My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

[Bobby1]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

@Iconoclast

Tuch tuch that was so pathetic response. Try a little harder at insults and let me throw some back at you. Cmon make my day.

When your life is an insult you don’t need to be insulted, enjoy your time on earth..lol

[Iconoclast]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

@Beeba123

Wow. Lol. Wtf.

To all those who genuinely made comments for me thanks so much. I originally posted this because I felt like such a burden was on my shoulders. And from my heart getting it all out there made me feel so much better. And thanks to all who inboxed me too! Alhamdulliah. As an update, i feel better, me and dad are cool, I appreciate the comments I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to (cos I really actually don’t) and yes I do sympathise with my mum…cos she’s my mum. Duh.

To @xoas @ICONoclaust and whoever else was on that team - seriously? SERIOUSLY??? One of you even started attacking my comments on another thread! How pathetic! If you really feel women have 0 say in their men having other wife’s, and it is all up to the man blah blah blah then I really feel sorry for you. Your backwards mindset is what keeps us Pakistani’s 10 steps behind everyone else. There are such strict rulings in Islam and the topic of four wives - it is isn’t la de da as simple as you think. And god forbid you do what my dad did (albeit a mistake) to your wife of kids - but for people like yourselves that’s the way you will understand. Y’all need to open your MINDS. This bigot, selfish and ugly nature of cussing people out on threads is gonna get you no where real fast.

And you guys need to actually READ the WHOLE original message and understand the story before you comment.

Other than this drastic L, I feel so much better!!! Thanks everyone :0)

Some of us are already where we wanted to be, so thanks for your suggestion.
Secondly, behavior of people here should atleast show you the value of your family, of those who cared for you and protected you and will be there for you when you need them. Not a random troll who just looking for ways to vent for his deep wounds.
And it’s not about men or women, gender or culture or religion . Go figure the number of marriages, divorces, single parents are around in the world. You are not the only o e with step siblings. I would have said the same thing even if it was a woman, in question.

[Reha]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

@Bobby1

Whenever someone deletes the post, I so want to know what they wrote.

It was nothing really…just trying to close the thread but then I remembered I am not a mod here anymore!

[noor321]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

I don’t understand why some people are giving her such a hard time over not be able to accept her father’s marriage.

I know exactly how she feels, and it’s hard, very hard and can break you down at points. You question the fact you weren’t good enough. You are frustrated with all the lies and the fact that your father is not just yours.

[Iconoclast]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

@Bobby1

Polygamy was for a certain time same as having sex with war captives. Misunderstood religious beliefs cannot supercede human rights. Prophet did disallow Hadrat Ali from having a second wife so there is also examples in Sunnah against second wives. When men and women are born in same ratios then why can someone have multiple. So 12 kebabs, 12 guests..each take one but then 3 say we will take 4 each then 9 have no kebab. Do you like math?

Desirable men always had more women and still do, losers have to be content with the left overs.

[Bobby1]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

I will defend myself did you not read the unprovoked cussing he directed at me I don’t believe in accepting abuse this filthy man in past has abused my family also. It is not called bullying it is called teaching bullies there right full place

[Melodrama]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

@Bobby1

I will defend myself did you not read the unprovoked cussing he directed at me I don’t believe in accepting abuse this filthy man in past has abused my family also. It is not called bullying it is called teaching bullies there right full place

Bobby, I’m not against you or anyone else. I appreciate your presence on this forum. I have learnt many things from your posts. But since we were on about ‘not getting personal’, I had to quote this post. I am unable to understand why Admins don’t take any action if someone is abusing you or your family. Everyone is allowed to articulate their opinion but personal attacks should not be allowed in any form.

[third_string]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

Yeah Bobby get a life and don’t let the door hit you on your way out.

[Beeba123]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

Did I miss something

[Beeba123]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

Some people are getting way too butt hurt on this thread, which is leading me to believe more people than are letting on also have had an experience similar to or like mine. Or our society is just this sad and vindictive.

[IsaidwhatIsaid]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

@Beeba123

Some people are getting way too butt hurt on this thread, which is leading me to believe more people than are letting on also have had an experience similar to or like mine. Or our society is just this sad and vindictive.

I think the reality is too many people who are a part of the polygyny-fandom are upset that at this union not being as cracked up as they think it will be lmao.

[Iconoclast]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

@Bobby1

I will defend myself did you not read the unprovoked cussing he directed at me I don’t believe in accepting abuse this filthy man in past has abused my family also. It is not called bullying it is called teaching bullies there right full place

Those who have been here long enough know, it was you who started to attack other members families, and when I responded you ran with your tail between your legs. Unfortunately those posts were deleted by mods, when the forum was better moderated, or I could show these kids your real face. Then you ran wild on other sections trying to make fun of Punjabis bcoz you could not tolerate the heat , and got owned. Remember some of us don’t take lightly when you make sweeping generalizations about a whole group of people and will continue to put you in your place.
The only thing you can teach is sucking up, not interested.

[Iconoclast]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

@Beeba123

Some people are getting way too butt hurt on this thread, which is leading me to believe more people than are letting on also have had an experience similar to or like mine. Or our society is just this sad and vindictive.

Talk about pot calling kettle black.
No one comes across as vindictive as you here. Re enforcing posters who call your step mom a whore, normalizing abuse of your dad.
Anyhow, you are young and emotional now. As the time passes you won’t look at it this way.

[Beeba123]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

.

[Beeba123]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

.

[Beeba123]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

@IsaidwhatIsaid

I think the reality is too many people who are a part of the polygyny-fandom are upset that at this union not being as cracked up as they think it will be lmao.

Lol

[Beeba123]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

@IsaidwhatIsaid

I think the reality is too many people who are a part of the polygyny-fandom are upset that at this union not being as cracked up as they think it will be lmao.

@Iconoclast

Talk about pot calling kettle black.
No one comes across as vindictive as you here. Re enforcing posters who call your step mom a whore, normalizing abuse of your dad.
Anyhow, you are young and emotional now. As the time passes you won’t look at it this way.

I don’t know if it is an English problem or your genuinally being annoying. But she isn’t my stepmother. My dad did not divorce and remarry. He cheated got another wife then told my mum. She is nothing to me. There is 0 relation.

Just because I don’t agree with what my dad did doesn’t mean I am normalising abuse toward him LOL. Please recheck what you intend to mean before you bother making these big sweeping statements.

[Reha]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

@Beeba123

I don’t know if it is an English problem or your genuinally being annoying. But she isn’t my stepmother. My dad did not divorce and remarry. He cheated got another wife then told my mum. She is nothing to me. There is 0 relation.

Just because I don’t agree with what my dad did doesn’t mean I am normalising abuse toward him LOL. Please recheck what you intend to mean before you bother making these big sweeping statements.

I don’t think you need to defend yourself here.

Men will always support polygamy. It feels manly to them. But its rare to see a man do justice to two different homes. He almost always fails at this. That is how it is…however sad it might be.

My suggestion is…please keep a very formal relationship as this is not the time to question anything. Its like in-laws…you get too close and too chummy there will almost always be issues. Its your father’s second family and his job to make their place in the family. He didn’t do justice and by default only presented your mom and you as his children to his extended family. So that’s what they’re used to. I am sure you’ve already made peace with it but you don’t actually have to do anything else.

[IsaidwhatIsaid]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

@Beeba123

I don’t know if it is an English problem or your genuinally being annoying. But she isn’t my stepmother. My dad did not divorce and remarry. He cheated got another wife then told my mum. She is nothing to me. There is 0 relation.

Just because I don’t agree with what my dad did doesn’t mean I am normalising abuse toward him LOL. Please recheck what you intend to mean before you bother making these big sweeping statements.

Just like @Reha stated, this person and others like them are men who are always out there to defend polygyny because they most likely would like to have this union as well. It gets them butthurt to see the union is not all that great, *most *women would rather not be a part of it, and it is not a stable family bond especially the way your dad shoehorned it into your family. There is no need to justify yourself to that person or others like them, because it is their butthurt that is guiding their inability to read what you actually wrote lmao.

[Iconoclast]

Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it

@IsaidwhatIsaid

Just like @Reha stated, this person and others like them are men who are always out there to defend polygyny because they most likely would like to have this union as well. It gets them butthurt to see the union is not all that great, *most *women would rather not be a part of it, and it is not a stable family bond especially the way your dad shoehorned it into your family. There is no need to justify yourself to that person or others like them, because it is their butthurt that is guiding their inability to read what you actually wrote lmao.

You don’t have to worry too much about polygamy. No man will take you as a wife, first, second or third.