I’m getting married in less then 2 months. Mother’s day is around the corner and I want to do something nice for my mil. I’ve only spoken to her 3 times, once over the phone and twice in person, I’m scared that sending her flowers or something on mothers day will seem awkward because we don’t really have a relationship, I’ve been engaged for almost 6 months and she lives in another country.
What would you do?
nothing.
technically you have no rishta to her. she is not your mil right now . it would be diff if you were nikhafied.
id say sit tight and save this gesture till after marriage. :)
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
I'm getting married in less then 2 months. Mother's day is around the corner and I want to do something nice for my mil. I've only spoken to her 3 times, once over the phone and twice in person, I'm scared that sending her flowers or something on mothers day will seem awkward because we don't really have a relationship, I've been engaged for almost 6 months and she lives in another country. What would you do?
I agree with what Khwateen has posted. You aren't her DIL yet officially. I know you just want to be nice but sometimes these gestures can be taken the wrong way. And the fact that you're not even close to her or talk to her regularly also makes it really awkward if you send her anything for mothers day.
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
really? after I told my friends what I was thinking of doing, they have almost been pushing me to do it.
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
Why haven't you been in contact more? It would seem awkward to show such a gesture if you have had such minimal contact. If you are in contact with your fiancé why don't you ask him if it would be appropriate?
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
really? after I told my friends what I was thinking of doing, they have almost been pushing me to do it.
Sometimes such gestures can easily be taken as "makhan lagana" type, as you're not close to her, so it can seem like a very fake gesture even though you mean it from your heart. Its upto you if you feel comfortable or not,but if i were you, I wouldn't. If my husband were to give my mom a mothers day gift or my dad a fathers day gift before us being married, i would have advised him not too as he wasn't close to them either. Your MIL isn't going anywhere, she will be in your life for a very long time. there will be plenty of mother days, and birthdays where you can show your appreciation. but at this point where you don't even know her well, whats the reason to give her a mothers day gift? if it were her birthday and you gave her a card or flowers that would still be different but Mothers day is different IMO.
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
I agree with what everyone has said. It seems a bit premature to send her anything. What if your fiancé sent her something and said it's from both of you? That would make it less awkward and not come across as fake as it would be primarily from her son.
Yeah wait till after ur married...it woukd be kinda awkward sending it now.
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
You can send her a gift, doesn't have to be mothers day.
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
I guess I'll just have to wait till eid them, lol. Thanks everyone :)
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
I would advise increasing contact a TINY little bit. With all relationships you need to be consistent and put in effort. Grand gestures are nice if that effort has been alongside consistently. Your relationship with her is young, do what you should do rather than what is bright and shiny. What you should do prior to nikah is perhaps talking to her when your mom and she talk over the phone and wishing her on her bday. BUS. Then you increase the interaction. Don't go overboard because post shadi you have limited time and mental capacity and suddenly a whole bunch of social obligations to fulfill. You need to develop at that time a solid relationship with husband, rearrange time for loved ones back home, fit in rest of inlaws and figure out who is given how much space and time, and ALSO FIND TIME FOR YOURSELF!!! Given all of that, don't start something so overboard with one person that you are simply unable to keep at it initially cos of other commitments which require portions of time and effort too. You'll either exhaust yourself or you'll make others think "shadi se pehlay yeh ziada karti thi ab nahi karti". See? Think wisely. Follow advice given above. Your friends are well meaning but are thinking of just the gesture, not the expectations it raises and how you raise the bar for you yourself must do in future.
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
Would you be calling her 'ammi' or 'mom'after marriage?
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
I'm getting married in less then 2 months. Mother's day is around the corner and I want to do something nice for my mil. I've only spoken to her 3 times, once over the phone and twice in person, I'm scared that sending her flowers or something on mothers day will seem awkward because we don't really have a relationship, I've been engaged for almost 6 months and she lives in another country. What would you do?
How does her family handle Mothers' Day? Do her children acknowledge it and give her flowers, etc.? If yes, then you should stick to your original plan and send her whatever you think is best. If this isn't the norm in their family, then just send something later and call her instead for now.
All these 'she has no relation to you right now' advices are disturbing. Going with that logic, the guy has no relation to you right now either. Did you still expect something on your birthday and/or valentine's day?
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
Ok. Seriously.
If your whatever gives a gift to his mum.You can add a little something to that,but he give it to his mom and say ''yeh hamaari taraf se''.
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
All these 'she has no relation to you right now' advices are disturbing. Going with that logic, the guy has no relation to you right now either. Did you still expect something on your birthday and/or valentine's day?
The reason I found it a bit premature was not that her future mother-in-law "has no relation to her now" but rather that the OP has stated that she does not interact with her very much and is not particularly close to her. On the other hand, she interacts with her fiancé quite a bit and they are close, so expecting something for her birthday and/or valentine's day is understandable.
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
I posted my MIL a photo of me and hubby on our mangni in a pretty frame on our first mother's day when I was only engaged. This was because she would ring me loadsssss and call me 'meri beti' all the time, so I thought I should do something. She was super-duperrrrrrrrrrr happy and rung me and half the khandaan about what I did. You could get extra brownie points prior to marriage by doing that...?
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
Ok. Seriously.
If your whatever gives a gift to his mum.You can add a little something to that,but he give it to his mom and say ''yeh hamaari taraf se''.
I just liked your post. God damn. Anyhoo I agree, but as for the topic maybe its just me but I don't get the hoopla over Mother's day. Treat her special all through the year and extra special on birthdays. But that's just me.
Re: Mother's day (mother in law)
I would send her a gift, definately! whether flowers or something else. Thoughts and such gestures really do matter in my opinion.
Re: Mother’s day (mother in law)
unmarried pakistani couples usually cannot say ‘hamari taraf se’.
at least not the traditional ones.
Re: Mother’s day (mother in law)
OP, kudos to you for thinking of your MIL on mother’s day. 
I really don’t see the harm in sending a gift.. you don’t need the stamp of an official rishta to be nice to someone. Ask your fiance what would be appropriate - in my mind sending a simple bouquet or box of chocolates should be perfectly fine. If you still find it awkward to send a gift or flowers, you can just call and wish her on mother’s day. I’m sure she will appreciate that too.