MashaAllah my baby is turning one year very soon. I had planned a family event to celbrate the big day with my family who lives in another country and with my inlaws and a few other close friends and family members. But my FIL TOLD me not to invite my family and not to have any event due to my MIL.
She misbehaves with almost everyone she dislikes and I do understand FILs concerns that she will ruin the party. However I am feeling utterly sad, frustrated, powerless and so much more that I cant even celebrate my firstborns first birthday. Over the year I have bought small items to be used on his birthday like decoration items and other stuff.
The same thing happened when he was born and FIL told relatives not to come. My family doesnt live here so it means a lot if hubby’s side of the family comes or not but they were told not to come and everyone knows that MIL would misbehave with them.
I understand their concerns. am just frustrated that now FILs and MILs lousy marriage problems are effecting MY baby!!! and yes I know that we are part of a family and a system and therefore effected but its just not fair!!!
^I highly doubt she's paying for their air fare. It's kind of like sending a courtesy wedding invitation to relos who live abroad even though you know that they aren't likely to come.
Chameli, why dont you delay the b-day party for a while and buy tickets for pak and celebrate it with your family with all the decorations and food etc?
You should do whatever you want. It's your celebration so you can celebrate your joy however you want. It's up to you whom you like to invite and it's up to the invited people if they want to come or not.... Just enjoyyy the 1st birthday of your kid! Happy birthday in advance!!
Will not having a birthday party keep her from doing that? I mean will she talk bad in front of anyone, anytime? If so, then canceling your child's birthday party is not going to sol e anything. And people are aware of her karva disposition anyway, then her behavior should not reflect badly on anyone but herself.
Don't let petty family politics infringe on you and your husband's joys of first time parenthood.
How about you first find out who from the two families will be able to even attend a birthday party. I don't know many people who would jet over from another country for a bday party...even if it is for a close/dear family member.
After finding that out......is it possible for you to arrange TWO separate events? That will allow you to invite the people on separate days so they don't kill each other. You say that you've been planning this special day for ages.....so surely you can make some adjustments.
Chameli, why dont you delay the b-day party for a while and buy tickets for pak and celebrate it with your family with all the decorations and food etc?
my family doesnt live in Paksitan. They live in our neigboring country so flight costs are very low both ways.
I have always travelled for their happenings and this time I wanted them to come and celebrate with us. here in our hometown. I just feel that FIL is being over sensitive and eventhough he makes a huge deal of the fact that "aap ki marzi" he still manages to determine things like having a birthday party or not, how my baby should have a hiarcut depite the fact that I had said I dont want that hairstyle, hitting my baby when I say please dont do so and a few other things.
He is a nice old man who is here to help but in between things are not so helpful from his side and this VETO decision of the party program was def. not an "aap ki marzi" thing...
Will not having a birthday party keep her from doing that? I mean will she talk bad in front of anyone, anytime? If so, then canceling your child's birthday party is not going to sol e anything. And people are aware of her karva disposition anyway, then her behavior should not reflect badly on anyone but herself.
Don't let petty family politics infringe on you and your husband's joys of first time parenthood.
She would do it anyway at anytime. When MIL's SIL lost her husband MIL gave her dead husband a suit as a gift. I mean who does that? she is not sane!!everyone knows her nature....
due to her nature I have been squeezed into a lonely bubble where I miss having a family around to celebrate the joys with!!!
How about you first find out who from the two families will be able to even attend a birthday party. I don't know many people who would jet over from another country for a bday party...even if it is for a close/dear family member.
After finding that out......is it possible for you to arrange TWO separate events? That will allow you to invite the people on separate days so they don't kill each other. You say that you've been planning this special day for ages.....so surely you can make some adjustments.
A few of my siblings are ready to fly over and theirs kids are so happy to come over and have fun here!! My parents wont be able to make it but still it means a lot to me that my sisters might come over if I invite them!!!
Just do two separate events. Either on different days...or the same day but at different times....maybe a birthday lunch n a birthday dinner, i dunno. You'll figure something out with your husband. I've seen people host separate dawats because the social circles are different.
