I know someone who lives with her MIL. She has 2 main issues. 1) Her MIL is very sweet but in her sweet talk she sometimes throws in indirect criticisms and messages and because she has this meeti voice you never know whether you should defend yourself- or how to interrupt and stand up for yourself. Does anyone else have this issue and how do u deal with it withour being disresectful :S
2)Her MIL feels like girls who go to school do not know how to socialize or do housework.
Example: This is what my friend who has a degree from an American University wrote me: “Yesterday she was telling me about this lady in pakistan who didnt know how to cut a melon…MIL said ‘halakey ussne itna time school mein ni guzara’ i was like… ???” (notice MILs punch in a sweet story)
And this morning apparently she told my friend she’s peeling her apple the wrong way!! As if bcs of her education she has no idea how to peel an apple!
I thank Allah for making me the daughter of such a patient mother!!! Because now when I get married, I wouldn't be moaning about my MIL criticising how I peel an apple, because I really have seen my mother go through hell but she never complained.... not complaining is one thing but it makes my blood boil when I see mom giving them the respect and love that they don't even deserve.... not even the slightest bit of it.... So thanks mom for teaching me the meaning of being a muslim and the true meaning of patience!
Ammi...mujhe to apple bhi katna nahin ata...aap hi kaat lein na.
Ammi...mujhe to chai bhi banani nahin ati...apke haat ki chai kitni achi hoti hai lekin...aaj aap chai bana dein.
Ammi...apke bete kitne dinon se apni ammi ke haat ka khana khana chahrahe hein...acha huwa aap agayeen!
Most of the time, I have sincerely tried to learn from criticism though. I have actually paid attention to what she said and tried to do the same. Other times I can tell when Im being ridiculed and just give it right back.
But really my MIL (she is very very sweet), kept telling me in a nice way how i am not organized at all and my stuff is here and there.. (I live in a small apartment so I have to adjust according to the space I have).. I got really really sick of this one day and told her that I've cleaned my room so she can get in there and organize it and I'll keep up with it... She never did.. and she stopped saying it too.
She hated the fact that I didn't get up at 6 like her family does.. I woke up whnever I wnated to but then I just worked worked worked till I was in bed again.. taking care of her needs.. my husband's food etc.. I just love to sleep.. She visits her daughter.. who wakes up at 6 and sits around all day and does nothing.. doesn't do basic things for her own mom.. My MIL stopped saying stuff to me.
Spiral.. there you go.. unnecessary tareefan about your mil is not needed here dear.. just stick to the topic and be more helpful towards the original poster.
Spiral.. there you go.. unnecessary tareefan about your mil is not needed here dear.. just stick to the topic and be more helpful towards the original poster.
Well sir, If I have good things to say about my MIL, I will say it. I love her and she is sweet. You can ignore my posts if you are not comfortable with them and carry on reading the "i hate my MIL" threads. I praise my husband's mother and I will continue to do so.
umm is that how you response if someone asks you how are you?
Spiral.. there you go.. unnecessary tareefan about your mil is not needed here dear.. just stick to the topic and be more helpful towards the original poster.<<
Yes it will be exactly that kind of response if you are here to criticize my post for no reason.
Like most girls who may complain about MILs I don't think my friend hates her...It's just that sometimes expectations of mother in laws are so ridiculous..they feel they need to re-parent us and mold us into little versions of themselves. It's so important to smoothe out the MIL DIL relation because it can directly effects your marriage...if it were any other Auntie saying these things no one would care. So it's important to find a way to resolve these issues...I don't agree with MIL bashing either but I'm all for sharing issues to resolve them. :)
it is true that knife wont gonna cut the apple by itself, but even holding it in your hand wont gonna cut it to the level of perfection. even after many years my many rishetedar dont know how to cut an apple, let alone COOKING! (they are just kaam choor)
as Monet never painted like da Vinci, similarly there is no need to get personal about these things. instead we should work towards our communication skills and do our best to absorb their life-long experiences and convey our educational experiences.
in the morning my mom was saying you are a fine arts student, your should have precision when adjusting the bed sheet....abhi to yeh meri maa hai...i dont know what my MIL will be like :D
lol lol...i guess its all in the way you percieve things. my MIL is like famous in her family for being the reallly mean, assertive, condesending etc etc MIL. i'd heard sooo much abt her b4 the wedding that i was legit like ready to defend my life if i had to. i was expecting the absolute worst and i ended up getting such a sweet old lady who thinks she knows everything and its kinda cute when she talks cuz i just sit there n laugh. like i CANT take the things she says offensively cuz its just funny to me. i think she tries really hard to pick at me....liek calling me allll the way from pak n being like "dont use too much salt when u cook" and "oh you MUST be able to cook the basics by now right?" and "i'm sure he helps you in the kitchen so you guys must have some sort of a regular eating schedule". i dont' realize i was supposed to be offended at that stuff until AFTER the call ends cuz i just reply normal like "yeah ofcourse he helps me in the kitchen like every good hubby SHOULD" and "yeah i DO suck at cooking thats why we eat at 4 star restaurants all the time". i don't understand what the big deal is...i mean SO WHAT if the girl cant peel an apple? like WHO CARES just ignore it, laugh at it, agree. whatever. i mean if you really take so much pride in your apple peeling skills then you've got a serious problem and probably are in desperate need of a life! i can understand those comments must get annoying after a while but you should learn to get used to it n just ignore. i did live with MIL for 3 months after shaadi n it really wasnt bad at all. maybe i'm not a desified enough bahu to start fights just yet.