I’ve known so many families that have lived abroad for a long period of time and then, for one reason or another, have decided that they need to move to Pakistan and set up house & home in Karachi or Lahore.
I’m curious…what are the difficulties that these folks face? What kinds of adjustments do they end up having to make? What kinds of sacrifices?
How do the kids adjust?
How do they find the medical facilities?
What are some of the issues that you know they face?
Perhaps there are guppies that have first-hand knowledge of the trials of moving back…
Actually i have been through all that. My parents lived in the usa for 16 yrs and then moved back to pak when i was 6. We didn’t have to face much complication as we had a lot of help from our family back there. Though there were some terrible incidents, when we were newbies in Pak, we rented a portion of a house for a yr and one night when we were sleeping, the cops came to our house. They knocked our doors down and were carrying guns and were brutally throwing everythin on the floor and kept looking for someone. Eventually we found out they were looking for the owner of the house as he was a huge drug dealer. O man I can never forget that incident, I was scared to death. Another issue I had at that age was difficulty with Urdu, which was the main reason ma parents wanted to settle in Pak for few yrs.
Anyway our relatives there helped us a lot to go through all that, so we didn’t have to face much difficulties.
One of my family friends was from a family that pretty much hit the jackpot when they moved to and lived in the UK for about 10-12 years. Having made their money, they moved back to Pakistan and bought a large mansion in Karachi. I’d go to see them every few years and their kids seemed to have an easy time of moving back. They stopped having to do things for themselves and had about 5-6 servants looking after them instead.
Perhaps after sometime you'll see me among those who moved back, InshaAllah!
Right now our issues aren't quite big but we can kinda foresee whats coming our way.
Though I've a looong list of reasons but at the moment I'll just tell you the most recent one (as I'm getting late...going to sleep)
Its the racism ....the fact that we don't belong here n we'll never be accepted with an open heart.
2 days ago..my 7 yrs old came back from school n in the afternoon he had a question. He told me that martin (his classmate) told him that somewhere in america, a few ppl told some jokes about muslims...and the muslims burnt a few hotels in turn . And there were several children caught up in fire etc. etc. Then Martin asked my son ...'tell me which is worse....telling jokes or burning hotels'
I asked him what he said...n my boy goes, I didn't hear about such thing before so I thought may be its not true n I told martin that I can't decide ...I'll tell you later'.
I told him in a simpler way abt. the cartoon incident ....n somehow i satisfied his curiosity ...but next morning i narrated this to martin's mum ...(we see each other quite often n do discuss things about class n all etc.) She was kinda confused ....i told her that I think he's gathered some tit bits from adults discussions and made up a story ....she said she will try to find out .
Long story short....turned out that a few boys in class are quite active at this type of discussions n according to hassaan's teacher...they do marginalize him often....There are some who don't want to play with him or do any activity with him ....And often told him things like 'I hate you' or 'you are disgusting'
I'm shocked to see this and I can see it will increase with the time. I do understand that children can say things to each other which are mean ...and they really don't mean it sometimes ....but what i discovered is a really serious thing. I would think perhaps I'm taking it serious coz its my so n i'm just being over sensitive....but no...the class teacher too has noticed it.
I face insults on almost daily basis for myself ...from ppl honking at me only for my appearance to spitting at floor when i ask a question....but mostly i can handle it ....i've stopped using public transport just because of hate remarks ...n i'm fine with it ....but my innocent child being treated like that only because he's a muslim ....i can't really tolerate it.
I'm fully aware of the problems we might face in pak....but I don't think my son will be singled out there for being a muslim.
We moved to pak for only 2 yrs from Saudi Arabia and yes like MM said family masha’allah was a huge support there. But getting adjusted there was hard and getting used to the school system was difficult. It took me a yr to get used to the country and by the time I start liking it, we moved to States
I would imagine it depends on the amount of $$$ involved. More dollars = more fun and less dealing with absurdities in Pakistan.
For example, back in 1992 when BCCI collapsed around 15-20 new kids came my school. They were from HK, Tokyo, US, UK, Singapore, etc. Since their daddies had lots of money, they had no problem adjusting to life. Chauffer driven rides to school everyday, living in the best areas, hanging out at the expensive spots and all that stuff rich people do. So they didn't exactly have to deal with stuff other people did.
At school, everyone sucked upto them because ooooh ahhh they spoke English with an American or British accent. Ofcoure some of them were totally not used to the education system and also could not pass Urdu and Islamiat exams. They were nice, but some of them did have a superiority complex.
So how come nobody is taking about everyday issues like:
lack of water supply,
power outages,
corruption (e.g. rishwat)
safety issues
medical facilities, etc.?
And nobody is talking about Pollution, and the dhakkay of Serkaree offices---- Also what about kids who have no idea of Urdu and they have to take classes in the school and it gives them really hard time?
Language is always an issue but, whether ur moving West or back to Pakistan. I moved to US when I was young with absolutely no English skills. It was tough but it's a small hurdle when you compare it to things like a clean water supply, healthcare, dealing with corruption etc.
lack of water supply: never had any prob with that
**power outages, **first two yrs were absolutely horrific, but then got used to it
corruption (e.g. rishwat),never had to deal with it ( but I never cared about it) Corruption is everywhere in the world. Its just that Pak’s corruption isn’t hidden. (My parents were too over protective, never let us c that site of pak, though I m a little aware of it but never had any sort of issues with it)
Safety issues:Never had any probs with that either, we built our house in a gr8 neighborhood + we had two gun mans
Medical facilities: They don’t have any insurances or anything, never had any sort of probs with um
Pollution, weather and the shopping area are the worst part of all of it, while I was there for 5 yrs I only went to the bazaar 5 times. Later I asked ma mom to bring me stuff, I only went to school or my friends house when I was in Pak, never went outside the house besides that. I hated the weather, the pollution and had some weird incidents in the bazaar. When I came back to US and went back to Pak (for a vacation) ended up loving the bazaars and tried to explore Pak.
TDW:Urdu is a necessity in Pak, not just to talk to maids or the lower class pepz. You always need urdu credits to enter a college in Pak, even if ur a foreigner + its our mother tongue y shouldn't we know it. Its a shame how some of us consider it as off no use and degrading.
if you are loaded, life in Pakistan can be a piece of cake, unless you tangle with a real power broker.
most of the problems can be bought off.
need to get anything done, grease some palms and u are set.
water shortage affects an avg person, u can buy tankers full of water if you need
poiwer outages do not impact ppl who have generators in their homes and can have them run when power goes out
No issue with pollution if you aree not dealing with the city, and are having servants run the errands
sadly the life for these people seems to be limited to a few square miles, but oh well, thats their choice.
Inshallah, I am gonna move back to Pakistan. My stay in America is just for 3-4 year more. Then, I'll go back to the country I belong to and that is Pakistan.
Muzna ji,
A simple answer to your questions form a Pakistani point of view, from a person who feels Pakistani is that if you like your home, you even like its broken walls. You even like its burning temperature etc etc. But to give you specific answers,
Lack of water supply: Never had problems like that. Always had clean water.
Power outrages: Yes, it happened but we never felt it that bad...
Corruption: Alhamdulillah, Allah never threw us into any situation that corruption could become a headache. I do admit it is there. As someone said, the only difference is that in Pakistan, it is completely open while in other places, it is sort of hidden
Safety issues: Hum, I don't remember ever having a break in. Alhamdulillah, nothing of such sort happened.
Medical facilities: For people who can pay, lots and lots and lots of doctors are available. Doctors trained in USA, are making hospitals in Pakistan. The problem of medical fascilites are in fact for the people who are middle class. Talk about lower class of Pakistan who need medical attention almost free. We need to serve our country as much as it needs from us.
I lived in Pakistan 22 1/2 years of my life. Even tough I am getting my professional training in USA, I don't wanna serve here. I pray to Allah to keep me steadfast in this decision. I wanna go back to Pakistan.
Been there, done that. Here are my two cents. Moving to Pakistan is always a tough experience. More often that not, it results in failure with many families moving back to the UK/US within a year.
For children up till university level students, adjusting to the different education system and culture is always hard. But TeenDabbyWala was dead right, the more money you have the better.
For working individuals the move is even harder to get used to the corruption, politics and suck up culture that is rampant in the business world. You will find that merit, experience and qualifications mean nothing. In fact they can have an adverse effect. You will never get hired if you are judged a "threat" to the other employees at the company. But if you've got influence, money and contacts, you won't have much problems. Mind you this applies to both Multinationals and local firms.
The power, water and traffic problems are always present. So are the pollution, medical and crime problems. To some extent the impact of most of these problems can be lessened if you have money.
I am not saying settling in Pakistan isn't possible, it's just I recommend people don't burn their bridges when they do it. There should always be a contingency plan. These sort of decisions are hard to make on paper, because it's necessary to first live through the experience.
Disclaimer: this is my VIEW as an outsider who had moved to Pakistan, I am sure some resident Pakistanis may well have different opinions.
What about the changing family dynamics - i.e. moving into a joint family system when you are used to a nuclear one. Even if you are the barri bahu, does the choti bahu take presedence if she has been in the home much longer, and what are the tensions like? What about American raised daughters who are used to more freedoms and not livign such as restricted life?
oh and you get more than singled out for those, you get killed.
dont believe me, go ask people who live there.
door kay dhol suhanay, you may avoid some problems but there will be others.
Oh come'on, it isnt that bad.
Yeah things happen there but not quite as often as people from other countries think. Depends mainly on the area where you're living. Killing, mugging, happens every where in the world, doesnt it.
Pakistan is not the only country. I agree the people who move to Pakistan are more vulnerable, cuz they dont have the idea of what's going on there.
Infact if you put your child with english accent in a school over there, everyone would be delighted and would love to be their friend. But yes, you have to be careful in choosing your friends.
