tradition...hmm ok then you should keep your in laws with you as will don't u think? why should it be just the DIL who makes the sacrifice? you make the sacrifice too bro...have her parents and yours live with you in the same house.
You don't like that girls turn to islam on such matters when they are unislamic on other matters...par bhai what else are they supposed to do when they seem to be getting the short end of the stick...agar waise hubby ko kaho main in laws ko saath rakhne mein comfy nahin toh woh defensive ho jaata hai so we bring up the islamic issues... you know pak has a lot of traditions ..alot of which are from hindus (including living in combined family system) ...and alot of thes hinduism related traditions are unislamic...main ek baat bolun perfect muslim koi nahin hota but we all try...yes we all do unislamic things but we also all do islamic things so you saying this thing "girls love to come out with such islamic rulings when they are not such islamic in other matters" is not a valid argument. I would also venture to say i love when guys say "waise toh itni strict muslim nahin jahan mere ma baap ki baat aati hai wahan muslamaan bann jaati hai" yeh bhi toh dekho woh aur chezein bhi karti hogi jo islamic hain and zaruri hai k woh completely islamic nahin toh aap bhi unsilamic cheez karo jab k aapko clear pata hai k islamically theek nahin hai?
also parents ko help ya support karne k liye unhe same ghar mein hona zaruri hai? kya woh saath waale ghar mein hon agar tab aap help nahin kar sakte? khabar nahin le sakte?
If you know that your wife n mom dont have smooth relation toh zaruri hai aap apni wife ko zaleel karo aur uspe apni maa ka burden daalo? i dont think so...buy your parents neighboring house visit them everyday eat with them socialize with them par end mein apne apne ghar ...at least try to reach some compromise instead of being so inflexible
yeh jo hota hai na in laws k saath rehne vaala chakkar...chaahe son in law ne apni wife k parents ko rakha huwa ho ya daughter in law ko apne hubby k parents k saath rehna parre dono situations bohot complicated aur chaotic hain and a lot of conflicts arise...its better to not put urself in these situations...nothing good comes out of it...DIL ko MIL/FIL se nafrat ho jaati hai MIL ko DIL se aur hubby ko bhi wife se gille hote hain
you knwo agar ek wife apne hubby kk gharwalon ko dislike karti hai toh uss mein almost 90% contribution is how hubby treats her because of influence by his gharwaale and the rest 10% is the politics the MIL plays agaisnt the DIL n then the DIL has to either play too to survive or else get run over....and its the same way agar hubby apni wife k gharwalon ko pasand nahin karta uss mein bhi haath uski wife ka aur MIL ka hota hai
it may not be islamic but its our tradition, but i like when girls love to come out with such islamic rulings even when they are not such islamic in other matters.
well i can relate to situation here, as I am an only son and eventually i will be living with them with my family, even here in UK or Pakistan where ever we finally end up. i have houses in both countries. at present my parents live in Lahore on their own, and visit us here once in 2 years and we go to pak once a years or two. as they are getting older i want to be with them in this age, so before we move back to Pak from here, i want my parents to spend more time with us and grand sons, they miss them more then myself now at this age.
though my wife and mother doesnt have plain sailing relationship, but she knows and agrees they will live with us here and back home, living like this is not long term solution. When she was married, as usual she didnt know how to cook properly, but she learnt over the years, she didnt spend much time with in laws but moved here with me soon after marriage.
I personally dont like very individual westernised life, parents in law should be respected and cared like one care for her/his own parents. really dont like the idea love the hubby, hate the in laws!