Multiple Wives

Lifestyle Relationships
1

What are your thoughts on a man Islamically having more than one wife? And can anyone explain the guidelines… like how do you deal with that? under what circumstances can a man marry multiple women? can he marry two cousins? and how do they register for marriage in the US? I look forward to reading all your thoughts :slight_smile:

2

Re: Multiple Wives

You can go to Denmark, not in US it is not allowed.

3

Re: Multiple Wives

I know someone who recently married two girls, and he did Islami nikkah in America so Im assuming when he does the rukshati in paksitan he will probably only legally marry the first wife in America... right>?

4

Re: Multiple Wives

WELL…this is supposed to be 2 different questions…
Q1) What are your thoughts on a man having more than one wife?
**A1) depends…is the ealier wife sick..or something like tht..some extraordinary situation…then yea..it is okee…but if tht is not the case…then **NO…why shouldn’t one wife be enough for him…& if he wants another wife..then the least he can do is consult his 1st wife…
Q2)What are the Islamic rules for a man having more than one wife?
A2) islamically 4 wives are allowed as long as he treats each wife equally…he is obliged to treat them equally…

yes he can marry two cousins…
reminds me of something i heard abt 1 week ago…
there was a guy who did one nikah to his cousin(mom’s side) in the zuhar…& then did another nikaah to another cousin (dad’s side)in the maghrib…on the same day:cb:…so as to please both his parents…& then when the girls came to know this…both left him…now i donno how far this is true…it could just be a made-up story…but this sort of thing is not impossible for the saudis…

5

Re: Multiple Wives

where not allowed many have 2nd wives only on nikkah. which to me is against law of the land - and we are asked by ISlam to abide by the law of the land. so sinister that we have to use Islam as a tool to complete such dreams.
I think such people should move to where it is allowed.

6

Re: Multiple Wives

This purpose of multiple wives "Islaamically" was to protect and assist women. In those days, women did not work and were in danger should they set foot out of their houses (hence Hijaab). When widowed, women had no income and no ability to feed their family. So having a husband take on these women as second or third wives was truly a blessing. This is how it was MEANT to be (note there are many other scenarios such as wife 1 cannot conceive, wife 1 becomes too ill to serve the family etc etc). I've not seen these scenarios in practice, I've only seen horny old men who got a gal "in trouble" and married her, thus causing much heartache within the original family. Sorry, doesnt work unless it IS as it WAS INTENDED.

But be aware, it is illegal in the US. The first wife is "legal" and has rights if something should happen to the husband....she will be cared for and can legally inherit. A second wife has no legal rights whatsoever and would not be recognized as a family member. A "polygamist" in the US can end up in jail, thats the law here.

7

Re: Multiple Wives

^^^ good advice, that will teach 'em.

8

Re: Multiple Wives

The guidelines that I'm aware of is that a man can marry more than one wife if he has the means to support them. That and he has to treat them equally. My thoughts are that I wouldn't do it myself, but I don't have anything against anyone who feels he is capable of fulfilling the requirements.

[quote]
can he marry two cousins?

[/quote]

Yes. He can't marry two sisters, but that restriction is not there with two cousins.

[quote]

and how do they register for marriage in the US? I look forward to reading all your thoughts :)
[/quote]

I'm not sure how it works in the US. Here in Canada I know of a couple of people who are married to more than one woman. The way it works is that one is recognized as your wife legally and what not. As for the other(s), what you choose to do in your time is your business. So though that marriage may not be recognized under Canadian law, it is under Shariah, and therefore there is nothing wrong with it.

9

Re: Multiple Wives

i mean mother F... how can people still talk about getting married twice...

my hubby even dreams of a second i promise you his head will be split in half...

hum jab muhabat karte hain to inteha ke aur nafrat bhi inteha ki karte hain...

10

Re: Multiple Wives

my thoughts exactly :)

if he wants to marry another woman, he can go marry how ever many he wants BUT not with me around. i don't have the patience or the strength to share my husband.

11

Re: Multiple Wives

Unbelievable as it is though it happens a lot in the USA, only they are called mistresses or girl friends, worse than second class status. so atleast in Muslim countries if the man can afford it they and the children are part of the same family and not outcasts and or branded as "*Illegitimate children".*

**Which is fair you decide?...:) **

12

Re: Multiple Wives

well if he has kids with a woman that he is not legally married to in US those kids would be considered illegitimate.

mistresses and girlfriends exist in pak as well, and speaking of muslims countries arab men force themselves on or pay their philipino maids for favors as well.

which is fair? niether.

why would some woman want to marry a guy and not have legal rights such as inheritence, her kids would not have the same standing, and nowhere can the officially state that their parents were married, nikahnama is not a legal document.

13

Re: Multiple Wives

Why does it have to be a choice between having a mistress or having a second wife? Most muslim men manage to stick to one wife without having any affairs or mistresses. Obviously, its not that hard to be monogamous.

You might want to read up on Islam a bit. Taking on a second wife is not the way you halaalify having a mistress. If you want a mistress, then your heart is in the wrong place and you've already done adultery with your eyes and your thoughts. A gunnah to begin with. Now if you're going to solve this gunnah by marrying the second woman you've cast your eyes on, then you're a flat out retard and deserve to be divorced. And hence why Allah gives that right to any woman - no woman need be in a polygamous relationship, if she is unhappy with it. Evidenced by the Prophet's discouragement of Ali (R) of marrying a second time since Fatima (R) was unhappy with that choice. :)

14

Re: Multiple Wives

i would never be able to share my partner, even though i love him immensely i would rather live without him.

15

Re: Multiple Wives

"halaalify" <--- hilarious!!

Happy Halloweeennnn
16

Re: Multiple Wives

Every time there's a "second wife" thread, the guys bring up the fact of "mistresses" in the west. ok. lets take a closer look.

If you have a mistress whether youre eastern or western, its sinful and its heartbreaking if the wife finds out. It breaks up families so the guys go "on the sneak". Its wrong, wrong, wrong.

When a guy gets a second wife, he is SUPPOSED to have the approval of the first wife and its is SUPPOSED to be for charitable reasons - ie., the woman is widowed, the first wife is barren, first wife becomes ill, second wife is in need of a husband to take care of her.

Does this happen in practice? Not that I've ever heard of. ALL of the men I know that have more than one wife have them because they got her pregnant or they lusted after her. And while the first wives "agreed" to it, I dont beleive they had all too much of a choice and not a one of them is happy about it. Rather, they are heartbroken and stuck in a marriage that holds nothing for them but sorrow and yeah, food on the table.

17

Re: Multiple Wives

In Islam, a guy is not supposed to have the approval of the first wife.

18

Re: Multiple Wives

r allowed case closed ..who cares what wife has to say...mans decision :D ...

19

Re: Multiple Wives

hussain87, you better have your guard up because Women of Gupshup are very emotional about this issue :D

BTW, I have question for girls, would you like to be the first wife of average joe or the second wife of George Clooney/ Arjun Rampal.

20

Re: Multiple Wives

Gals are monogomous creatures. We arent good at sharing.

Ok how about YOU guys? Would you let your wife bring home an extra "hubby"????? Extra income and all that? You get Tuesday, Thursday and every other sunday, hubby number 2 gets the alternate nites.

Oh and btw, hubby number 2 has 6-pack abs, perfect teeth and drives a lexus