She just come to know this person less then two months ago, that also apart form two weeks while she is visiting Pakistan it is mainly long distance relationship.
Both are from different backgrounds and expectations. yet somehow managed to reconcile with each other, now they are talking to marriage.
I have done good investigation on him, fortunately have some good contacts in the industry he working, and managed to map at least his past 4-5 years without any red flag.
Now rishta is already on table but i am wondering if they are moving too fast.
I do not mind if “chut Mangani Put Biah” as long as decision is right one. I am wondering if they are giving themselves enough time to make sure it is.
Spending more time together doesn’t effect on marriage else in Europe Divorce ratio never increase :cobra: where couples spend day & night together for 5 years and then after getting married divorce within one month …Hope u ve got my point …
Time doesn't matter or a deciding factor. Kabhi kabhi to chand lamhe hi bohut hotay because you have a very solid image of your life partner in your mind and when you meet him/her, you know he/she is the person you were looking for. But sometimes, living with some one for years does not create required understanding and people star singing:
As mentioned earlier got mostly good comments from his work places. He seems to be a nice person more on traditional mold.
He was against her working, but now reluctantly agreed later on with condition that family should be priority over work.
He does not want to move oversea, but now open to it after few years (his job is ver well transferable he should not have problem moving).
Financially he is decent earner (but family is not as well off as us) without her working she would have difficulty maintaining her current lifestyle.
She would be secrifying one of the best possible job for moving back to Pakistan with knowing that her counterpart in Pakistan is well settled and unless the person decides to move on she has no chance securing that position.
Since we are from a decent family, thus wary of Rishta come because of our financial position or her passport. He presented himself very well, by initially tried to avoid her saying she is "Bade Ghar Ki Ladki Ha Aur Mare Bas Ki Baat naheen".
But after very short period all misgiving disappeared, and he proposed her. I am wondering if it was genuine love made him compromise (he compromised on her career, agree to move out of Pakistan after few years of marriage).
Only Allah knows the future but IMO adaptibility and changing yourself for your life partner (seriously) are definitely plus points for a relationship. When one negates his ego (Ana) for you, then don't let him/her go away.
Clever Guy, most of the guys initially says like this **“**I don’t wanna go overseas” :cobra:
Baray ghar key These are symptoms of a smart boy as well ! (Mujhay kuch yaad aa gia :hinna: )
Dude Marriage is a gamble! so don’t worry and give them a chance …
He was against her working, but now reluctantly agreed later on with condition that family should be priority over work.
Financially he is decent earner (but family is not as well off as us) without her working she would have difficulty maintaining her current lifestyle.
Assuming this guy is marrying her for love only.....I see the above being the biggest potential issue. The condition that she can work as long as "family should be priority"....what does that specifically mean? Does that mean she can only work part-time? What will determine whether or not she's complying with this condition? Also, what happens once they have children? Does he expect her to stay home? If she continues to work, who will watch the kids? Will they have family living near that will be willing to help OR can they afford quality childcare?
This is shallow but I know quite a few marriages where the people are miserable (and several that ended in divorce) b/c there were fights about money (ie. the husband's income alone could not sustain the type of lifestyle the wife was used to/expected. So the girl in this situation seriously needs to ask herself if she's ok with living the lifestyle HIS income alone can provide her.
Only good thing I managed to map his past 7 year of professional life yet to find anything negative.
In my humble opinion, that doesn't necesssarily mean he'll be a good/decent husband. I have plenty of clients who have impeccable professional resumes....but they're TERRIBLE husbands/fathers.
I still didnt get who the couple is to you? Well decisions like these are made in heavens. chatt mangni patt biyah or get to know each other for ages, you equally dont know where you would end up. Jab dulha dulhan razi to kya karega qazi
As a father you will probably think that no one is good enough for your daughter - and that's your right and duty as a father to look out for her best interest. But what you do need to do is figure out, is he a good man and is there enough in common and enough of an understanding between the two of them that they will both work at and on the marriage together. You can know this in 2 days or 2 years or maybe never at all - it's what your judgment tells you based on the interaction.
My philosophy, in happy times any two people can make their marriage work, but it is when a couple is tested by difficult times that you realize that not any two people can make a marriage work. They need to care enough about each other and the OTHER'S happiness that they will sacrifice for them and will work at the marriage. Also, sometimes sacrificing for a marriage is the wrong thing - sometimes one partner needs to speak up and be heard for the good of the marriage.
If I were u, i'd put any decision off until I see the guy at least once or twice. Daughters are just so precious gift, I would take 2 days off from work and make a quick 4 days trip to Pakistan if I have to.
How can people give advice that time doesn't matter in knowing a person. Ofcourse it matters. Rushing into things especially marriage is careless. Take the time you need to make sure that this is the right decision for yourself.
If I were u, i'd put any decision off until I see the guy at least once or twice. Daughters are just so precious gift, I would take 2 days off from work and make a quick 4 days trip to Pakistan if I have to.
Yes!
I and my best friend (whom I considere more expereanced and wiser) meet him outside home, so we could ask the things without involving his family members. The feeling was good, he seems to be straight forward person more in traditional mold.
Moreover his previous company where he worked for 5 years I have ex colleague who was his supervisor given very good words about him. Even one of his current colleague also good friend of my ex colleague that also come good.
The only red flag is his desire to marry a homemaker type girl is known to everyone and here he suddenly agreed to marry her (who is professional girl), I understand even his family members also surprised on this.
I am wondering what caused this turn around, a love at first sight or something else.
These are symptoms of a smart boy as well ! (Mujhay kuch yaad aa gia :hinna: )
