My dad

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Seems like no matter how hard i try…i just can’t be good enough :frowning:

everytime i do something, he is like :nono4: im gonna boycott him :frusty2:

2

Re: My dad

LoL. Please come live at my house. My father lectures me on the same things for an hour and a half on the same things daily. There was a point i wished he'd just beat me so I wouldn't have to hear it anymore. My grades were never good enough and for all I seemed to do there was never praise but just criticism. I think it's some thing with desi dads, and I feel like they think they're making you a stronger person. However, being so harsh with your children can leave them depressed and with self-esteem issues. I think there needs to be a balance.

3

you should run away from home. like me.

4

Re: My dad

Depends upon what that “something” is that you intend on doing. Some things warrant a :nessy: response.

If this refers to things like academics…try talking to your dad calmly about how you feel. When you bring up how hurtful his words are during an argument…it won’t be as effective since both parties are agitated. So, pick a time when he’s more relaxed…or talk to your mom about it…and maybe she can discuss it with your dad.

Most parents want the best in life for their kids…although some take it a bit too far and persistently engage in harmful behaviors like excessive comparing, pressuring, ridiculing…or living vicariously through their children. The intentions are good…the method may not be the best…and they may not be aware of it. Boycotting won’t solve anything.

Talk to him/mom about the issue…maybe ask his him for advice/suggestions…do your best. And listen to what he has to say. Criticism can be hard to take (and it depends on how it’s worded)…but sometimes it can be constructive if you reflect on it…and can be used to improve oneself.

5

The problem is…since my dad has given us the “golden opportunity” of bringing us to America…he won’t be happy until i become like the president :smack:
i mean…sometimes i think that he is my father and that is his duty but then its so irritating being yelled at for random crap like leaving ur phone on the dining table or dropping something accidently…ughhhh…i can hear him yelling at my brother as im writing this :bummer:

6

Re: My dad

^Maybe he's stressed out at work or something. Stress can have a domino effect. Ask him if everything is okay (it shows consideration...you never know what someone may be going through). And as mentioned above...try talking to him when he's relaxed...or talk to your mom about the issue if it's happening frequently.

And also take the time out to reflect over whether what he's saying is sensible.....sometimes the other person can be right. And believe me...I understand that this is easier said than done.

7

Re: My dad

:salam2:

Ask those pplz whom beloved parents r passed-away and how they miss them. Just pray 4 long-life of your parents.

btw! my dad is always saying to me ‘No’ whether i do right or wrong. So the solution for this when i wanna do something, i ask my daddy first and always do the oppoiste what he said. :cb:

So dad is happy k son asked me (got my advice) and i’m :woho: b’coz i did what i want :smiley:

8

Re: My dad

That's smart Lkk...I guess that is the solution.

I agree with PakBacha. I think it's the generation gap that our parents don't sometimes understand the way we want them to, and unfortunately they fail to realise that we are very different from the kids of their time (not that I am saying they were wierd to be too obedient or that we are disrespectful).

9

Re: My dad

^ this generation gap could come to us also. example me and u after 50 year and our generations will do beyond our imagination :cb:

hehehehe

10

Re: My dad

No they won't do beyond our imagination, because I don't think it can get any worse than it already is, especially in the west.

Also, we know how it feels to be misunderstood, so we can then not repeat our parents mistake and try to understand the kids of next generation according to the time and "zamana" then and make clear to them whats wrong and whats right.

11

Re: My dad

^ when a 2yrs or above child can make us laugh by doing something new, beyond our imagination than how u suppose the baby when grow-up, will not beyond our imagination.

I agree what u wrote above but for this purpose we have to act like a child to understand another child (our kid) and to prepare them according to time and “zamana” as well as to ourself, we should understand and accept recent ear.

Best is in the begining the base of our child should be build as per life of our beloved Prophet Muhammad :saw2:

12

Re: My dad

Just sit your dad down and have it out.

Pakistani fathers who have shifted from the motherland have issues about fathering. They try to mimick their own perception of how a pakistani father is ( even though their own dad was beyond gentle!). Which means constantly moaning !!

BUT they do not realise Pakistani fathers in pakistan are actually LOVING, especially their daughters.

if you catch my drift... they try to maintain the pakistani upbringing i am the leader of the house.
we had a similar issue with my father, i wanted to work in the fashion industry i was told what a waste of your maths degree and what not. He was ashamed to say the least, he refused to tell people what i did ( i'm a buyer for a large retail store in the UK) i pick whats in whats not in short.

It took a trip to pakistan to see my cousin who is a designer there and how everyone praised it to be accepted!

Its just an assumption issue. They don't see how loving and nuturing the pakistani fathers in pak are, they think they are some sort of dictators and to avoid their besti they act this way.

Proof? ask your mother. She was actually tell you this!

13

Re: My dad

@ lethal

I think you are saying "we will need to adopt the new zamana and its ways to understand our kids and we shouldn't do that". Well ofcourse agar zamana kuch ghalat sikha raha hai kids ko, so we shouldn't agree with them and tell them that's wrong. But the problem is when our parents try to make us understand something, they sometimes don't say it in a polite way and with logic.

Yes you are right, kids ki achi tarbiyat ko islam main jaisa bataya giya hai wasi karni chahiye.

14

Re: My dad

When our fathers will not be around, then we will realize what we had. And you will regret this very moment when you public-ally did this.

My father is still with me and every single day I strive to make him happy. After every single prayer I make dua for him no matter what.

Seriously, I am so ashamed to even reply to this topic. Wake up and realize what blessing you guys have!

15

Re: My dad

When he starts moaning, give him a random hug...u'll both feel better :)

16

Re: My dad

w8 w8 w8!

i want 2 tell u something

my father has passed away for 3 weeks and now i know what actually father daughter relationship is!

i thaught also like this when my father was alive but know today i feel that im nothing without him! i do his every job which he did in his life just for our relaxing life but know i hv 2 stand up for my own things what i want 2 get. qauz pehele yeh tha k agar meine mun c baat nikali nahin aur baat puri hogayee know ab agar mujhe kisi cheez ki zarurat pare bhi to now i hv 2 struggle for it.

plzz girls dont think abt ur dad anything wrong anything which actually this relationship doesnt deserve

respect him love him and be a hard shoulder of his

doesnt matter if u are his daughter or his son

u know my dad always told me that im his son and ihv never accepted it but today i really feel that im his son more then his daughter!

so i feel and i hopwe that he is very proud on me and im proud on myself 2

so girls/boys

plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz avoid thinking like this

father's love is mroe then a motherslove

trust me!

17

U mean ‘Jadoo ki Japphi’ :omg: :lajawab:

18

Re: My dad

well said shera21

19

@shera21:

Allah SWT! unko Janaat mein highest position ata farmain Ameen.

Believe it or not, still your father is with u. In your daily routine, spare a time on daily basis to prayer for your beloved father. Its called ‘Sadqa Jariyah’ from naik, saleh oulad.

:insh: i’ll pray whenever i’ll remember :slight_smile:

20

May Allah rest his soul and give all our fathers a long life.

Yes ..You are absolutly right .. and I was gona say that this type of complaining is a sign of qiyaamat that aulaad will disobey their parents .. but to prevent this sign Allah has told dua numerous time various ways for your parents .. we even pray for parents in Namaz .. and In Qur'aan it says .. that to even say ''uff'' * the word 'uff' has come in quraan as we use it today .. that to do even uff i.e. reply back, raise your voice etc ..is disrespectful ..

and after all this .. everyone shuld keep in mind that you too will become parents .. and they way yu treat yur parents .. thats the way you ll be treated .. its like the english saying .. what goes round comes round ..

so please do respect your parents .. no matter what .. i.e. no complaining ..