Hun, I have encountered something along those lines with a Jewish coworker always making ridiculous comments about Muslims and Arab people. I think you DEFINITELY need to send out a detailed email and make sure you keep a copy. After he replies, you should forward your email as well as yours to the HR and involve them. This way if he ever starts 'picking' on you more afterwards or god forbid threatens your job in any way, you can file for harassment based on the exchange of emails. Goodluck.
I think documenting it is a good idea...I didnt think about the emails before I posted this thread because I thought it would be too impersonal but it makes sense.
What you said reminds me of something that happened earlier this year:
My boss has a boyfriend who works with us as well. (positively icky if you ask me) Well, earlier this year there was a corporate event that was attended by most of the company. I didnt go because I have no desire to see these people get silly with their alcohol. My friend went with her husband. My boss went with his boyfriend and has a reputation of being extremely flirty with the guys when he is out. He had a few drinks and got a little out of control with some guys there. Boyfriend got upset and started getting emotional…my friend felt bad and tried to console him. She gave him a hug and her husband saw this exchange from across the room. This guy is 6’4" and built like an ox. He walked across the room and grabbed boyfriend by the collar and started shaking him while demanding to know what “What the F were you tryint to pull with my wife???”. My friend is telling him to drop it because its not what it seems.
Boyfriend is so scared he goes white in the face and starts squealing:
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!!!”
It sounds like you work for a large company? Maybe you could stop by Human Resources and explain that you do not want to lodge a complaint but that your group or department really could use a half-day Sensitivity Training seminar. Many large corps do this as a matter of course anyway - and each employee MUST attend one of these each year.
Anyway, this would be an approach that should not ruffle anyones feathers and perhaps make your work life a bit less unpleasant.
Best advice so far! Talking to boss directly may create tension between both...That should be the last resort IMO.
PSquared - Email this boss of yours a very polite email, referring to the aforementioned incident, stating the date and time, and other people who were around.
Explain to your boss that you have construed his remarks to be offensive and do not understand why or think its fair that u were singled out in this way.
Further, mention that u have had a good working relationship with him so far but feel that it is deteriorating fast. Add that u do not have any negative attitude towards him etc etc.
To conclude, let him know that u do not expect to be on the receiving end of any more comments such as he has made in the past, and if there are any issues that he has with u, please can we resolve them in a meeting with the presence of a formal witness from HR.
If he has any further comments to make, u will indeed be referring this matter formally to HR.
CC the email to your private email address also for future reference.
This should definitley do the trick. Do not put up with nonsense like this from anyone. Trust me, when is starts as a joke, some ppl dont know where to stop and it can get nasty.
It sounds like you work for a large company? Maybe you could stop by Human Resources and explain that you do not want to lodge a complaint but that your group or department really could use a half-day Sensitivity Training seminar. Many large corps do this as a matter of course anyway - and each employee MUST attend one of these each year.
Anyway, this would be an approach that should not ruffle anyones feathers and perhaps make your work life a bit less unpleasant.
I think we could TOTALLY use this!!! Sensitivity Training seminars are a wonderful idea....I will suggest it because if any department needs it...ours does right now.
ahahha ook ok i have a crazy amount of gay friendz in skool lolzwe get along for some reason...maybe makeup n boy talk lolz but u neeed to SUE HIS BUTT RITE NOW :D so u cud make some ching ching wit out working for him :D
ahahha ook ok i have a crazy amount of gay friendz in skool lolzwe get along for some reason...maybe makeup n boy talk lolz but u neeed to SUE HIS BUTT RITE NOW :D so u cud make some ching ching wit out working for him :D
personally i feel people like this are actually sick.Really or i think now this thing has become a fashion or something. Cannot understand.
Such folks are impervious to better influences.
Anyways if you are not comfortable,and you have tried every funda but he is not changing his sick attitude, leave that job.
Looks like the discussion has gone in a different direction. Just for trivea, here's the verse from the Bible
"If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death; their blood is upon them."
Leviticus 20:13
Eventhough homosexuality is looked down upon in Islam, in the Sub-continent, and eventually Pakistan, laws against homsexuality were brought in by the British during the Raj. In many countries with a history of colonialism it was the Western elements who brought intolerance.
on the other hand, I've found most gay people in America to be quite allied for muslims who got persecued after 9/11 your boss seems to be an exception and particularly ignorant (there are a ignorant people in every community)
I spoke to my HR Director this morning about this. She said Im not the only one. Im scared of sending an email to him for some odd reason...I dont know why. I dont want him to start retaliating against me. He is so hormonal its ridiculous!
I spoke to my HR Director this morning about this. She said Im not the only one. Im scared of sending an email to him for some odd reason...I dont know why. I dont want him to start retaliating against me. He is so hormonal its ridiculous!
Agony aunt needs help donot worry main hoon na.
Donot get scared at all...Write him an insulting email.
Jab woh samne aaye ..say , what do you think main darti hoon tum gay se.forget it!
You will ask me to leave this job na , so what i will find another job.
psquared, hopefully the HR director will address the situation and it will resolve. Thats her job yeah? And its a problem not only for you...so now its HER problem to take care of. I really think that the sensitivity training for Mr twinkletoes could be a huge help here - I went to one of these and it was really amazing. IF the HR director suggested that you email him, I dont know...it might help but I'd keep it mild and light so that he'd not be able to take offense and retaliate. OR just talk to him - nothing in writing - with something like "Hey boss-man...if you lay off the Paki-bashing then I'll stop the gay-bashing that goes on behind your back". But really, it should all be in the HR persons realm now, not yours.
As far as some of the rest of the kind of off-topic replies....I have to say something because I find it so very disturbing how some people can be so intolerant that they resort to physical assault or wish death to those who are different from them - in the privacy of their bedrooms. Its no ones business what goes on in there beyond the participant(s). And it is SO against any and every religion to physically assault ANYONE who is not assaulting you. Leave the judging to God/Allah and worry about yourself. The cruelty I read in one or two posts here was just beyond heartbreaking. Judge not lest you be judged yeah?
Donot get scared at all...Write him an insulting email.
Jab woh samne aaye ..say , what do you think main darti hoon tum gay se.forget it!
You will ask me to leave this job na , so what i will find another job.
Boldo jo bolna hai...bas phir job chor do.
Jhakas hai na?
:)
Meri kuch samajh mein nahin araha hai...aap kya kehrahi hein? Jhakas kya hota hai? Agony aunt kaun hai? Darti kya hai?
