yaar mujhe koi prob nahi par she is interfering never gives me n hubby alone time always has her nose in our business and she has been the cause of hubby yelling at me though Im still in usa and havent even lived with the in laws yet or intereacted with them. But I find out from my cousin-nand that my saasu ma is playing politics causing my hubby to get wound up think ill of me and yell at me…even jab k abhi meri rukhsati bhi nahin huwi…agar abhi yeh haal hai toh aagay kya hoga…main marr jaungi but aint no body coming into my house and putting undue strain on mine n hubby’s relationship and that includes mere apne gharwaale
my philosphy is the same for my family as it is for his…everyone stay away from us…you can visit and we will visit too and help and support financially as well as in any other way we can…but no way is anyone coming to live with us…hell no…not even my family
If your husband is supportive and can stand up for you (that is if your in laws create probs for you as you don't know how to cook etc), then you should be all well. It all depends on the husband too.
Obviously, you will have to adjust and try to learn. Be nice to your Parents in Law and insha ALLAH they will be nice to you too. Yes, show them the willingness to learn and adjust into their environment.
I know it is very very difficult... but you don't really have a choice.
Besides, make sure your hubby & in laws know what to expect from you in the beginning to avoid misunderstandings and troubles. Tell them you will learn all of it with time, but do not expect a ready-made programmed robot bahu right away!!
it doesnt work that way/..hubby ko phir bhi apni wife ki aur wife ko hubby ki shortcomings itni nazar nahin aati aur pinch nahin karti but in laws ko nazar bhi aati hain aur pinch bhi karti hain n larki ki maa bhi quick hoti hai point out karne mein k damaad mein kya kharaabi hai and larrke ki maa is also quick to point out to her son the shortcomings of his wife...n then hubby starts seeing things n they pinch him when those shortcmings were there before too.
and another thing is no matter how nice u are to ur in laws saari umar sacrifices karte raho woh achi bahu hone ka award jo hai na woh kabhi nahin milta...ive seen that a lot in my extended family and even his
and i have yet to see a hubby who totally ignores his gharwaalon k comments on his wife...
i have yet to see a hubby who is not influenced by his mum's comments
i have yet to see a hubby who stands up for his wife especially inf ront of his mom...no way
I’m white and in ‘our culture’ we were pretty much raised to do what the hell we want and even then myself and all my siblings could cook decent food by the time we were 13!
All this rubbish about not having time with studies, family blah blah blah just wont cut it, I could cook, clean, live independently and work while studying. Parents need to bring up their children so they have the skills to leave home and look after themselves, otherwise you have not done your job as a parent!
Ditto. I also never understood this argument about developing basic life skills interfering with school. As if learning how to cook a few simple, decent meals and how to use a broom are an either/or proposition next to studying. I always thought teaching your children self-sufficiency, balancing multiple responsibilities and ultimately seeing them be able to master all aspects of their world would be one of the most rewarding experiences a parent could have.
this is the result u get when u dnt keep in touch with ur roots, we must never forget that no matter wat at the end of the day we r of pakistani heritage, and we have to teach our children about it n take them to see the place so they can also understand wat its like to live out there
rite now, y r u sooo worried about the cooking n cleaning im sure its getting done whilst ur not even married yet ......so y cant it carry on in the same manner after ur marriage?
i never learnt how to cook or do any chores but i thank my parents for having taken me back to pak wen i was young so i knew wat it was like if i had to live there. There was a point in my life where i thought i have no choice but to move to pakistan, but i wasnt worried, y? because i had seen the life n had a rough idea even if i was 12 when i went it stil made a huge difference.
its never too late, even if u have to move over im sure they can hire a maid or smething or u can just wtch n learn well thts wat i did n i did it in 6 mnths n to b fair n honest life isnt that hard in a joint family..its just how ppl portray it
good luck
Who are these useless moms and dads not bothering to teach their children to cook?
I’m white and in ‘our culture’ we were pretty much raised to do what the hell we want and even then myself and all my siblings could cook decent food by the time we were 13!
All this rubbish about not having time with studies, family blah blah blah just wont cut it, I could cook, clean, live independently and work while studying. Parents need to bring up their children so they have the skills to leave home and look after themselves, otherwise you have not done your job as a parent!
To the thread starter – Get some cook books and start practising or get your mom to teach you. There is no excuse for not been able to cook, unless you have no hands.
hmm well i guess everyone has different lives no one person is the same...thats life...we all make different mistakes and take different judgemnts thats what makes us unique...i havent had to live independantly or learn how to cook thats just the way my life has been...it would be a different world if we were all the same. and also i didnt say i WASNT going to learn how to cook i was just simply saying i CANT cook.
Infact I take back the no hands comment, wash your feet and cook with them.
^ uhm ok slightly weird comment...but hey we're not all the same :)
it doesnt work that way/..hubby ko phir bhi apni wife ki aur wife ko hubby ki shortcomings itni nazar nahin aati aur pinch nahin karti but in laws ko nazar bhi aati hain aur pinch bhi karti hain n larki ki maa bhi quick hoti hai point out karne mein k damaad mein kya kharaabi hai and larrke ki maa is also quick to point out to her son the shortcomings of his wife...n then hubby starts seeing things n they pinch him when those shortcmings were there before too.
and another thing is no matter how nice u are to ur in laws saari umar sacrifices karte raho woh achi bahu hone ka award jo hai na woh kabhi nahin milta...ive seen that a lot in my extended family and even his
and i have yet to see a hubby who totally ignores his gharwaalon k comments on his wife...
i have yet to see a hubby who is not influenced by his mum's comments
i have yet to see a hubby who stands up for his wife especially inf ront of his mom...no way
i agreee i think guys will always listen to the woman that brought them into this world..there is a connection between parent and child that cannot be broken by a third person
this is the result u get when u dnt keep in touch with ur roots, we must never forget that no matter wat at the end of the day we r of pakistani heritage, and we have to teach our children about it n take them to see the place so they can also understand wat its like to live out there
rite now, y r u sooo worried about the cooking n cleaning im sure its getting done whilst ur not even married yet ......so y cant it carry on in the same manner after ur marriage?
i never learnt how to cook or do any chores but i thank my parents for having taken me back to pak wen i was young so i knew wat it was like if i had to live there. There was a point in my life where i thought i have no choice but to move to pakistan, but i wasnt worried, y? because i had seen the life n had a rough idea even if i was 12 when i went it stil made a huge difference.
its never too late, even if u have to move over im sure they can hire a maid or smething or u can just wtch n learn well thts wat i did n i did it in 6 mnths n to b fair n honest life isnt that hard in a joint family..its just how ppl portray it
good luck
i wouldnt say im not in touch with my roots...cos i am we go back to pakistan every year for 6 weeks in the holidays i love it there..BUT thats a holiday you know ur going to come back...
and i somehow dont think i will get away with not doing the housework..
Ditto. I also never understood this argument about developing basic life skills interfering with school. As if learning how to cook a few simple, decent meals and how to use a broom are an either/or proposition next to studying. I always thought teaching your children self-sufficiency, balancing multiple responsibilities and ultimately seeing them be able to master all aspects of their world would be one of the most rewarding experiences a parent could have.
i know how to do housework i just cant cook that is one thing i cant do...and my parents saw me learning how to cook as an interference in my school work...they saw it as their duty to see what was in my best interests..and i am only 20 so im not over the hill...
my philosphy is the same for my family as it is for his...everyone stay away from us...you can visit and we will visit too and help and support financially as well as in any other way we can...but no way is anyone coming to live with us...hell no...not even my family
lol...my parents are the same...haha...they hate ppl related to us even living close to them lol..
