Re: My fiance is from back home....
Zamana nahi badla, hum badal gaye :D
Re: My fiance is from back home....
I did it for my dad and family. They have been pestering me for years... I hated him... and infront of me they would talk about him... how funny, good whatever he is. My dad did accept for me to go outside of family. BUT I could see in his eyes how much he wanted it in the fam.
In my opinion, his age, education, and financial stability are three factors which could use against his proposal. I am not ok with the way your parents are proceeding in rishta. Cant they put aside whole khandani rishty dari thing and look other important consideration of healthy relationship.
Re: My fiance is from back home....
Im still confused...
Re: My fiance is from back home....
Marrying a cousin means saat janamo ka byah..........:D
marrying outsider leaves divorce option open..........:D
Re: My fiance is from back home....
hmmmmm true ninja.....
Re: My fiance is from back home....
yeahhh... thats whats bothering me the most.... im quite ahead of him in everything.. hes gonna take time to mature and be responsible.... this is the real stuff getting to me. I wanted someone who is stable and who I REALLY would WANT to marry.
Re: My fiance is from back home....
ooh my.... there are strong arguments from each side. I think I'm gonna go cry in one corner. I just have a feeling I cant get out of it now. And talking with me dad is gonna be AWKWARD.... all the family have talked about it and in their heads and in his head it is pakka... but me.. and my heart it isnt .. yet...lets see what my future brings me. Allah does best.
Re: My fiance is from back home....
Be practical when you consider the proposal. Don't say no, just because he's from back home. Maybe his adoration for you and desire for this marriage are strong enough to convince you that you'll be happy together. Figure out if you guys are compatible in your values, lifestyle and future goals - if you are, then he's worth considering.
On the other hand, don't say yes just to please the parents - they won't have to spend the rest of their life with him - you do. If he's not the right person for you because you are too different and are unable or unwilling to bridge the gap, then say no.
Not to bring a damper to the situation, but I knew a couple who were first cousins and they got married because it was both of their fathers' dying (brothers) wish. Shaadi toh hogayee, but they divorced one year later and everyone who knew them had actually predicted the divorce since they were known to not be compatible.
Re: My fiance is from back home....
you are only 20. why should you have to SETTLE for anyone???? i know its hard that your parents want this but seriously think to yourself if this is not right for you DONT DO IT. marriage is a lifetime commitment and it will define the rest of your life. ALSO, he is YOUNGERR than you. i could under stand if the 2 yrs difference was when u both mature like maybe 29 27 range. but 18/20?? how long are u gona wait for this kid to mature?? he has so much time ahead of him. heck, he has barely started college forget career. i would not commit to him. tell ur parents that you would like to see other rishtas first as there is ABSOLUTELY NO RUSH with this guy. honestly in my community, age and career are very important decision making factors. i would DEFINITELY talk to your parents about this. see what they say. you dont have to say no to the rishta but you can MOST DEFINITELY ask for more time to decide. you yourself have so much time ahead of you.
i hope i was not harsh but i have seen soooooo many mangnis break and i would hate for it to happen to you.
Re: My fiance is from back home....
I think it's gonna take time for me to say anything atm.
Re: My fiance is from back home....
the longer you wait, the harder it will be. and also the more problems that will be created.
Re: My fiance is from back home....
Are you absolutely positive you cannot love him? Most of the time...our partners surprise us. The person we thought we'd end up with at age 21 sometimes is not the man we marry at the age of 25. You have to understand that every relationship...even a love marriage will take effort...every single day. Just because a guy is your type doesn't mean that's all that's required.
What are his goals? His options at this point? What are his plans for his future?
Re: My fiance is from back home....
It doesnt matter if it's marriage or not but if you don't plan on being into smtng a 100%, then it is better to not step into it.
Having said that, if this is a good person, you should think twice about breaking this b/c good men are very difficult to find.
Re: My fiance is from back home....
I dont know if I will love him or not. His lifestyle, goals and taste is different and opposite to mine. My mum uses the line 'opposites attract' on me.
Re: My fiance is from back home....
It doesnt matter if it's marriage or not but if you don't plan on being into smtng a 100%, then it is better to not step into it.
Having said that, if this is a good person, you should think twice about breaking this b/c good men are very difficult to find.
This
Re: My fiance is from back home....
He is a good person for sure and very much into Islam. Its just about time now.
Re: My fiance is from back home....
just say no........ he is from back home.....no matter how hard you want to work it out......he will always be 'back home' guy......and not good enough.....
leave him now....so its easier for all..
Re: My fiance is from back home....
just say no........ he is from back home.....no matter how hard you want to work it out......he will always be 'back home' guy......and not good enough.....
leave him now....so its easier for all..
+1
Re: My fiance is from back home....
He is a good person for sure and very much into Islam. Its just about time now.
Well, are you getting married now? Or before he is done with his education?
Re: My fiance is from back home....
say no
not because of hurting, but because it is not something you want
plus
he seems to me like the paindu type