Granted mostly women are the ones who have to move and sacrifice a career for the husband but i am sure a lot of husbands do the same for their military wives.
In most armies an individual is generally based in the home town or city of their regiment. Their family usually lives there; their postings abroad are only for a few months at a time except in exceptional times.
The spouse can pursue a career in that home time with generally minimum career interruption due to relocation.
Diplomats are different - there is no "home town", and most of their career is spent abroad and moving between countries relatively often.
I'm not ready to commit yet. Only once I have gained the experience I have always dreamt of.
Thanks for your advice guys, I really appreciate it. I'm just going to take it easy and hang in there for a while. I've realised that at the moment the career comes first and I can wait a few years before settling down.
CM, thanks man - coming from a diplomat himself I appreciate the advice. When you visiting me? I shall await a date by early next year for your arrival.
But alas, I do enjoy the single life immensely. Sometimes I just want someone to cuddle at night though. lol
Living with 4 other uber cool housemates just adds to the contentment. We have become like a family - go on hiking trips, have joint parties, dinners yet all have our own independent lives.
married for 13 years, and since 5-7 years they living apart flying across Atlantic to be with one an other, and they said they are happy, both dont want to hinder each others careers.
What is the purpose of getting married if you are not even willing to live together?
Just to say, its an amazing career you have esp for a desi woman. I am like Stylo babe here with my MBA premarraige workexperience, but that didn't work for me later. I don't work now. However,in your situation, you have a good chance of making it work with the gora guy along with your carrer. A lot of Muslim converts are so much better Muslims than us. Insha Allah he will make a good father.
yeah and i have done my MBA worked for like 3 yrs ....and now getting married and dont really plan to WORK even if i do work ....family comes first......am not career oriented though i was at one time but now i know how important it is to be a better wife ...daughter and most of all a better mother which am sure u cant be with a career!
i disagree. its not just the quantity of time but quality of time spent.
there are plenty of career women who are fanatastic mothers
and there are plenty of stay at home mothers who raise pathetic kids.
^ I have to agree with him. Like he said, I have seen women who are currently mother of 2/3 children and working full time. Not only working, but keeping up with PTAs and kid's sports and what not and also have managed to take care of the house.
Both men and women have the capabilites to achieve almost anything, its just the matter of how much one is willing to give in.
CW: Enjoy your career and keep talking to the white dude as well. Let him explore Islam more and once he submits himself [inshaAllah] then he will surely ask for your hand and then hope things can work out for you.
I'm not ready to commit yet. Only once I have gained the experience I have always dreamt of.
Thanks for your advice guys, I really appreciate it. I'm just going to take it easy and hang in there for a while. I've realised that at the moment the career comes first and I can wait a few years before settling down.
CM, thanks man - coming from a diplomat himself I appreciate the advice. When you visiting me? I shall await a date by early next year for your arrival.
But alas, I do enjoy the single life immensely. Sometimes I just want someone to cuddle at night though. lol
Living with 4 other uber cool housemates just adds to the contentment. We have become like a family - go on hiking trips, have joint parties, dinners yet all have our own independent lives.
Single-life is addictive and so much FUN!!! You dont even know where time goes because you're having so much fun. I lived alone in downtown for years and hated moving back but my parents insisted so I had to. But those years were the best! I had slumber parties at my place all the time, dinners, movie nights, study circles, etc. And then there were days when I just laid in bed all day with a great book and not a care in the world. Rock it out cat-woman, you only live ONCE!
Dont settle down until you're ready...that is the most important thing. Wait for the right person, you will know it as things will start to work out like they've got feet of their own! Allah shows you in his own way when he is ready for you to have a family, Inshallah.
careers and jobs come and go BUT Mr.Right doesn't. I would agree with Maddy and adrasteia, if you think this is the right person for you to get married then do it. If you are passionate about your work, you will find other means to find a career again in the new country.
I agree with X2 and LL.
My mother is a doctor.. she gave up on her ob/gyn career and went into radiology while I was a baby because she wanted to give me more time and decided to do something that would take less time comparitively. Before my brother and I even hit teen years, she was running her own clinic but never during my entire life I have felt that my mother didn’t look after us well. Despite of having grandmothers and a nanny, my mum never left us at their mercy entirely. She never missed any important events in our school, fed us herself, and no matter how tired she would be after work, she would still cook and take care of the family. At times I am selfish and wish my mother had been home 24/7 but that’s wrong because she also has a life of own as an individual. I am so proud of her for balancing her demanding profession and her home life, and of course her achievements. Even today when we are in our 20’s, she cooks for us, looks after us and is always such a wonderful mother. I look at my brother and sister and realize how well they have been raised- cultured, religious and selfless/generous towards others.. and even at this age, we are so scared of my parents and cannot dismis anything they tell us to do.
Same with my parents in law as well. When my husband was a baby, his mother worked during the day while the dad worked during night so one of them could be with the baby at all times. Today my mil is a big successful executive and works very long hours, however, all her time is her family’s once she is home. And everyone always commends on the way she has raised her three boys despite of always been a working mother.
Personally speaking, I would not work when I have kids because unlike my two moms I mentioned above, I really lack the ability to multi task.. I know that balancing both would be very tough for me and not to mention tiring
