Confused much. He is from back home.. ehmmm Pakistan. I’m born and bred in the UK. He is my cousin and he is two years younger than me. I’m 20 and he is 18. He is my khalas and chahus son. get the relationship. Anyway… EVERYONE has been wanting us to get married and stuff… i said no first because of the negative stereo typification of boys back home.. the pervy type. But I just came back from pak a month ago and all his fam convinced me to say yes and I have. He is over the moon. He is like obsessed with me. I like him.. but dont love him… I need time. When I was in pak… I was all in the mood and said yes.. but now that I’m back I kind of want to have a choice of saying no.. cos I really did it for my family… I’ve never had a boyfriend or anything… and I don’t like anyone else.. its just that he is not what I wanted… I guess you can say not my type. I don’t wanna hurt his feelings but I dont wanna be with him. my parents love me and would never force me but now that i have said yes it would break their hearts. esp my dads. He is my world and my life! I could never upset him. When i said yes… he cried to my mum and thanked Allah. Should I just go along?
I would think twice, you're 20 he's 18, there is no rush first of all, second I don't think you're ready really. Don't get married to please others, you willl have to live with it day to day.
Confused much. He is from back home.. ehmmm Pakistan. I'm born and bred in the UK. He is my cousin and he is two years younger than me. I'm 20 and he is 18. He is my khalas and chahus son. get the relationship. Anyway.... EVERYONE has been wanting us to get married and stuff... i said no first because of the negative stereo typification of boys back home.. the pervy type. But I just came back from pak a month ago and all his fam convinced me to say yes and I have. He is over the moon. He is like obsessed with me. I like him.. but dont love him... I need time. When I was in pak... I was all in the mood and said yes.. but now that I'm back I kind of want to have a choice of saying no.. cos I really did it for my family... I've never had a boyfriend or anything.... and I don't like anyone else.. its just that he is not what I wanted.... I guess you can say not my type. I don't wanna hurt his feelings but I dont wanna be with him. my parents love me and would never force me but now that i have said yes it would break their hearts. esp my dads. He is my world and my life! I could never upset him. When i said yes.... he cried to my mum and thanked Allah. Should I just go along?
thanks
Are you mad? (Its a serious question)
Please don't take offence, just say "yes" or "no" or "how would I know if i was" etc
You can share your dil ki baat with your dad and let him know that you are not feeling ok. just check him what his response on your little reservation.
If you like him try to build love by interacting with him. Talk to him , get to know him and then make your decision. There is no rush for shadi here , is it ?
If you do not start to love him , you can always drive him away with your rude and bad behavior which is not a difficult act to pull , is it ? Then if he would say no to this rishta , your dad will not blame you.
P.S. I am just kidding in the second paragraph , I am serious in the first paragraph. so seriously try to build bridges. If this does not workout then open a new thread then I will give you the suitable advice depending on the situation then.
Has your wedding date already been set? Or has an indication be given about when it will be?
You can tell your father that you need time to overthink things. And that you feel a bit overwhelmed. He is your father and he will understand.
Baaqi nobody here can say anything about it. It is your decision. Do what you think is good for you. And don’t let yourself brainwash by certain people. (With certain people I mean people here wo know nothing about your situation and your family and will give you a biased judgemental view against ot on forhand).
We can’t say anything about your readyness for marriage or not, or your age or about your fiance or his family.
You LIKE him tu problem kia hai? I could understand if you didnt like him but…
Another option would be not to make it formal and let it b/w 2 families. He is just 18 and you are 20. Most likely you guys have 3-4 years to sort out things. If things fall in place then well an good and if not, both of you can go North and South.
Your parents wont get too hurt if you tell them that you want to give it a try BECAUSE OF THEM but you are certainly not saying YES.
I did it for my dad and family. They have been pestering me for years... I hated him... and infront of me they would talk about him... how funny, good whatever he is. My dad did accept for me to go outside of family. BUT I could see in his eyes how much he wanted it in the fam.
zamana did not change much in family if they pressured you and emotionally blackmailed you to say yes. If zamana had changed , you would have been given a choice.
