OK i will give you good and serious suggestion here. Next time when you like youngest one just be confident and go for her. Ask her parents that I like your youngest daughter. Waisy bhi you don’t get married on the same day when you find a suitable girl. Mostly people take 1 to 2 years gap between enagement and wedding. So give them that time for their eldest daughter. Believe me if you are eligible bachelor, parents will never let you go. They will definitely finalized things between you and youngest one. I have seen many cases where guy or his family likes youngest ones and things get finalized with their choice of girl. If they reject that proposal for you… sumjh lein you are not that according to their standard. Or are you afraid of rejection as well?
HotTea must be doing some window shopping No chance for me, I am the eldest
Marrying younger or older first is completely the personal choice of parents and although we can make them understand, no one can force them. I don’t think any parent will be enemy of their younger daughter if they get a very good proposal for the younger one and reject it just for the elder daughter’s reason. The reason of reject may very well be that they did not find the guy acceptable in comparison to the younger one. When they are not in pressure to marry their younger one, they will have strict criteria for the younger one and will not easily give in. Don’t take this behaviour as if they are the enemy of their younger daughter and are doing something bad for her. Younger ones are not Soteli aulad and parents love all their children.
The guy/ his family can convey his liking for the younger one but it will be totally upto the parents to accept or reject the proposal. Stop blaming desi society and practices and if you are so miserable with our desi culture, you have other options.
The part in red in your OP is what I was referring to.
that's just a coincidence. As I said, "this is not some ploy at my end to indirectly bag me a younger girl by first looking at the elder sis. If I wanted a younger girl, that's what I would then specifically target." I also previously said that age difference between the sisters were probably 3-4 yrs max. It's not if the elder sis is 35 and I'm going after her 20 yr old younger sister.
Allright, this thread has run out its course for me.
Thanks to the few posters who actually did have some good thoughts and suggestions; I have replied to you in kind. To the rest (elder sisters maybe :D), sorry, I just didn't have the time/energy to engage in your banter. Perhaps, some other day.
^I wasn't suggesting that you want to rob the cradle or something, just saying that the pattern suggests that maybe you are more at ease with the girls you're not meant to see (maybe cuz they are also more at ease). And given that it's not an actual relationship, but rather just an initial impression, I don't see why parents would pursue the rishta.
As a father of grown up daughter, even I am also thinking not to entertain this Rishat visit, rather find some informal setting where the guy could meet girl (may be without her knowledge of Rishta prospect from him).
I am not sure if this is possible in Pakistani environment.
As a father of grown up daughter, even I am also thinking not to entertain this Rishat visit, rather find some informal setting where the guy could meet girl (may be without her knowledge).
I am not sure if this is possible in Pakistani environment.
That take undue pressure from girl.
Universal advise:
You and others who are fathers of girls should be aware of sick and pervert dudes who do taanka jhanki in your house when invited for some legitimate reason.
It is difficult to screen taanka jhankiwal dude when you r dealing with strangers, in my opinion we must spend sometime investigating to screen them before inviting them.
But in this case need to spend too much time and energy for useless leads.
It is difficult to screen taanka jhankiwal dude when you r dealing with strangers, in my opinion we must spend sometime investigating to screen them before inviting them.
But in this case need to spend too much time and energy for useless leads.
As long as you and others who are fathers of girls are aware of these sick shopping minded dudes. :)
As a father of grown up daughter, even I am also thinking not to entertain this Rishat visit, rather find some informal setting where the guy could meet girl (may be without her knowledge of Rishta prospect from him).
I am not sure if this is possible in Pakistani environment.
That take undue pressure from girl.
I think that's alot better way of going about this rishta process.
I wonder what the guys would feel like if the hot, younger girls said - you're too old and boring for me and went for the younger brothers instead?! lol That's what women should do, go after the hot, younger men rather than marrying guys years older or twice their age. ;-)
We need more women going around and saying "mujhe jota wala bhai pasand hai". Haha On a more serious note though, lots of times I notice the the younger brothers of the guys some women are married to are closer to them in age, fresher, better looking and more educated. I always think to myself - bechari, I wonder if she was forced into marrying the older, not as good looking brother. Men should get what they dish out!
As a father of grown up daughter, even I am also thinking not to entertain this Rishat visit, rather find some informal setting where the guy could meet girl (may be without her knowledge of Rishta prospect from him). I am not sure if this is possible in Pakistani environment. That take undue pressure from girl.
It is defo possible, we tend to do this in our family (usually in a restaurant or some other 'neutral' place) if the match is an arranged one..
I think that's alot better way of going about this rishta process.
Me too..
Not sure about not telling her about the reason for meeting tho.. she might resent not knowing..
They just go to a local restaurant/cafe and more often than not there'll be at least one family member or guardian there as well.. There have been a few times when the guy and girl were left on their own but usually the parents seem to insist on someone else being there as well..
The guardian(s) sits out of the way so the 'couple' can talk as normal and without the obvious pressure of having mum or dad right next to them so the conversation tends to be less stilted and they can ask each other stuff without feeling as embarrassed.. It's usually quite relaxed and the family doesn't have to worry about what's going on..
No chance for me, I am the eldest 