My Boss is Gay

Personally, I have friends from all walks of life. Ive got Indian, Pakistani, Caucasian, Black, Hispanics, etc. All kinds of friends! I dont care about sexual orientation, race, color, ethnicity, etc. I like people and even though Im shy when I first meet someone, I try to find reasons to like them.

And as much as I try to be accepting of these people, Ive got a problem:

My boss is gay. He is openly, proudly and flamboyantly gay. Even if you couldnt tell when you first met him, he will make sure you know in the following five minutes. He is an over-educated, well traveled and extremely cultured man as well. He’s been all over the world, including India and Pakistan. From a man like this, I would expect a certain amount of…lets say open-mindedness…if thats a word at all.

Last week, my colleagues and I were just taking a break and goofing off a bit as we had had an extremely busy day. He was walking by and noticed so decided to break us up…not a problem. He just walked up casually and reminded us of a few things we still had to turn in before we left. He made a few cracks at someone (he openly hits on the good-looking guys that work with us) and then turned to me and says: “You! You need to turn in your report! Im going to start playing that Middle-Eastern crap for you 5 times a day from now on to help you focus!” Now, he is laughing this entire time and obviously joking but I dont like this joke. I dont find it funny at all.

I just looked at him like I had no idea what he was talking about and said “What?”. He shut up and walked away laughing.

Secretly, Ive always sensed his animosity towards Islam (not myself) because we dont encourage homosexuality.

But I dont judge people according to their lifestyle and expect the same from them. We’ve had a pretty good relationship in the past and I dont want it to go down the tubes but this is unacceptable…at least to me it is.

I could ignore it, I could file a lawsuit against him, I could talk to him, etc.

What would you guys do?

Re: My Boss is Gay

Do nothing......cause you have no case other than confused understanding of a situation.

Re: My Boss is Gay

hehe
he is funny.

Re: My Boss is Gay

If he expects you to respect his in-your-face gayness...then he should show respect for YOU..he was totally out of line by bringing religion in context....
unnecessary and rude!!

talk to him..and if not...ignore it unless he brings it up again..
Islam? why islam?? christianity, i believe, does not encourage homosexuality either.

Re: My Boss is Gay

Tell him you don't swing that way

Thats how I feel...I just dont know how to approach it. This isnt the first time he has done it either. He makes references ALL the time in front of other people too! He has no fear.

I said Islam because Im Muslim...I dont know...I guess Im trying to figure out a reason for this attitude...

Im a GIRL

Re: My Boss is Gay

Well tell him if he is sooo informed and open...and educated.....blah blah...where does he stand on the religious beliefs of jews and christians who ALSO think homosexuality should be punishable by death..

Torah and Bible say.....
"You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a woman; it is a to'evah" (Leviticus 18:22). "A man who lies with a male as one lies with a woman; the two of them have done a to'evah; they shall be put to death; their bloodguilt is upon them."

He is just being as ignorant as any hee-haw from hicksville, texas.

Re: My Boss is Gay

Well, in that case tell him that you do. :)

On a serious note, you should have a one-to-one with him. Joke's about one's faith is never appropriate and having visited so many cultures, he should only know better. Don't worry about trying to figure out a reason. Some people will just be jerks.

If there has been a good relationship in the past, there have probably been times between now and then when you have allowed him (or he has allowed you) to engage in more freely conversations. Somehow he has presumed that it is alright for him to talk to you about anything even if it’s a bit inappropriate and disrespectful to your faith.

Re: My Boss is Gay

as your boss, he should be behaving more appropriately. i would say email him (so you have a written record) about how you found his comment inappropriate. if he disagrees or doesn't apologise and continues, then you have a case for your HR dept and its hopefully catalogued via email.

Re: My Boss is Gay

Go to your HR department and immediately report the incident. Also let him know that you're not comfortable with him openly hitting on the men in your area, this is no laughing matter. After you notify HR, consider sitting down with him as well and letting him know.

Re: My Boss is Gay

he is definitely not promoting a healthy....non-discriminative environment...and yes..as your boss...he will pay a heavy price for being a jack***
document all your conversations..THEN file your complaint.

Re: My Boss is Gay

pay me monies and ill beat him up for u

I was leaving today and usually I always stop by his office...its on the way...and holler a Bye. I didnt today.

Im just sick of this now...I want to put an end to it. I think I will talk to him. If I dnot, he will keep thinking it is okay to say these things.

And, I will start by sending that email...

Yeah, so email him to tell him I feel uncomfortable with his remarks and then should I ask him for a meeting as well?

Ohmigosh, you know how disgusting it is when he does that? He does it all the time and makes the nastiest comments to the men regardless of who is around the area. Since he is the VP of our entire department, no one feels they can stop him. Now he considers himself unstoppable.

But Monday morning, he is going down!

Re: My Boss is Gay

Hun, I have encountered something along those lines with a Jewish coworker always making ridiculous comments about Muslims and Arab people. I think you DEFINITELY need to send out a detailed email and make sure you keep a copy. After he replies, you should forward your email as well as yours to the HR and involve them. This way if he ever starts 'picking' on you more afterwards or god forbid threatens your job in any way, you can file for harassment based on the exchange of emails. Goodluck.

Re: My Boss is Gay

Well, I don't think we can just go breaking jaws and punching guts of people who turn us off for one reason or the other (serious or not). All in all, Psquared, an email first and then straight to the HR you go. Respect is the first and formost thing in any relationship (be it professional or personal) and you have to give it to receive it. That's all!

Re: My Boss is Gay

It's not okay to hurt/discriminate/act violently against people who are different from us. Islam preaches tolerance not force.

Re: My Boss is Gay

It sounds like you work for a large company? Maybe you could stop by Human Resources and explain that you do not want to lodge a complaint but that your group or department really could use a half-day Sensitivity Training seminar. Many large corps do this as a matter of course anyway - and each employee MUST attend one of these each year.

Anyway, this would be an approach that should not ruffle anyones feathers and perhaps make your work life a bit less unpleasant.