*My bestie has been engaged for 2 months now. Me, her & her fiance attend the same univ. *
*He’s friend with this indian girl. She’s actually his best friend. So some of the things that they talk about or share are totally understandable. BUT some of the things i’ve seen is over the limit. *
*I was at the library during closing times & was trying to hurry through the sections to get the book i came for. I heard some giggling but ignored it. As i was about to pass the romance section (how ironic) i slowed down since i recognized a voice. I peeked to confirm my beliefs & i was right. It was him with that indian chick. They were getting a little cozy. Then she goes “oh your so silly!” He laughed at that & as they were walking the other way he SMACKED HER BEHIND! *
*i wanted to tell my bestie but i don’t want to cause any problems. I know i should do something but my bestie isn’t the “comprehending” type. *
*Because a week before this incident took place something else happened. It was my bestie birthday & her fiance shows up 2 hours LATE! Of course it didn’t bother her as much since she got her gift. You see he’s really well off so he bought her a lap top which has blinded her & she refuses to see any faults in him. Later I found out that the reason he was late because THAT SAME DAY WAS that indian girl’s b-day! so he was at her place. *
*She wants to marry off rich & she’s just happy since he’s showering her with money. The reason he’s marrying her since its an arrange alliance & he’s being a good boy by respecting his parents decision. *
*What pushed me over the edge is what i saw last night. Bunch of friends got together last night & we had a bon fire. Everything was good until someone put the music on. Mostly everyone started dancing & him & that indian girl once again got REALLY cozy. My bestie showed up late so once again missed it! *
*Mostly everyone knows they’re engaged but nobody says anything!!! so im thinking they’re cool with it… *
But now i think about it i don’t even think she cares! im just trying to save her from spending her life with someone who isn’t even interested in her! he ignores her calls & always has excuses for EVERYTHING. I love her & i don’t want her to regret this…
How do you guys treat your besties of opposite gender? I mean when is there a limit? what is acceptable & what isn’t??? maybe i’m being over dramatic… i don’t know
LOL I had a best friend in university. His name was A. Me and him were really close in university. He added my actual ex best friend from my facebook page and they got talking etc. 4 days later A told me ex best friend that he loves her etc etc. 6 months later both of them told me that they do not want to talk to me etc and they are removing me from their facebook MSN etc.
LOL I had a best friend in university. His name was A. Me and him were really close in university. He added my actual ex best friend from my facebook page and they got talking etc. 4 days later A told me ex best friend that he loves her etc etc. 6 months later both of them told me that they do not want to talk to me etc and they are removing me from their facebook MSN etc.
What jerks and freaks.
hahaha...true that! thats so mean of them. so whatever happen to them? are they married?
LOL I have no idea but they did istakhara and everything and it was on their mind. I was so heartbroken when it actually happened but now I just think about it and laugh it off. Good thing Allah saved me from those freaks lol
shadowless if ur guts say theres something wrong going on, chances are that there is. i would tell my friend and leave it upto her to decide. girls can be so stupid when it comes to money, its very likely that she already knows all this. just speak to her.
I would just drop it in a convo, not like pointing fingers and accusing him, but more of a 'oh did you know' type thing. Sometimes guys cant draw clear lines between friendships and relationships especially in uni. try talking to her, or him even. but in a nice way, not in 'crazy psycho best friend' mode (that does notttt go down well).
I know a girl who married a guy that was openly cheating on her throughout their engagement period and even after marriage. She knew and still married him because she loved him and wanted to be with him...even if it meant degrading herself. Hello, what about STDs? I tried to talk to her about it but then I stopped...why bother? If she knows he isnt into her then its her life and you should let her deal with it. Some lessons cant be taught by a conversation...experience is the best teacher.
i think you should tell her everything ...she probably has no clue this is going on and i don't think she should be kept in the dark about this . Looks like money is really important to her but no girl can take the fact that her man is having intimate moments with another girl
Firstly its your friendship. In my opinion friendship is based on trust and doing for yourself what you would want for them, i.e keeping their best interest at heart. Especially since she's ur bestie.
Now i dont know what kind of relationship you do have with her but you should definatly highlight the point about her fiance being too close to the indian girl. Dropping it into conversation is probably your safest bet. Create a situation. What me and my friend often do is create situation where we would be like "what if you were in this situation" and through this weve spoken about evrything, from pet hates to domestic abuse. That way you will understand what she wants from her guy.
Another approach you can use is to talk to her straight. Sit her down and say "look, your my best friend and i see you as my sister. I would only want whats best for you and would want to make sure u 100% know what your getting into" Voice your concerns and make sure you do it when both of you have PLENTY of time to talk things through and that you wont be disturbed. I would stay away from the money issue though, dont make it out as if your targetting her otherwise she may turn defensive and shut you out.
Either way its a delicate situation but if you truly love your friend you would do wht you can to protect her. If my friend was getting together with someone i didnt approve of i would TELL her but also mention that if that is her decision then im willing to accept it and move on and support her with what she decides. Highlight the point that you will respect her decision bcoz there could be the possibility that you are unaware of what their relationship is really like between them both. I often say you dont know what goes on behind closed doors
Firstly its your friendship. In my opinion friendship is based on trust and doing for yourself what you would want for them, i.e keeping their best interest at heart. Especially since she's ur bestie.
Now i dont know what kind of relationship you do have with her but you should definatly highlight the point about her fiance being too close to the indian girl. Dropping it into conversation is probably your safest bet. Create a situation. What me and my friend often do is create situation where we would be like "what if you were in this situation" and through this weve spoken about evrything, from pet hates to domestic abuse. That way you will understand what she wants from her guy.
Another approach you can use is to talk to her straight. Sit her down and say "look, your my best friend and i see you as my sister. I would only want whats best for you and would want to make sure u 100% know what your getting into" Voice your concerns and make sure you do it when both of you have PLENTY of time to talk things through and that you wont be disturbed. I would stay away from the money issue though, dont make it out as if your targetting her otherwise she may turn defensive and shut you out.
Either way its a delicate situation but if you truly love your friend you would do wht you can to protect her. If my friend was getting together with someone i didnt approve of i would TELL her but also mention that if that is her decision then im willing to accept it and move on and support her with what she decides. Highlight the point that you will respect her decision bcoz there could be the possibility that you are unaware of what their relationship is really like between them both. I often say you dont know what goes on behind closed doors
Good Luck!!
hey faari thanks, i followed your advice. i went over to her place today & voiced my concern. things actually turned ugly since we're no longer talking. she said that i'm just jealous & that i should stay out of her business. i told her everything & she said why didn't i bring this up when it happened? so now im left defending myself.
i never brought up the money issue because i didn't want things to get any worse.
my mom saw me down & i told her what had happened. my mom told me i should've stayed out of this all together because some girls like to learn things the hard way. now i lost a sister, a friend.
It's her loss! Clearly she has her priorities wrong. She is marrying him solely for the money and he doesn't respect her at all! How can she put up with such behaviour? It's so degrading. She is in for a wake-up call once they're married! Their marriage will consist of three people and three in a marriage is always a crowd!
You cleared your conscience by leting her know everything. Now you don't have to feel guilty. Let her learn her lesson on her own. She will eventually realize what a fool she has been!
