Maham, I don't understand why you label living seperately from in laws as something that's "westernised"...it's something that's happened in my family for generations not because they tried to be "westernised" but because, like it or not, it is a right of a woman in Islam.
Deeba's made some very good points and linked you to some good sites but you've failed to acknowledge them just because they don't agree with your view point. That's rather childish...if you want to live in a joint family system later on in life you might want to change that trait of yours.
What I fail to understand is why you've taken it upon yourself to have an issue with what other women do once they get married, I've said it before and I'll say it again...it has nothing to do with you. No one here is slating you for wanting to live with your in laws so you shouldn't be slating others for wanting to live seperately. End of.
Does that mean Muslims in the Middle-East, Malaysia, Indonesia, parts of Africa etc. are all westernised as well because the DIL doesn't move in with her inlaws after marriage??
That's basically everyone except Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi Muslims.. (see the common theme :D)
I've been to countries you mentioned and know their culture well. Indonesia and Malaysia are liberal societies like the West. Everything goes side by side like night clubbing, drinking, prostitution, scarfs, etc......
We in Pakistan are down because of financial issues ONLY. Finances create problems in family life and relations....
I would never raise my daughters living in Los Angeles or Miami where I've seen Muslim girls at beaches in Bikinis with guys doing things not at all permissible in Islam... I would rather raise them in Nebraska, North Dakota or Wyoming (rural America) where at least they are Catholics and go to Church.....
London ka bhee yehi haal hai.....muslim boys going to clubs and bringing in non-muslim girls to fulfil their tharak......
Maham, I don't understand why you label living seperately from in laws as something that's "westernised"...it's something that's happened in my family for generations not because they tried to be "westernised" but because, like it or not, it is a right of a woman in Islam.
Deeba's made some very good points and linked you to some good sites but you've failed to acknowledge them just because they don't agree with your view point. That's rather childish...if you want to live in a joint family system later on in life you might want to change that trait of yours.
What I fail to understand is why you've taken it upon yourself to have an issue with what other women do once they get married, I've said it before and I'll say it again...it has nothing to do with you. No one here is slating you for wanting to live with your in laws so you shouldn't be slating others for wanting to live seperately. End of.
I don't know ...may be it's the result of watching too much Zee tv and starplus.
I can't give islamic perspective - my understanding is its open to situation. A person (man or woman) have obligations to all his/her relatives and they need to be fullfilled in best way possible.
Anyway - I can tell you that joint family structure is better in terms of "Disaster Management". When a disaster hits, something like an earthquake, tornado, MIL, DIL, floods ... - Immediate relief is done by family and bystanders (that just happens to be there). Medium to long term rehab also depends on family support. E.g, in intense heatwaves (during 80's?) in europe - hunderds of people died because of "urbanization". People lived alone and nobody checked on the old/weak/dehydrated for days or weeks! (Let me know if you want me to lookup exacts of this for you)
I can write some stats out as well from my book - resources are used more effectively in tightly coupled communities vs "urbanized" (western) communities. Its a life and death difference for a large chunk of families who are in disaster strucken areas.
Also just because of sheer population increase and more houses being built - people are building them on riskier areas/grounds.
How does that tie into our topic? Moving out is just a step closer of de-coupling and get more people in a smaller new place (on more riskier grounds).
So in terms of disaster planning, try to stay close as much as reasonably possible.