I know everyone is like but right now i just need to share. Bear with me
:sigh:
Just when i thought it was all getting better. My bro actually started staying at home doing regular things..playstation, tv, cooking, messing with the kids. And this was a huge blessing, especially after considering that for months on end we’d never see him in the house. He came home slept and then vanished during the day.
He pleaded guilty for his trial, he was ordered to see a youth offending panel and he EVEN attended the first one I was real hopeful that this was the slow step to recovering himself from the street…
I guess somethings aren’t meant to be. He left yesterday on Eid at 11am and its 7pm today and he’s not back. Mum is going to pieces and i don’t know where to start and what to do.
And worse thing is i got over emotional yesterday. He’s been pushing me for months, years…and yesterday i BLEW.
Hes always saying how he’d go rob someone or stab someone so i shouted at him and told him to go do every friggin thing he wanted. I told him if jail appeals to you then go out right now and stab someone…
We all need to get it off our chest somehow, its better to get it off than keep it in so don't feel that you're putting us to sleep : )
Real hopeful eh, I guess along the way you made expectations too. Don't next time : ) Its just safer that way cuz if it happens then atleast you won't be shocked. Some things are to be worked for, there is still hope : ) Do not despair. Trust me on this.
Well I guess shouting at him provoked him. Its better to stay quiet for some time rather than get "emotional" especially when its anger.
However, you shouldn't feel guilty because its him who's causing all this and not you. You may have provoked this action but he's been this way for a while so don't beat yourself over it. Its not worth it.
Cooldude - I feel guilty for what he's become. I feel helpless. I love my lil bro more than my life and i see him as a baby. I can't watch him crumble cuz it kills me and he's dragging me down with him. He just doesn't realise. As for stabbing, robbing...i don't think he has any limits. I guess he'd do anything cuz he's tooooo naive, stupid and innocent.
Shinoo - Yaar. Worried sick is not the word. I don't know if there are words to describe how i feel. Inexplicable.
Cocay - Thanks sweetheart. I'll have to listen up on that singing of yours yet and add my contributions ( i messed up the pc too ) and this laptop sucks. As for my bro i want to help, i have to help but i don't know how to. Frustrating.
OOh sweetheart I know the feeeling
I am sure he is ok…
If u start allowing terrible thoughts in ur mind then there’ll be a point where u cant go back…that ur convinced that something bad has happened.
Keep thinking positive…He’ll be back soon!
sometimes u have to be cruel to be kind, kick him out of the house! i know its a tuff decision but its up to u and yur family to make. Show him whos boss in yur house! and trust me he'll come crying back like a lost puppy.
PM
p.s.
in my opinion hes taking the piss big time and emotionally blackmailing u and yur family, and he'll keep on doin it untill u kick him out yur house.
Ducky Fella: Pehle to aap please tension na lo…ok and smile :D] <== like this..i know it ain’t a smile..but i want one this big…k? :~)
Now onto the issue at hand. Hmm..hai to tuf..you know what..i know it sounds harsh and kinda boorish, but i tend to agree with punjabi-munda…uske formule ko thora dilute kar ke use kar ke dekho…i am sure it would work out inshallah (aur uski pocket money to bilkul band kar do :o …aur eidi tou bilkul na dena :nono3: )
Dear Disco~Duck i know sis how u feel ...i have been through same sitation few years back but i tell u waqat sub se bara ustaad hai ..let him learn from his mistakes ..sometimes koi advice koi khaloos bharay mashawraa pyaar mohabat kuch bhi nahi kaam atta :( .i jope sub kuch theek hoo jaey .
Shinzy - Trying to think positive. I know he won’t do anything drastic but god knows how long he will stay out and we don’t know where he is or who with. His friends protect him by saying we don’t know…as if..
punjabi - Well to be honest with you. That’s what we said to him..that if you really think your ‘friends’ are going to ‘support’ you then GO ! About throwing him out..mum would never ever ever let us. He’s got a criminal record and he wouldn’t survive for a day on his own..
Khanuuuuu mle chiquu - Yaar, trying to : ) Soooooooo hard. Itni tension detey hea na yea ladkay..suchi se. You know i feel worse cuz abbu is ammi is bros r sis is :(…no one is even talking in the house…
Eidi tho woh lekar gaya hea. Until he doesn’t spend it all ghar anay ka chance bhi nahin hea…
Imzi - Thanks
mehroo - Haan na yaar. Tried and tested everything. Talking, being nice, giving him what he wants, NOT giving him what he wants, shouting, an odd slap hehe, basss nothing works.
but the last thing needed in this situation is u or ur other family members to lose hope. cuz if that happens then it's all lost.
best thing is to keep on trying.......and if he comes home.....there is NO use in getting angry at him whatsoever.....it will be more fruitfull if the whole family actually welcomes him and eplains to him in a nice way that he got u all worried......and what he did wasn't right.
try to convince him to stay at home........make him FEEL at home......try to enforce his positive behaviour by rewarding it.
have fnu chit chat with him...........don't let him get bored......cuz at this age of his it's often boredom which plays a luxating role when things go wrong.
be nice to him...and when he does something wrong explain him in a friendly manner........not only tell him that soemthing is wrong but also tell him WHy it is wrong. :)
Yaar. We don’t get angry at him when he comes. He’s been out before for one nite but this is running on the third day now…
Nes. On Eid i spent hours trying to reason with him. When even my ammi got tired of him and left i still sat there trying to tell him that what he was doing wasnt helpiing him, why crime isnt good, why if he doesnt want to do anything in life then dont..but dont mess it up…i always tell him i love him probs every day so that he never feels unloved..and when hes come i TRY n tlak to him but hes a bit anti social lol..
Nothing works. I even told him how worried we all get about him, how much he hurts us by doing everything he does…he said..good..im gona ruin your life..
aisi stupid baatein karta hea yaar i dont know what to do with him..
DD dont worry abt it inshaAllah everything’ll be better soon
im sorry ure in this situation but u know most ppl in UK tend to be a bit rebellious at this age, even my cousin sister has to put up with it with her brother, he even got messed up with the police a few times (more than a few times actually) he used to run away from home and all sorts for days on end
but hes improved ok just minutely but its a start
just be constant and dont feel guilty at least he knows how u feel on the subject
BUT he took more money from ammi and said i’ll come home tomoz..
Nescio - He’s 16..Hobbies i guess swimming, football etc.. And at home computer and Discovery channel..His friends are sweethearts but always in trouble with the police.
Xara - Ta luvvy. Its nice to know he aint the only one..
I was real hopeful that this was the slow step to recovering himself from the street…
Thanks
hehe, basss nothing works.
I feel better..