The Muslim Marriage Crisis - MuslimMatters.org
I’m not the only one that has been making the above observations. The evidence at matrimonial events is baffling.
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
Self created crisis by the community, families and candidates all playing a role in it.
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
Long checklists from both girls and boys (or their parents) and narrow ethnic/nationality criteria are the two biggest contributors.
My blood boils when someone tells me "aray koi rishta ho tu bataeyee ga hamari baite k leyee umer niklee ja rahi hai....liken jut brotherEE ka hona cheheye" ya "main tu biharioon main hee karoon gi iss ki shadi...bari pareshani hai aaj kal"
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
You could go to Pakistan and pick a guy of your choice from any pind.
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
I know the process isn't easy but the crisis is also created by us.
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
Well does this crisis even exist in the first place?
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
Yes, there is a crisis, and yes it exists even in Pakistan, infact more so where people taunt you more for not getting married.
Long checklists from both girls and boys (or their parents) and narrow ethnic/nationality criteria are the two biggest contributors.
My blood boils when someone tells me "aray koi rishta ho tu bataeyee ga hamari baite k leyee umer niklee ja rahi hai....liken jut brotherEE ka hona cheheye" ya "main tu biharioon main hee karoon gi iss ki shadi...bari pareshani hai aaj kal"
Or, Bihari aur Punjabi se nahin- sirf Urdu speaking aur woh bhi Syed! :D
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
oh yeah. Hum lerki ghair sayadOOn main nahi daitey. Sari zindagi ghar bitha ker rakheen gai per :nono: to ghair syed
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
Well does this crisis even exist in the first place?
Yes it does but you have to be realistic:
Women have their head in the clouds - I deserve everything and nothing less. I haven't done a thing to earn it but I definitely deserve it so just hand it all to me on a silver platter please.
Families have their head in the clouds - We deserve everything and nothing less.
Men have their head in the clouds - I deserve Katrina Kaif...chahay mein kaisa bhi lagoon.
Men's families have their heads in the clouds - We want to get paid for raising our son.
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
Behenji, did you write that article?
I have to agree with D6c and X2.
The problems are entirely self created. Coupled with the exceedingly narrow minded checklist, the sort youd find in from some jaahil people back home.
Its true there are more ladies who are single but I find the ladies are a lot pickier too. I see many girls reject guys for reasons which are insanely frivelous and silly. Its not just girls. Parents have some stupid requests now too.
To illustrate, here are some examples of rejections girls have made that I know of;
-boy is not a doctor
-boy's dad drives a taxi even though boy has a good position
-his sister is still unmarried
-we can only marry from our caste
-we only marry in the affluent
-too tall/short/fat/thin
-we dont marry shia (never heard a shia say this about a sunni, but thats a different issue)
-they dont own their own business
I dont consider a single issue listed above to be an important factor when considering a life partner. Many families would have them all.
What people fail to realise is that its completely fine to have expectations but you are not in pakistan anymore. There arent enough pakistanis around for there still to be many left after options have been culled out for trivial requirements.
But if theres one thing our people do better than anyone else, is complain.
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
if men and women are looking for a 'perfect', 'most compatible', 'financially established', 'most romantic', 'most handsome/beautiful partner', 'no MILs, FILs, BILs,SILs' are just too many variables and too many qualities to be found in one man or one woman. it's impossible.
the best thing is to fashion and shape the diamond from it's crude form. marriage is not a bed of roses...roses come with thorns, you have to cut them off to get the 'rose without thorns'.
everyone needs to grow up and be rational.
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
Have you guys read the comments under this article. That's where the real drama is. A lot of mud slinging and men bashing :)
Seems like eventually Polygamy gonna solve this issue. Though it's not a western idea but come on we do go to halal restaurants too.
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
^Going by the replies of the some of the female posters somehow I don't think it will lol.. Doesn't it take a happy wife to make polygny successful as well after all? Polygyny leads to more marriages but often more divorces as well (going by official stats).. I don't think it's a realistic solution if there really isn't a "shortage" of men anyway and it tends to come with its own set of issues (2 homes, 2 sets of kids to feed, how many men can afford that and are fair in terms of time spent with each family and general treatment?).. If done correctly I don't have a problem with it (before anyone thinks I do)
There are plenty of good Muslim men in the world but if you want a specific race or caste or whatever else and that isn't available you really need to adjust your (or your parents) wants and expectations..
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
^ Why do you have a problem with polygamy?
Polygamy is not going to solve jack. We don't have some major shortage of males.
We also read about men who are having challenges finding someone, so polygamy is going to make the situation even more difficult for them. Maybe have Polyandry as a component too then.
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
Polygamy is not going to solve jack. We don't have some major shortage of males.
We also read about men who are having challenges finding someone, so polygamy is going to make the situation even more difficult for them.
Thank you!
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
Have you guys read the comments under this article. That's where the real drama is. A lot of mud slinging and men bashing :)
Seems like eventually Polygamy gonna solve this issue. Though it's not a western idea but come on we do go to halal restaurants too.
Right now there are more men than women in Pakistan at least so unless we're going to start marrying off men with other men... Yeah.
Re: Muslim Marriage Crisis: MuslimMatters
Well what I find funny is that if there are 100-200 women that show up at an event like ISNA, and the accusation is that many of the guys there are first year immigrants, causing difficulty in the genders even relating to each other...then is there any investigation into these families as to what is going on with the boys in THEIR families?
Like if 100 girls show up at a networking dinner, I'd like families to be interviewed as to what's going on with the girls' brothers, and get an idea of why their 100 brother counterparts didn't show up.
I don't buy that all these families only birthed girls and never put a boy in the world.