Re: My 13 year old daughter wants to go for a sleepover.
Heera: I'm curious about 2 things.
1) What would be your reaction IF she wanted to go to a sleepver at another Muslim's house? Not sure if your daughter has any Muslim friends but for the sake of the discussion, would you be ok with her going if the friend inviting her was Muslim also?
2) Are you willing to host a sleepover at YOUR house if you daughter wanted to invite her friends there?
As for me: I never got invited to a sleepver so didn't have to deal with it. I had 2 other Muslim friends who dealt with this though. 1 of them....her parents would allow it if they knew the friend's parents really well. The 2nd friend, her parents never allowed her to go BUT they allowed her to host sleepover at their house.
I don't have kids right now but if/when I do, I'd be ok with them having sleepovers at our house. And if they're 13 and older, I would be ok with them going ONLY if we (hubby and I) are also really good friends with their friend's parents too.
Re: My 13 year old daughter wants to go for a sleepover.
The way I see it, religion and food has nothing to do with it. You don't know who is in that house. It's a safety issue. Anybody can come in the middle of the night and assault your child. What if there is a brother? What if the brother's friends are there? There are a million potential scenarios.
Why don't you tell her that she can go to the party, but you will pick her up at 9:00 p.m. and then drop her back in the morning so she can have breakfast with her friends?
Re: My 13 year old daughter wants to go for a sleepover.
Heera: I'm curious about 2 things.
1) What would be your reaction IF she wanted to go to a sleepver at another Muslim's house? Not sure if your daughter has any Muslim friends but for the sake of the discussion, would you be ok with her going if the friend inviting her was Muslim also?
2) Are you willing to host a sleepover at YOUR house if you daughter wanted to invite her friends there?
As for me: I never got invited to a sleepver so didn't have to deal with it. I had 2 other Muslim friends who dealt with this though. 1 of them....her parents would allow it if they knew the friend's parents really well. The 2nd friend, her parents never allowed her to go BUT they allowed her to host sleepover at their house.
I don't have kids right now but if/when I do, I'd be ok with them having sleepovers at our house. And if they're 13 and older, I would be ok with them going ONLY if we (hubby and I) are also really good friends with their friend's parents too.
I have agreed to my daughter having a s/o at my house and I have also agreed to her having a s/o at her Muslim mate as I know her mum.
Re: My 13 year old daughter wants to go for a sleepover.
The way I see it, religion and food has nothing to do with it. You don't know who is in that house. It's a safety issue. Anybody can come in the middle of the night and assault your child. What if there is a brother? What if the brother's friends are there? There are a million potential scenarios.
Why don't you tell her that she can go to the party, but you will pick her up at 9:00 p.m. and then drop her back in the morning so she can have breakfast with her friends?
This is not practical as I don't have a car, she lives quite a bit away and I have three other young children to consider.
Re: My 13 year old daughter wants to go for a sleepover.
you are talking about sleepover…
we were not even allowed to play at someone else’s place…
my mother used to say whom ever you want tyo play with bring them here at our home and play… @OP you can teach her about kafirs but can you guarantee that your daughter will not misuse that term when with friends…
Re: My 13 year old daughter wants to go for a sleepover.
I was never allowed to sleep over......not even at our Muslim friends' homes.
As many have said above....this was a house rule....everyone came back home to sleep.....no matter how late we stayed out.
The same will apply to my child iA.
And never was there any conversation about what is "wrong with the other people"....it was always about what is "right for us".
Re: My 13 year old daughter wants to go for a sleepover.
if the kids have good friends and their families are responsible and decent families...there is no harm in kidds sleeping over. we are pretty conservative but my nieces and nephew was always allowed to sleepover at a friends house whom we knew to be responsible and decent people.
Re: My 13 year old daughter wants to go for a sleepover.
lol actually my parents were the same as ninja's. was never allowed a sleepover anywhere (muslim or not), and very rarely went to someone else's house. my mother preferred my friends to come to our place.
my sister is 7 years younger than me. by that time my mum had mellowed out and I don't think she had the stamina to argue. she let my sister go to a bday party at a friend's house. i never liked that friend anyway and i was totally against it. anyway, i went to pick her up and dad and older brother were some too and outside near the bins there was a crate full of empty beer bottles. no doubt they were drinking then too as they see nothing wrong with drinking any time.
Re: My 13 year old daughter wants to go for a sleepover.
I was never allowed to sleep over at muslims friends houses either.
I was lucky as in my community we had a VERY small but lovely pakistani community and 5 girls grew up together and I was allowed to play at their house but never even allowed to sleep over at their house!
Re: My 13 year old daughter wants to go for a sleepover.
I also agree that your reasoning is a bit harsh for a 13 year old to understand. Why don't you tell her that you trust her but you don't trust other people. Who lives in that house, who visits them, you don't know and wouldn't put her in any non-safe situtation. You really don't have to teach hatred, they are kafir, na-paak. See the thing is she will understand how we are different from them when she grow up a bit.
I didn't even care about going to proms and sleep overs and all that because by certain age, I knew that I come from a different envoirnment from other kids and I truly loved our culture, religion and my parents rules. When I was younger I just didn't understand all this but my mom never used kafir, naa-paak for other people. She engaged us in activities we liked doing together. There are so many activites in Masjid she couuld be part of. My local Masjid is hosting a youth day .. all day. Lunch, dinner activities everything... And I was just on their page... as many as 800 youth are invitied.
Re: My 13 year old daughter wants to go for a sleepover.
Just say no. You dont need to provide any reason. At this point of age, spending night time with friends is fazool idea. However, I will encourage you to allow her to visit during day time for couple of hours.
Re: My 13 year old daughter wants to go for a sleepover.
as far as I know reasonings and justifications only lead to a heated debate as well as frustration and anger from the teenagers side. For this age, rationality is very subjective esp when it comes to friends and hangouts. A stern 'no, that's against our rules' as stoppit and inspi have already said should suffice IMO.
For there could be a lot of times when you cannot come up with justifications to all the counter-arguments about going to sleep overs, late night parties, overnight trips, prom etc.
Re: My 13 year old daughter wants to go for a sleepover.
I wasnt even allowed to play at others house, heck my mum till date doesnt want us visiting people at their home. Going to mall or for coffee is just about "ok" .. Sleeping over to door ki baat thi
