts you, and confides in you. You should stick to him and be by his side. Wouldn't you want to share your problems with somebody as well? How would you feel if the person says I'm fed up and can't handle your problems anymore?
I was with someone for 2 years, and I tried to get him to tell me his problems, but he never would, he said he'd solve them himself, and that bugged me so much cuz I felt like 1. I didn't know if something was bugging him or causing him stress. 2. I didn't understand his sudden mood swings 3. I felt like I couldn't be there to help, support him in times of distress.
the fact that he shares his problems with you shows you how much he trusts you and how much he relies on you..i mean my boyfriend never used to share his problems with me coz he said he didnt want to worry me..bt i had a word with him and after that he shares everything with me!
i mean us girls alwayz need som1 2 talk to and at times the guys do 2..let him open up 2u x
thats the problem na..i get upset wenever he shared his problems with me...i dun want to remain worried all the time now and after marriage...i mean i havent seen husbands who always keep telling their wives all the problems..itz so depressing:@
thats the problem na..i get upset wenever he shared his problems with me...i dun want to remain worried all the time now and after marriage...i mean i havent seen husbands who always keep telling their wives all the problems..itz so depressing:@
lolz
what do you mean by: you haven't seen husbands sharing problems with their wifes all the time.
how would u know that? i mean u think husband will tell you before telling the problems to their wifes?
Oh come on you husbands do share problems with their wifes i know most of them don't but many of them still do that. But again i fail to understand why you get upset and depressed instead of SOLVING his problems????
I am not saying that its a good habbit because a man should be strong and supportive of his wife because (for obvious reasons) women want their MAN to be strong and supportive at all times. But this is one of his weaknesses maybe just like you may have some weaknesses HE won't like what if HE does not like one of ur habbits (phoning ur friends for hourse, talking on gs or going for shopping or putting so much make up........etc) then ????? I mean love each other.
what do you mean by: you haven't seen husbands sharing problems with their wifes all the time.
how would u know that? i mean u think husband will tell you before telling the problems to their wifes?
Oh come on you husbands do share problems with their wifes i know most of them don't but many of them still do that. But again i fail to understand why you get upset and depressed instead of SOLVING his problems????
i feel that he is not strong enuff to handle the situation himself and he is asking me 4 sympathies and i feel so bad about it...though i always wanted a guy who is strong enuff to solve my problems watever they are,rather than telling his own to me all the time
i feel that he is not strong enuff to handle the situation himself and he is asking me 4 sympathies and i feel so bad about it...though i always wanted a guy who is strong enuff to solve my problems watever they are,rather than telling his own to me all the time
Listen you did nothing wrong and i know most women (wifes) want their hubby to be strong and supporting most of the time BUT to give u an example my uncle is so unsecure he even asks advice from his wife when goes to market to buy tomato lolz.
Listen sweedoll u can change him by supporting him and making him more stronger u are not even married yet and if a woman wants she can do anything she can make or break you can mould your future hubby with love and effection and not put him down if u do that he will be worse off then he is now.
Just be supportive and kindly, gently and wiht love tell him that he should be more confident of himself and TRY to solve his problems first then always he can come to you.
I always believe that one can talk about anything and say anything to anyone but with such manner that its not harmful or negative. So think positive everything will be fine and try to concentrate on good things of ur future hubby no one is perfect if he is weak in solving problems then he must be VERY good at something else.
If your having doubt now. Leave it. Get out now. You'll find the strong guy you always want. Who wants a guy that always moans to you about his problems 24/7?? I certainly wouldnt! I'm sure you'll get that strong guy and the sense of being secure. I mean which guy tells his girl all these things when hes engaged?? Surly that would scare the girl off!
Trust me jus follow your instinct! Dont live your life thinking 'what if'
You seem very selfish, immature and ungrateful brat. You should praise yourself lucky you have a fiance like that. Most guys dont share their inner problems, they keep it to themself.
He trusts you so much that he shares everything with you,even his problems. And in addition he is really sweet and loving as u keep saying. I dont see how sharing his problems makes him a weak person. Guys are not made of stone, they need to talk and share aswell as Cm said. Dont you rather want him to share everything with you, than to someone else?
Your clearly just thinking about how u feel, you havent even botherd to see his point of view. U keep saying that you get upset whenever he shares his problems, but have you ever botherd to think about how he is feeling?. He comes to you cuz he thinks he can count on you as you are his fiance. There is no weakness in it. If he cant come to you than who can he come to ?
That you see him as weak, that tells us more about what kind of person you are.
If your having doubt now. Leave it. Get out now. You'll find the strong guy you always want. Who wants a guy that always moans to you about his problems 24/7?? I certainly wouldnt! I'm sure you'll get that strong guy and the sense of being secure. I mean which guy tells his girl all these things when hes engaged?? Surly that would scare the girl off!
Trust me jus follow your instinct! Dont live your life thinking 'what if'
Helloooooooooooooooooooooooo helloooooooooooooo
what the ... is this are u people gone nuts here???
trying to breakup a marriage? you think its a game? unblieveable that someone can give this advice to whom they do not even know gosh.
You seem very selfish, immature and ungrateful brat. You should praise yourself lucky you have a fiance like that. Most guys dont share their inner problems, they keep it to themself.
He trusts you so much that he shares everything with you,even his problems. And in addition he is really sweet and loving as u keep saying. I dont see how sharing his problems makes him a weak person. Guys are not made of stone, they need to talk and share aswell as Cm said. Dont you rather want him to share everything with you, than to someone else?
Your clearly just thinking about how u feel, you havent even botherd to see his point of view. U keep saying that you get upset whenever he shares his problems, but have you ever botherd to think about how he is feeling?. He comes to you cuz he thinks he can count on you as you are his fiance. There is no weakness in it. If he cant come to you than who can he come to ?
That you see him as weak, that tells us more about what kind of person you are.
watz selfish about it???after engagement ,wen all the other girls are thinking about their honeymoon or married life,i have to think about his problems???is this for wat am getting married???it presents a horrible picture..i feel he is shaky and inconfident,do girls want such a husband???:(
watz selfish about it???after engagement ,wen all the other girls are thinking about their honeymoon or married life,i have to think about his problems???is this for wat am getting married???it presents a horrible picture..i feel he is shaky and inconfident,do girls want such a husband???:(
Well i rest my case
really i cannot believe this
it really seems to me that not HE but you are very insecure and not confident at all to handle him or the marriage. Have u ever thought about that?
Because just read back your message then u will understand what i mean :)
Well i rest my case
really i cannot believe this
it really seems to me that not HE but you are very insecure and not confident at all to handle him or the marriage. Have u ever thought about that?
Because just read back your message then u will understand what i mean :)
Helloooooooooooooooooooooooo helloooooooooooooo
what the ... is this are u people gone nuts here???
trying to breakup a marriage? you think its a game? unblieveable that someone can give this advice to whom they do not even know gosh.
excuse me! She is clearly upset, shes a young girl, she is NOT married shes engaged. IF you didnt know engagments can get broken off if one is not HAPPY. she clearly isnt. Why should she worry about HIS problems at this stage?? Like she said she wants to look forward to being a bride and the honeymoon Not all his problems. Theres enuff time in married life to worry about problems. Life is too short.
And btw you dont know her either. If you read english you can CLEARLY see she is NOT happy.
