Hey people,
I ve seen whole bunch of people starting threads about something serious going on in their life but people end up making jokes and all so I would really appreciate only serious comments/suggestions.
Ever since I was a lil girl I would only get along with boys cause none of my interests were girly so all my friends are guys excepy this one girl who is my best best friend!!! She was supposed to get married this month to a guy she had been with for 3 years but 2 months back, out of nowhere she called me and told me things between her and the guy are over and that he cheated on her and all that and that she doesnt wanna talk about it and the wedding’s off. I was like alrite, as long as you re sure about what you’re doin all’s well.
After about 2 weeks she she told me that she started gymming with the guy’s best friend (they were also friends cause this guy was like a brother to the guy she was marrying) and he asked her to marry him and that he’s sending his parents over and that she’s gonna go for it. I asked her to give it time cause this was pretty weird cause nobody can get over a relationship that long and that too when wedding preps are goin on and families are involved … and decide to marry someone else this fasttt!!!
She said she was sure and then wedding preps started again and they finally got married. Oh one more thing you guys need to know is that this guy was in school with us waaayy back when we were in the 8th grade but we never talked to him all that much.. just a passing hello kinda thing.
Around 1 week after the wedding she called me up saying let's meet up I'm so sick of going to dinners and all I just wanna hang out and talk so I asked her to come over... a lil later her hubby called who was just getting out of gym and was like both of you come and we'll go somewhere and eat .. I said na you come over and we'll eat at home so he came and things between then were kinda weird .. everybody at my place felt it. They had this cold war kinda thing goin on and it was disturbing cause I thought they'd be all over each other and I expected to see my friend happy as she has honestly been through a lot .. she lost both her parents and her grandma and she's had a hard life.
So anyways, now when dinner was served my mom asked us to come downstairs and eat and as we were getting out of my room her hubby asked me to stay back as he wanted to talk to me and my friend was like you guys talk I'm gonna go eat. so he asks me to sit next to him and then said of something was to happen between us nobody needs to know and I cracked up and took it as a joke and then he's like Im serious go lock the door and your guy doesnt need to know and my wife doesnt need to know and who will tell them? Nobody will find out!! I was in shock!! I have so many guy friends that I know when a guy aint joking and being serious.... so anyways I was like let's go eat your and started cracking jokes and left the room. After dinner we went out to get ice cream and we were talking about general stuff when stuff about marriage and relationships came up and my friend looked at her hubby and said yeah guys do strange things they leave the house saying one thing when actually they re doing something else and all that and she was staring at him throughout and then he said I dont wanna talk about this as this makes me uncomfortable. At this point I realized maybe she found out something about him after they got married and she is in a weird place and doesnt know how to tell anyone cause it had only been a week.
and then on our way home the strangest thing happened he kept insisting that I go home with them for the night and stay and all that and I was like you guys just got married I ll go with you after a few weeks and then my friend said to me you and my hubby are freaks you took pictures on teh wedding grabbing each others butt .. and I was like wow woman what you talking about?? and she looked at her hubby and said that's what he told me that you grabbed him and took a pic and then he started laughing about it and said I was just joking. My friend and I are very close and even if I had done that she wouldnt have said a thing cause that's how we are.. that's how much we trust each other!
I realized that before coming on to him the guy had already laid down the butt grabbing story infront of her so iincase I go tell her what he did he could go look I told you she did that and Im innocent and all. After that I found out that the guy she was supposed to get married to called one of our common friends and said that this guy was like a brothjer to me and nobody knows him better than I do and this marriage wont last cause he is an bas ... tardo and he does all these shady things!!
THE QUESTION HERE IS THAT DO I TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED OR DO I STAY SHUT AND AVOID THE FREAKY HUSBAND? DONT THINK ABOUT BEING RIGHT AND WRONG THINK KEEPING IN MIND WHAT IF IT WERE YOU AND THE RISK OF LOSING YOUR FRIEND AND YOU BEING MISTAKEN FOR A LIAR WAS INVOLVED!!! I'M LOSTTT!!
Seriously never stay alone with the friends hubby in any circumstances. I mean the guy sounds like a total creep. You know if you are close to your mum or a auntie tell them first and see how it goes. I am saying this because the guy is already trying to insinuate that something is going on. If you tell your friend her husband might say that you advanced on him and he turned you down now you are getting revenge. Then they might spread the tale saying so and so is ................. I would cut contact off slowly start by saying your sick, busy with work/ study/ exam stress etc and stay away. Some things you just are not meant to get involved in and this is one of them.
I told my mom already and that's what she said, thankss I appreciate it! I still cant get over what she has gotten herself into and how she'll deal with it all cause I for sure dont want to be the one to tell her all this. I'm staying away for sure!!
The last thing you wanna do is get blamed for cheap acts which this friendship/relationship seems to be steering towards. Today he openly told you he wants to get on with you, there's nothing left for him to even say anymore. You need to cut off all ties with them because god forbid if anything else happens, it seems as if you will get blamed for not only coming onto him but also ruining their marriage (which you're not doing, we know). The husband is a world class pervert so let the wife deal with it.. it seems as if she's already clued into what he does so it won't take long before she finds out everything. Meanwhile, distance yourself slowly and totally cut off contacts until SHE comes to you after realizing what a jerk this guy is.
Trust me your friend has already started to see her husbands true colours. So you have nothing to worry about. If she does split up with him then be there for her in her time of need that is all you can do.
It doesnt matter what the scenaro is, NEVER EVER EVER stay alone with ANYONE else's husband no matter what. It doesnt matter if its your own blood sister. Its not that your sister wont trust you, its simply that you dnt know the men that marry sisters and friends that well.
This is bad but I would stay away frm the both of them. They obviously are having prblms they need to resolve on their own. You can hang out with your girlfriend once in a while but slowly cut off contact and NEVER interact with her husband again. Make it clear you dnt appreciate being accused of such indecency and have no interest in their wierd little world.
Your friend needs to realize there is absolutely no relationship, attraction, etc between you and her husband and that she was wrong to accuse you. Leave her alone and she will eventually come to her senses.
now that i've recovered from teh shock--i agree with most everyone else, just stay away from them both and you don't need to tell her anything. i hope she will come to her senses eventually, judging by what you have said, she's not in an easy position either. She was with someone for 3 years, a broken engagement, and a subsequent fast courtship and now the guy is a creep, she probably realizes she's stuck now....very sad situation for her. You're better off just staying away, because you really dont want to be blamed for anything later on....and i hate to tell u, if she decides to stick it out, you might have to face the reality that you will lose her as a friend..
Unfreakingbelievable. What has this world come to!?
I guess people here have given you quite good advice, I'll just take it one step further and say there is NO need to be courteous, friendly or diplomatic anymore. Hell with this friendship and to hell with your friend's husband. Tell them off and cut off ties ASAP. This is absolutely disgusting. Save yourself from this kind of third-class behaviour - tell them straight up you want nothing to do with both of them. Your friend's husband can explain to his wife why.
oh boy! i share everyone's sentiments here. i 2 am v shocked! she made a hude mistake by gettin married to her ex's friend at that too so suddenly. i guess she was just hurt and pissed at her ex and thought a rebound relationship wud help her heal her pain and teach the ex some lesson! but i will tell u somethin, pls dun b offended, u shudnt have even stayed back to talk to him. when ur friend said i m goin to have dinner, u both should have gone too rather than stayin back. i know she trusts u and stuff, but still it wasnta gud idea. second thing that u did wrong is, when he was sayin those creepy stuff (which i think he wanted to have 'this' relationship with u and no one will know abt it...) u shud have not taken it lightly... that was the best time to give him a nice lecture so that he dusnt dare to do it again! sometimes ignoring is not the best way to deal with a problem. anyway, stay away from them and pls pls tell ur friend... otherwise he will continue cookin up stories abt u too... God forbid he may even say u were all over him!
wow tacky situation, like others say, dont be ever alone with him!! some men are weirdos and he is one of the kind.
I think thats why ur friend left her first boy friend, the one she was together for 3 years as this one had an affair with her and then she had to let the ex go and marry the current one.
and with the guy’s best friend! a clear indicator.