Moving to Pakistan

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

for ppl saying that if u have money its all good… no it isnt..

we moved to pakiland back in 93 and it was horrible… this was isloo.. suppossedly better than rest of pakistan, and it was.. cleaner, less pollution, less ppl.. traffic not crazy. But its the same ppl, corruption at every possible level still existed.. education was just downright pathetic… we just couldnt get it. We went to a high class school, lived in a posh neighbourhood, tho phir why the hell were we not gettin a good education, why were ppl in our hood so fake and corrupt…

we didnt care bout not getting imported crap we were used to, we could live without all luxuries, but corruption and the double standards, we just could not learn to accept them. c’mon man.. living somwhere shouldnt involve so many mind games nor should we be on the lookout 24/7 .. insaan thak jatha hai!!

So we moved to Canada.

we’re getting a home built in Karachi Defence area, cuz folks think they want to spend their retirement yrs back home… so we went to Pakistan in the summer and just really checked the place out. Usually we go for vacations and dont really “see” what goes on or even if we do, we dont care cuz we dont havta live there forever. But this time around.. we checked it all out.. its just mindnumbing… so u pay extra extra money to live in Defence, lekin the probs u face are the same for someone who lives in naziambad… as in.. no constant running water throughout the week, no 24 hour electricity… wth!!

i say.. forget everything.. corruption, pollution… messy traffic… corrupt ppl…non existent healthcare… forget all this… how the hell is one supposed to live without runnin water and electricity?! yes u can put a saver or generator (im sorry.. im not so rich!!).. u can also get water tankers to put water in every week (im sorry.. this is not enuff either and again.. IM NOT SO DAMN RICH! and even if i was.. why?! why should i havta get a tanker man! im living in DEFENCE!! ) … shouldnt there be a place that u can pay higher for but be able to enjoy quality of life?!

sad to say but no such place exists.. maybe Isloo.. but only old ppl should have to live there…

after seeing all this.. dad isnt very happy … u live abroad and u sorta get used to leading a straight foward lifestyle… corruption and bribery arent common daily things, atleast for us in arabia… just dont know who to deal with such stuff on a daily basis like ppl do in pakistan… nor do we want to…

the only thing that really makes my folks wanna go is so they can be with family.. lived abroad for so long, the urge to be with loved ones gets stronger and comes more frequently now… lekin is that enuff to warrant a move?

kher… in a nutshell.. dad prays he dies here and never has to live in Pakistan forever :smiley: .. mom says ameen afterwards… :omg:

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

but i guess.. in the end.. if u havta do something and u have no choice.. make best of a bad situation… where there’s a will.. there’s a way…

or something like that

:rolleyes:

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

My parents have been planning on settling here for years, but didnt coz my brother didnt wanna move, then I didnt wanna move.. i decided to take a semester off and spend a few months here, rather than the typical 3-week visit that’s spent surrounded by relatives..

I like how we have a driver :smiley: I dont have to rely on rikshas or buses or anything… electricity going out all the time is just something u gotta face.. its not that bad, it only lasts for a few minutes anyway, but at night (which happened like once) it can be really dangerous and scary.. another thing I can’t get used to are how there’s so many restrictions (well in my family anyway) on how grls cant go here, cant go there etc..the other day it was basant n none of the older grls in my family wud go on the roof.. im like so whas the big freakin deal abt basant then?? its a guys holiday then :grumpy: ..honestly i cant remember anything like that in NY, that grls arent allowed to go here or there..

Another thing is the justice, bribery etc.. i had a particularly nasty xperience not too long ago, and the advice i got was that i shud get a buncha guy cousins to come and beat the person up becoz otherwise hes’ not gnna be punished or fired or anything.. like thas the way “justice” is done here, get ure brothers/cousins to beat him up :rolleyes: ..

Like everyone said, language is a big factor in how comfortable you are there.. i was born n raised in NY, and i spoke only urdu in the home, in fact my chachi had to teach me english when i was abt to start school, i started out speakin urdu.. it wasn’t until I got to college I realized my urdu is more punjabi and all mixed up :bummer: .. Sometimes I think kids who were raised in pak for the first part of their lives r better off than those born/raised in US/UK.. the latter always get labeled ABCD, which has a lot of negative connotations to it, whereas the ones who spent their childhood.. dont..

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

Ooh okay, i just remembered, family dynamics as well..

I dont think anyone can get used to teh backbiting, or at least I can’t.. im a very straightforward person, i do my own thing, i don tneed 4, 5 6 ppl tagging along.. over here, noone says anything to ur face, they all talk behind ure back.. one incident, my khalas were over and i was talking abt marriage n stuff n my thots on living with susraal etc and they said "well (our bahu) doesnt get up til 10, 11 (even tho they get up at 6, 7 AM) " and i said yeah but still you guys talk abt her behind her back, and they said if u say it to someones face “dil bura hota hai”.. :rolleyes: And a while ago my friend, who was born/raised in pak, said somethin sorta similar, that u gotta show everyone respect, whether u mean it or not.. coming from where i am, thats’ sorta two-faced.. I don’t think i’ll make any friends here ever :bummer:

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

Sara, live for few months & u will be fine. Your blood is Pakistani no matter u are ABCD/BBCD/TTBD or whatever.

I have ABCD/BBCD cousins who moved to live in Pakistan some girls got married & rather importing husbands they moved to PK to live with them. Few of them couldn't speak Urdu/Punjabi at all & now I see them speaking punjabi & ask them, did u ever think about it? They say, no, but we are never gonna move back to West, live is much convenient & interesting here.

So I'd say it all depends upon individuals how you want ur life to be.

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

Fraudz …its not door k dhol for me…I’ve lived there for almost 20 years…n i still go there every year …sometimes twice an year.

Sectarian killings are an unfortunate truth but this type of things are usually much common in big cities …my city has not so violent past n i hope it will stay the same.

You are right about avoiding some problems to get into others…but in my case all my family lives there …my own folks, siblings my in laws, everyone. For any problem over here I’ve got people on my side…here I’ve absolutely no one to talk to or to share. Even my hubby has to leave us for weeks coz of his business. Wouldn’t you love to be at a place where your folks can visit you …(in our case its close to impossible coz of visa restrictions on visitors)
Plus you need to be in my shoes for seeing where I’m coming from. How should I feel if even the passers by pass a remark filled with hate…If people honk at me just coz I wear a scarf…n not just honking its followed by spitting right n left n making angry gestures …Ok…I understand I don’t belong here so shouldn’t I leave??

Muzna…I belong to a small city…We have been working on our plans to move back for quite a while.At the moment our biggest concern is ‘education’ …right now my kis are in the best school of our area…n when we try to compare it with schools there …we know its just not that good.But I myself have attended schools/colleges in pak…n I’m not that much ignorant when compared with ‘educated lot’ here (if I may say so myself) so in the end I hope my kids can survive this change specially if we move in early years.

Our second biggest concern was medical facilities. There’s not a single doctor in my city we can trust.most recently we were shocked to see that my FIL suffered a heart attack n doctors in my city kept treating him for pneumonia…we found out abt. he actual thing only when we rushed to Islamabad. BUT fortunately our city isn’t very far frm. Islamabad so almost everyone usually relies on medical facilities there.And there are some really qualified doctors there …you just have to look harder.

Water…n electricity aren’t that big problems. I’ve never experienced water shortage in my city …mainly coz we don’t rely on water facilities from muncipility.
Electricity can be a problem specially in summer…but there are generators available for those who are interested.

Corruption n lack of infra structure…has always been a big hurdle.And I realise its real bad picture overall. But God helps those who help themselves…Allah is watching everything and He does make it easy for you IF you believe in HIM. I wouldn’t know about others …but have a first hand example. My hubby is a very straight forward person n is never willing to give any bribe etc. This time in Pak we bought a piece of land n when he went to registrar’s office to get it registered…he was told about a specific amount he needede to pay …he inquired the whole thing n came to know there was a 10,000 Rs. extra added in the fee…when he asked why…he was told its ‘kharcha paani’ of the staff. Hubby said write it down on a paper here that its for ‘kharcha paani’ n sign it. I’m willing to pay extra to lawyer n everything to take a stand for this but i WILL NOT give my money as a bribe. People in the office did realise he isn’t of their type n will not give in so he got it registered without that extra sum. We believe …just because he was willing to take a stand, Allah helped him.So I know …it will get frustratting at times …but in the end it’ll be something we are satisfied about. I don’t want to sound unthankful etc. but the life I’m living right now equates to solitary confinement…n I’m willing to tolerate even this…if my kids are treated with respect .

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

a very enlightening topic...................
and i don't know what my views are at the moment because i am confused. and feelin numb after reading all the above posts........
as i too at some point want to move to paksiatn with my 5 yr old!!!!!!

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

Afia, that land departmetn was not LDA (Lahore Development Authority or lets say Lahore Decoits Association) otherwise it wont be 10,000 khercha pani but 100,000 as khercha pani & if your husband would have refused then it wont decrease rather you will not be able to register ur plot.

I spent almost one year to sort out my property in Pakistan and believe me it wasn't easy. But again, the people who live there they are humans too, the people who move from West to PK are in much better shape financially and in other ways than those living there. So why not, if u want to move & live there u can.

Cities like Lahore, Karachi or Islamabad has all type of facilities, Medical, Education, Good jobs almost what u can wish for, sometimes one might have to wait for opportunity to come but ya I cannot complain. I applied for a job in Government just as fun & good succeeded, pay was really good, thats a separate issue I didn't join.

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

I don't know about LDA...but we have had an experience with DHA lahore ...n as far as I know it was alright without kharcha paani bit.

P.s. Thanks you somewhat agreed ...at least someone did.

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

I totally agree. Its just a matter of a few months. When we come to western countries, we make efforts for years and years to settle down, don't we? Isn't it hard for us to adjust to the western environment? It is of course. Then when we plan to move back to Paklistan why we try to deduce everything from a matter of few days? Why we base our judgement on mostly what is being heard about Pakistan?

We should not forget our "asal". Does Pakistan matter to us only in terms of what we will get out of it? And how much we will get out of it without even putting in anything from our sides? If thats the approach, then the problem is with ourselves, not with Pakistan.

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

You sound like me…except for me it was only one year in pak(thank God). I am just too straight forward and simple for desis.

I think I am too different from other pakistani kids, I would never fit in, not even now. I hate showing off, I hate dressing up for people, I hate pakistanis in general, and I absolutely hate dealing with them :o

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

I've been here for three months now, this was the purpose of our trip, to c what it was like living here, and everything ive faced on my own, rather than what I've heard.. There's a lot fo things i dont want to/cant deal with, if that makes me weak, or stupid or selfish or an ABCD, I really dont care anymore..

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

cant imagine living in pk. not now at least.
too many restrictions on women, its suffocating.

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

Does anyone who actually moved there have any experience on how your family situation changed - did you move into a joint family, etc?

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

wow - its amazing to read so many responses.

I have no idea how i wo uld feel since i havent lived in Pakistan all my life. Always went for 3 week visit or 2 months. No more then that.

jab bhi bigli chali jati thi i use to get excited- my cousin would tell us scary stories and i would laugh.

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Re: Moving to Pakistan

I haven't had first hand experience but some of my cousins have moved back/forth to Pak. What I've noticed is that if you move there before the teenage years (around 10-ish or under) then it is easy to adapt. But if you move there in your 20s it is much harder to adapt to the changes. I've cousins who have moved while they were around 6 or 7 years old and they really enjoy it in Pak. The ones who moved during their H.S./ College years did not like it at all and moved back or want to move back as soon as possible.

As far as medical treatment, it is good to have docs in the family who can treat you for free or their friends can give you a discount. I personally did not like the way there was total disregard for cleanliness at the hospitals. The guys drawing blood would not even wear gloves!! I don't think they have good geriatric capabilities.

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Oh i went to a health clinic in our neighborhood to c a dermatologist.. the grl at the front desk didnt even know what “dermatologist” meant.. :rolleyes:

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^^ Lol...Sara, I was looking at photos from Ahmed's 2nd birthday in Pakistan and the cake had this written on it. "Happy 2st birthday".

Khair coming back to the topic. My aboo jaan sent all my siblings and my mom back to Pakistan in 1990 and we stayed there until 1994. We were all under 13. Our biggest problem was the language barrier. But we all overcame that since we had a tutor at home and the teacher's at school gave us extra time and helped us more thoroughly. Although, the first year for me was the worst. I cried everyday upon returning from school. The reason we went back was to learn urdu, become familiar with our culture, values, family system...all the good stuff that western society lacks;)

Khair, after four years we all came back speaking, reading, writing urdu fluently. Everyone finished Quran Shareef. The importance of family system. We also learned how important it is to respect elders. NOt that my parents were not able to teach us all that here but i guess there were barriers that they were facing or maybe my father thought it would have been easier if we were exposed to all of it at first hand.
I really think that moving back for 4 years did us all very good. WE have all learned to appreciate life more because when you see the poverty in Pakistan atleast for me it breaks my heart just thinking about it.
As far as problems of water and load shedding. Never had water issues. But the load-shedding was a problem initially but we got used to it.
Oh i hated going to the bazaars there because of some very nasty experiences. Also, i never felt secured there. Once, i came so close to a "dakuu" who was in our neighbors home.
I hated the crank callers. Also, there were times when men would follow you to your home. NOw, those kind of things really scare me.