Have you experienced this? What would do/have done?
My grandmother made my mother’s life hell. And so, from the very beginning, me and my sister literally hated her. And the hate actually grew even as we grew up and she became seriously sick. So she never got any joy from grand kids at least. It came to this that in the end, I wouldn’t even bring her water if she asked for it, and the day she died, I was more concerned about me missing an important test.
I know, I’m full of hate lol 
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
i wonder if thing's have been different if it was the mom being mean to the grandmom.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
You really have a soul of ice!
Did you live with her? How did she treat you kids? Did your father ever say anything? And how did your mother make you treat her?
And are you ever scared of how your kids will treat YOUR mother?
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
I completely know what you are going through. My mother has been married to my father for 33 years, and has lived with her in laws (Im talking, FIL, MIL, 2 BIL's and 2 SIL's - and 2 SIL's married men from pakistan, so they lived in the house for a while!!!). She moved to Canada right after marriage, and was here for one year on her own with my dad before his whole family came. My dadi and popoh's treated her, and still treat her so badly. My mother has done everything for her throughout her life, and continues to do everything for her. But she treats my mother like crap! My older brother told me that when he was younger (I was too young to remember) one day when he was going to school my dadi and popohs told my mom to leave the house and never come back, and my brother said he was so scared to go to school, cause he was scared when he came back my mom wouldnt be there. My father just tells my mom, have patience, you are the bigger person, you can deal with it....but he cant exactly kick his parents out of the house. All this behaviour has made me really dislike my grandparents, because my dada treats my mom badly as well. The 2 Bil's have moved out with their families, 2 SIL's have moved into their own houses, but the 2 sil's come back often and stay here as much as possible, and call it "my grandmothers house". My grandmother had major surgery a few years back, and my mother took time off of work and learned from the home care nurse how to change her bandages and clean the incision, and she basically took care of everything. Her daughters (my popoh's) hardly even came to see their mother when she was recovering at home...and my dadi's excuse for them...."oh they have their own lives, and kids to take care of"....its like, everyone has a life, everyone has responsiblities!!! and the icing on the cake....on my engagement day, I was in my room with friends and cousins, and my dadi called me to her room, and infront of everyone who came with me (popoh, 2 cousins, 2 friends) she had the audacity to say "no matter how bad your mom or you treat me, my duas are always with you"....I was like "WHAT??????" you are the one who treats her so bad!!!! I didnt say anything at that time, cause I was embarrassed infront of all those people. Sorry, I have gone off into my own rant.
Just wanted to let you know, i know exactly what you went through!!!
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
You really have a soul of ice!
Did you live with her? How did she treat you kids? Did your father ever say anything? And how did your mother make you treat her?
And are you ever scared of how your kids will treat YOUR mother?
Ya, she lived with us and I think I hardly talked to her for 30 minutes combined in the last 10 years, so I'd say she treated us neither good nor bad.
Anyways, don't you think it's very hard to like someone if that someone is ruining your mother's life?
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Woah.......honestly thats too much hate
But I have noticed that if someone treats my mother badly that I do have a tendency to dislike them, even if they haven't done anything to me personally
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
i wonder if thing's have been different if it was the mom being mean to the grandmom.
Frankly, yes of course.
But that's human nature. For most people, there is no one more special than their mothers.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Ya, she lived with us and I think I hardly talked to her for 30 minutes combined in the last 10 years, so I'd say she treated us neither good nor bad.
Anyways, don't you think it's very hard to like someone if that someone is ruining your mother's life?
What about your dad? didn't he have a problem with how u treated his mom?
And ure right....it is very hard to like someone.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
What about your dad? didn't he have a problem with how u treated his mom?
And ure right....it is very hard to like someone.
Of course he had a problem. But what could he do? Anyways, he was/is so busy that he just doesn't have the energy to fight battles at home...:p
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Woho.
First and foremost, you probably know only one side of the story. Not saying your mother lied to you BUT many a times one feels they were ill treated by the other while they were mere angels but this may not be the case in real. Secondly, she is your grandmother forget even that, she is a human how cud you have had treated her like that. It's beyond me SERIOUSLY! I can understand your dislike for her BUT acting like an animal with a human being is beyond my understanding atleast.
Goodluck with your kids. I would be very concerned if i had done what you did and its never too late to do taubah.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Yup I know exactly what you're talking about. She ruined my Mom's life to the fullest, but my mom is the definition of strength and forgiveness so that got passed onto me and my sister too. But if we could go back in time, all three of us agree there is no reason to play nice with certain people in this world.
In your situation I completely understand the level of hate, since you had to see her everyday.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Woho.
First and foremost, you probably know only one side of the story. Not saying your mother lied to you BUT many a times one feels they were ill treated by the other while they were mere angels but this may not be the case in real.
Nope. It is as is. Because I saw it myself, no question of anyone telling me about it (lying or not).
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Are you guys FREAKING kidding me ?? the guy didn't bother giving a dying woman water and some of you understand. I don't care what that woman did but this is just unacceptable behaviour. There is so much rant and hatred if a man swears at a woman let alone anything else and here someone denied a dying lady a glass of water and you guys are ok and understanding of that. This is just sad and pathetic.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
It's strange how these lil old ladies can create so much havoc in families' lives. They remind me of people like dark lords of the sith. MashAllah sey, it seems like saimab33's granny has attained the rank of Emperor, like Darth Sidious. May the force be with your family saima.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Are you guys FREAKING kidding me ?? the guy didn't bother giving a dying woman water and some of you understand. I don't care what that woman did but this is just unacceptable behaviour. There is so much rant and hatred if a man swears at a woman let alone anything else and here someone denied a dying lady a glass of water and you guys are ok and understanding of that. This is just sad and pathetic.
Wow, You are like I denied water to some woman on her deathbed. She just asked the frekin maid :p
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Are you guys FREAKING kidding me ?? the guy didn't bother giving a dying woman water and some of you understand. I don't care what that woman did but this is just unacceptable behaviour. There is so much rant and hatred if a man swears at a woman let alone anything else and here someone denied a dying lady a glass of water and you guys are ok and understanding of that. This is just sad and pathetic.
^ This! Doesn't matter what someone does to you, basic/minimal human decency is still owed to that person. You may not respect that person, but Allah says we must treat our relatives with sileh-rehmi.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
Are you guys FREAKING kidding me ?? the guy didn't bother giving a dying woman water and some of you understand. I don't care what that woman did but this is just unacceptable behaviour. There is so much rant and hatred if a man swears at a woman let alone anything else and here someone denied a dying lady a glass of water and you guys are ok and understanding of that. This is just sad and pathetic.
Thank-you. I thought i was the only one out here who found this behavior very disturbing :(.
Re: Mother being treated badly by grandmother (her MIL)
It's strange how these lil old ladies can create so much havoc in families' lives. They remind me of people from the dark lords of the sith. MashAllah sey, it seems like saimab33's granny has attained the rank of Emperor, like Darth Sidious. May the force be with your family saima.
:D