LOL…VERY rarely is it the saas’s intention to better the sweet little daughter in law who is stealing away her pyara sa bacha.
Constructive criticism is showing someone how to do something and gently telling them in a manner that is not offensive or rude. Publicly humiliating her in front of people is not constructive criticism. Thats called being an a**.
My MIL did that when she saw me wearing anything nice. She would always make comments about me not matching or my shoes arent right or soemthing else. In the beginning, I fell for it. I would go to my room, change things around and ask her for her opinion several times…imagine how much fun she had at my expense. I stopped when I realized the things she suggested were so ugly…she deliberatly tried to make me look bad.
Kaka, these are ladies who have already been through the process…are twice our ages and know how the world works. They are not bholi bhali, nadaan or innocent in any way, shape or form. They’ve had and raised children. They know how to soften the blow - IF they wanted to. They know what will offend. They know how to talk to people because in their lifetime and even during the rishta process…they have to use and call on their social skills to appear nice and approachable. They have had MILs of their own and have lived in joint family systems. They’ve dealt with all of the same pressures they’re giving another woman.
Yet they still choose to act like a saas…but expect their DIL to act like their beti. 