I know this is a pretty normal pre teen stage most girls go through. The guy in question is my 1st cousin’s son who has just turned 19. The creepy part is that this cousin wanted to marry me but I turned him down and his elder brother was the object of my desires while I was my daughter’s age! Confused?
My daughters have a habit of leaving their books open and lying around and the scribbling about her ‘fit and sexy cousin’ and how much she loves him.
Harmless I know, but what should I do?
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
*tighten noose around your daughter's neck...NOT literally, of course! teach her what's the normal and acceptable behaviour. sorry if i have been harsh in my comments. *
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
As long as she does not share her feelings with him and he is not reciprocating , all is well and good.
She should know what are her limits and how to behave.
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
As long as she does not share her feelings with him and he is not reciprocating , all is well and good.
She should know what are her limits and how to behave.
well, i believe that...it should be nipped in the bud and not be allowed to prosper.
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
As long as she does not share her feelings with him and he is not reciprocating , all is well and good. She should know what are her limits and how to behave.
is there any way of surely knowing whether the 'sharing' has been done or not?
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
well, i believe that...it should be nipped in the bud and not be allowed to prosper.
And how do you propose that should happen? By locking her in her room? Removing her access to the outside world?
To the OP: If cousin marriages are ok for you, at this stage in your life I mean if in the future you do see your kids marrying in the family, then you need to just have a talk with her, and say well you're young at this point, crushes happen, but we shouldn't remark about the crushes in the manner she has. It should remain crushes and when she talks to that boy she shouldn't make anything too obvious. He is clearly waaay too old for her, and frankly, it's a bit creepy :S That's just my opinion. A 19 year old is at no point compatible with a 12 year old. Also, that she is too young to be dating or anything like that.
If you're not ok with marrying into family, you need to let your daughter, and heck, all your kids, know that it's not ok.
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
I remember having crushes on my cousin when i was 13 and Infact me and another cousin of the same age made a pact with two of our Male cousins who were like 14 that we would marry eachother :S
1 week later it was all forgotten haha.
She is probably the only male in her life atm who gives her some attention ( i mean apart from father brother etc) and so he is THE ONE. Talk to her about it in a very friendly way is if you were one of her girl friends to guage whats going on. It is very likely this is very silly little crush and nothing will happen.
If its more then just explain to her in a loving and friendly way that in our culture and religion things like this dont happen. Her hormones are all over the place atm bless her. That stage was tough growing up! I remember it well.
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
I Are you making all this? Is this the same pre-teen who is also writing 'my rapist boyfriend' journals.
I dont think that you need to correct your daughter, you need to correct your parenting style. There is seriously something wrong with how you are raising your kids.
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
is there any way of surely knowing whether the 'sharing' has been done or not?
I am pretty sure it hasn't. This is the nephew who I used to bathe and babysit and he is just so lovely, decent, kind and helpful. He even thinks of me as his 'coolest pupoh' his real ones are a stick in the mud lol!
I would know about these things. She has a mobile (but no credits) which she charges on my laptop so I would know if she was texting him. I know that she doesn't. When we are at family gatherings, we all mingle and have a laugh and I am always keeping a watchful eye on them, nothing heavy but if I get the slightest inclination that she is going over the top with her behaviour then I will have it out with her. She is very quiet and shy but also very headstrong.
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
I Are you making all this? Is this the same pre-teen who is also writing 'my rapist boyfriend' journals.
I dont think that you need to correct your daughter, you need to correct your parenting style. There is seriously something wrong with how you are raising your kids.
Who the hell do you think you are? How dare you accuse me of making these up. it is happening, it is real and it's what girls this age do. Get a grip and get real. If you can't offer any useful advice which the others have then go away and don;t say anything at all.
You have no idea who I am or what I have been through, to question my parenting skills. Am I supposed to attach myself to them 24/7 just so that I can know what is going on inside their minds?
Just for the record, I was not asking advice on how to correct my daughter. Think before you submit your reply.
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
Director at GS…most powerful man on these forums..
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
I Are you making all this? Is this the same pre-teen who is also writing 'my rapist boyfriend' journals.
I dont think that you need to correct your daughter, you need to correct your parenting style. There is seriously something wrong with how you are raising your kids.
That is an extremely harsh thing to say. I had crushes on my cousins when i was that age....I turned out fine and think my parents are amazing
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
I Are you making all this? Is this the same pre-teen who is also writing 'my rapist boyfriend' journals.
I dont think that you need to correct your daughter, you need to correct your parenting style. There is seriously something wrong with how you are raising your kids.
That's just harsh and uncalled for!
Many girls have crushes at that age, and so do boys......doesn't mean they're products of bad parenting
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
I have given an advice; correct your parenting style. You did not like it, is fine with me.
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
I Are you making all this? Is this the same pre-teen who is also writing 'my rapist boyfriend' journals.
I dont think that you need to correct your daughter, you need to correct your parenting style. There is seriously something wrong with how you are raising your kids.
This is pretty harsh, TLK.
I had the best and most attentive parents in the world and still all sorts of things used to go through my mind. This is what happens with children who are imaginative, creative, sensitive,etc. Especially when they are quiet. There is a whole life that goes on in their minds (and journals). They may not act on it, they may never share it with you or anyone else, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Or that the parents are bad.
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
I demand infraction points for the offensive poster 
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
It’s the end of the month. He usually gets a little feisty.
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
I Are you making all this? Is this the same pre-teen who is also writing 'my rapist boyfriend' journals.
I dont think that you need to correct your daughter, you need to correct your parenting style. There is seriously something wrong with how you are raising your kids.
A wise man once said:
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Maybe you should think before you judge peoples parenting skills.
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
When I was that sort of age I use to fancy a different person every week! That included cousins too! Sometimes my parents found out and other times they never knew. The good thing was that they never had a go at me about it and just trusted me. Once I told my dad I wanted to marry my first cousin and he although very upset said yes I could marry him after my studies...the fact he said yes made me forget about that cousin in a few weeks! So just trust them...don't make a big deal out of it. Remember at that age you just wanna do the opposite of what your parents want. The more you hold them back the further they will go.Sorry if some of this doesn't make sense...I'm on the train!
Re: My daughter fancies her second cousin.
Oh you truly noble people, I am sorry. Lets not blame anyone here cause having multi crushes and writing questionable journal entries involving rapist boyfriends are very common amongst pre-teen girls.
I submit to your holiness.