Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
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Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
would you give this man water..?
I wont! But Imagine if someone still does, what a devastating maut it would be for the guy. He will burn in hell for sure for his doings.
Btw, why dont u report him since u know he is residing illegaly?!
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
So you think your grandparents never loved you and treated you nicely?
Im not saying they didnt love us. But they didnt treat me and brothers the same way they treat their daughters kids. They have always favoured their daughers kids, and its apparent in everything they do and say. I never said I treated them badly, because thats not how I have been raised, but I still feel anger towards them for what they have done, and in that respect, I can feel the pain of Icesoul.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Im not saying they didnt love us. But they didnt treat me and brothers the same way they treat their daughters kids. They have always favoured their daughers kids, and its apparent in everything they do and say. I never said I treated them badly, because thats not how I have been raised, but I still feel anger towards them for what they have done, and in that respect, I can feel the pain of Icesoul.
Exactly the point I am trying to amke is that thats how things are suppose to be. We should be encouraging this kind of behaviour that even though u have issues with them you still are nice to them because they are your elders.
Not the kind of behaviour the OP posted and endorsing or condoning it.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
I understand your situation and that your dad's side of the family didn't treat their in-laws properly. You are right in harboring descent against them and that is all fine and I mean you still have a nice attitude towards them and kudos to you for doing that. I hope things turn out for the best for you.
If you don't mind me asking do you think your mamoos and your dad get some of the blame too ?
I completely put part of the blame on my mamoo's and my father. They should have stepped in from the beginning, and axed the behaviour from day one. Like I said before, my father just gives my mom empty tasalee, "you are the bigger person" "just have patience, you are in the right". And my mamoo's I have said are weak, they have no-back bone.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
I don't agree. I think it's mostly about the perception a mother gives to her children.
I doubt that.....
there is a remote possibility that your kids might have brains and feelings of their own.
my mother has never told me not to like my grandmother, or not to do things for her. I have my own eyes, I have my own ears, I have my own thought process. I see exactly what happens, i hear exactly what happens, I comprehend exactly what happens, I have formed my own opinions. Just like Im sure Icesoul was not told by his/her mother to hate the grandmother, it was the reaction to the behaviour they saw in their house. Hatred doesnt only come from what people tell you, it comes from your opinions based on your own experiences.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
You know how it works in desi families. Just keep the kids away from family politics.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
I don't agree. I think it's mostly about the perception a mother gives to her children.
Until you see the pain many of our mothers have gone through, no one can make a judgment about their parenting styles. Like Sara said, children are not stupid.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
^ Not stupid but highly influenced by their mothers. And i dont blame them cuz they spend most of their time with their mothers and fathers r not around to perphaps present the other side of the situation.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
did anybody ever stop to think that paternal family is always considered evil and maternal family is always the angels. i believe that the love/hate relations r always a two way street. its not possible that a dil is an angel and the mil is still treating her badly. unless mil is a mental case. or the the mil is taking revenge on dil from past family history.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Yeh insaniat hai?
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Woho.
First and foremost, you probably know only one side of the story. Not saying your mother lied to you BUT many a times one feels they were ill treated by the other while they were mere angels but this may not be the case in real. Secondly, she is your grandmother forget even that, she is a human how cud you have had treated her like that. It's beyond me SERIOUSLY! I can understand your dislike for her BUT acting like an animal with a human being is beyond my understanding atleast.
Goodluck with your kids. I would be very concerned if i had done what you did and its never too late to do taubah.
Very true i Agree
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Are you guys FREAKING kidding me ?? the guy didn't bother giving a dying woman water and some of you understand. I don't care what that woman did but this is just unacceptable behaviour. There is so much rant and hatred if a man swears at a woman let alone anything else and here someone denied a dying lady a glass of water and you guys are ok and understanding of that. This is just sad and pathetic.
Agreed
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Have you experienced this? What would do/have done?
My grandmother made my mother's life hell. And so, from the very beginning, me and my sister literally hated her. And the hate actually grew even as we grew up and she became seriously sick. So she never got any joy from grand kids at least. It came to this that in the end, I wouldn't even bring her water if she asked for it, and the day she died, I was more concerned about me missing an important test.
I know, I'm full of hate lol :p
wow..
There's something very unsettling about your nonchalance. Not bringing an incapacitated person water when they ask for it is crossing the line of humanity but perhaps it can be understood as a reflection of your deep disgust and anger. But to talk about it like this? This is just too surprising.
To Nadz scenario, I still would most likely end up getting that person water despite the fact that just reading what you wrote about him disgusts me.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Personally i find this Behaviour really really really rude and mean, seriously soooo sooo cruel!!!!! I mean a dying person asking for water and doesnt even get a glass of water like seriouslyy soooo cruel. Personally i don't care if someone's been really mean to you or your mum or whoever BUt that much of hatred is way way too much for anyone. Like i can't imagin how u can live with all that much hatred. I myself am not a really really kind person but seriously i can't ever ever imagin myself bein this cruel to anyone no matter what they did to me and/or my family. First of all, god is watching everything, not only it's a cruel behaviour towards someone BUt your gettin sooo much Gunnah for yourself. and Not just that, like i can't imagin living with guilt of not forgiving somone or not giving them water and having so much hatred for them in my heart even when they were dying like it's soooo cruel like literaly really cruel. I mean seriously i just can't understand how can anyone even be alive with that much hatred. My mum has actually suffered a lot too from her in-laws and trust me my mum's life was like hell, BUt to this day she never hated anyone in her in- laws and nor did my mom's side family ever did .. and once my brother he said " why do u still talk to your mother-inlaw" . and trust me my mum was sooo soo mad at my brother for saying that. she said " no matter what somone did, we should alwayz be nice towards others" and no she was not the kind of women who would suffer anything. BUt she said " you can dislike them or get mad at somone for being mean to u or whatever but NEVER hate anyone for whatever the reason maybe". And Now after like 16 yearz my mum's mother in law actually loves her and realises that she did wrong with my mom and really appereciates w/e my mum did for her and is proud of having my mum as a bahu . SO yea that's how i think of this kinda behaviour.... I mean u were more concerned of missing a test when she was dying like seriously? like how cruel can u be?.... seriously unbelivable!. LIke if your grandma was a really a mean person and made your mum's life miserable , yea i feel sorry for that, and it's acceptable disliking that kina person BUt hating someone to this extream is way too much especially when their dying. And if your grandma was a really horrible person then God will take care of that if she needs to be punished then she will be. anywayz I really hope YOu atleast feel sorry for your behaviour towards your gramma.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Okay, I dunno what's been said...didn't read much except the OP's post. But I've had my mother treated horrid by my father's side of the family. It was just hard to watch her go through that when I was so young. I feel your anger, and I feel the hatred you may hold for your grandma because I've been in that position, and I did actually end up saying a few words of my own to my grandmother about how she treated mum...but I would never have disrespected her in her dying days, and most important of all...I forgave her when I found out she didn't have much longer...no, I didn't go up to her and say it...but in my heart I had let go of any negative thoughts I held for her. I'm pretty sure I don't want to live with so much hatred for my fathers mother, but on top of that...I'm sure my mother wouldn't want me to hold that much hatred for ANYBODY where I can't even have the decency to hand over a glass of water. Needless to say, I mourned my grandmother's death despite finding out she messed things up further after her death.
Morals, and just a sense of humanity don't need to go out the window just for your parents, because no parent would wish that for their child. I'm not standing outside and judging you either. Just my two pence.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
next in lin..........did she you peole some stuff?? or just the lame accusations and gave all her belonging to your phoophos?? i expect that evil deed from her.........your mom n your family take care of her...and in the end she gives it all to the phopppooos...
She didn't have any stuff to give.