how can i talk to me? i cant even go INFRONT of him. hes in pakistan. i know if i talk to him.. he will make up some story and i will melt nd let it go like i have before! what made me ask him? well in the begging of the realationship i found abt some orkut acct nd where he was talking to random grls .. like literally making the effort to talk to them. i asked him nd he sed he wunt do it again nd i let it go! well here than i wud check his account and saw it countinued nd he made some story that she went to his hs nd he decided to cancel the account so we wont have any problems. i let it go again..
should i talk still talk to him first? ughhh i hate dis feeling.. im so scared!
Strawberry,
There have been many people on gupshup who have shared problems in which they were afraid of confronting the other person. But after confronting the person, they found peace and felt better. Honey, you're just engaged to this guy. You should read the recent thread posted by Annymou.....who had to confront her own **HUSBAND **about strange suspicious emails. Like you, she was scared to confront him and unsure about what to do. And only a couple of days ago, she confronted her husband and Alhumdolillah found relief and clarification.
And....her husband is in Pakistan......so she had to do it all over the phone.
And that's what you'll have to do as well. It'll require some courage, but you have the** RIGHT to know. What if your sister or best friend was going through the same problem? Wouldn't you advise your sister/friend to get to the bottom of things and talk to the guy? Wouldn't you advise her to sort the issue instead of destroying her life by marrying a guy who could cheat on her in the future? You **KNOW **you would advise your loved ones to do the same. You **know **that **common sense **tells you to confront your fiance and **talk **to him. The confrontation doesn't have to be **MEAN, it doesn't have to be UGLY. You're simply giving him a chance to explain his emails.
And if your fiance gets mad and says "You have no right looking at my emails.".....then I'm sorry, but he gave u the password.....and at this point......such a defensive response is not a good sign. As Bonbonierre said in another thread.....if a guy is cheating with another woman behind closed doors......and his wife opens that door and finds him in a compromising situation.......he has NO right to get mad at her for opening that door. Such a defensive response is a sign of guilt.
Right now, you are under overwhelming stress because of what you have discovered. But, I promise you, u will feel soooo much better once you talk to your fiance. Even **IF **you find out that he's cheating on you.......at least it will help you to decide what **your **next step in this relationship should be.
Strawberry, IF while talking to your fiance, your intuition is telling you that he's lying.......please don't fall for his sweet words. Sincere love involves faithfulness and commitment. IF **your fiance/spouse is cheating on you.....that's not love.....and he needs to **re-examine his current relationships before making a commitment to ANY girl.
You're a BRAVE **woman, strawberry. It took **courage and guts to create a gupshup account and post your problems and ask for advice in this thread that is being read by complete strangers! It took COURAGE **to do that. And that shows you **also have the courage to confront your own fiance.....who is not a stranger. You can do it!
Don't be shy. This issue involves your WHOLE life, hun.