most of my cousins got married at 16!!

nadz123 · April 23, 2009, 3:06pm

or some were 15 even, ( in pak obviosuly) AND they all seem pleased with that fact. and im now 23 getting married in july which i find an apporpriate age, and they all keep saying how im a buddi…and its about time i was married…these girls are now my age, so they all got 2 kids etc.but its so patronising cos i feel being 23 is quite young..my workmates who are all gorey are shocked, they say im a baby and that im geting married to quickly.i come home, and i get haii agi buddi kab shadi karegi, time nikal jayga godd sake…
its soo anoying…people talk about unmarried girls all the time. i have a friend whose 29 and unmarried and the amount of crap she has to go through is unbeleiveble..

so why is it in our culture being married at 15/16 is considered a good age, and if your above 22 and not maried then god help you.im actually getting married cos of my age, and the tension and stress you see parents go through, so i thought might as well…

RupayHalwa · April 23, 2009, 3:10pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

The earlier you get married, the more time you have to make babies, the more babies you make, the more you are valued in society.

The older you get, the less optimised your baby making ability gets.

Simple.

NJMasti · April 23, 2009, 4:01pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

nadz123:

or some were 15 even, ( in pak obviosuly) AND they all seem pleased with that fact. and im now 23 getting married in july which i find an apporpriate age, and they all keep saying how im a buddi......and its about time i was married....these girls are now my age, so they all got 2 kids etc.but its so patronising cos i feel being 23 is quite young..my workmates who are all gorey are shocked, they say im a baby and that im geting married to quickly.i come home, and i get haii agi buddi kab shadi karegi, time nikal jayga godd sake.... its soo anoying...people talk about unmarried girls all the time. i have a friend whose 29 and unmarried and the amount of crap she has to go through is unbeleiveble..

so why is it in our culture being married at 15/16 is considered a good age, and if your above 22 and not maried then god help you.im actually getting married cos of my age, and the tension and stress you see parents go through, so i thought might as well.......

LOL nadz - so ALL the questions you have been asking so far could have also answered by your 15/16 year old cousins! of course now you do look like a buddhi asking for silly answers.

just find a budda soon - or no more will be left

hahahahahhhh

kurripunjaban · April 23, 2009, 4:11pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

next time they call you a buddhi just simply say something along the lines of 'its not my fault your parents didnt love you and wanted to get rid of you as soon as possible' :D

mysti · April 23, 2009, 4:18pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

LOL! lekin NJMasti if it wasnt for her questions and the silly answers we would have lacked soo much entertainment in Life1!!

prototype · April 23, 2009, 4:28pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

I think we should have a separate nadz123 forum for all her threads :D

mehr · April 23, 2009, 4:28pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

@-kurripunjaban

nadz123 · April 23, 2009, 4:30pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

I couldnt ask them, i do not like **them...if i **liked them i would not be complaining about them
and feel free to open up my own forum...thatd be greatttttttt

NJMasti · April 23, 2009, 4:45pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

lol - no nadz - I think you have GRADUATED. You are DONe with your first night questions.

LOL

Maybe when you have kids - then we'll open up a new thread only under YOUR name

lol

nadz123 · April 23, 2009, 4:52pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

cant wait for the first night....only so that i can come back here and moan my head off with a new post of how pathetically overrated it is and all my years of opening threads on gupshup getting all excited and tense, all ended,
il be back here with a new thread was that it?( regarding first nightsssss)

notorious · April 23, 2009, 5:26pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

Your age is a better age for marriage. I was married off at 18. My mind was actually all set on finishing school, getting the education level I wanted and only after education be married and then work a few years before becoming a parent. I would have wanted to get married at age 23-26 and become a mother at age 25-30. But instead, everything happened too soon and with someone who didn't match me, I obeyed my family and as a result I couldn't do anything with my life that I really wanted.

So, don't listen to family members telling you that you are too "buddi", you have the normal age. As long as you are fine with it, let everyone talk. And gaurey often think that everything we do is not normal, well, they are right about us sometimes, but not in everything.

My mother got married at 16 too. But that was in past ages. And she was happy with it since she didn't have any desire to study further. Each situation is different, each person is different. What's good for one person isn't necesarily good for another person.

amir_pindi · April 23, 2009, 5:26pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

i know some girls who got married at 9

beat that one

NJMasti · April 23, 2009, 5:51pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

lol

i can beat that one!

i know someone (not personally - thank God) who got married to a frog when she was BORN!

beat that!

amir_pindi · April 23, 2009, 5:59pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

I know someone who got married before they were born
Some families are so planned!

Cant beat that..

zobia · April 23, 2009, 6:06pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

lol. ask them to get their daughters marry at the age of 15. takay record na tootay :)

well they are still a kid...and their mind cant process like a grown up...why is that? cuz their parents never gave em enough right or trust to make any decision of their life. and now their life string is in another person's hands.

so try to understand those girls.

btw, if u ever get the opportunity do as them that if they were not married till the age of 23, what things they would had accomplished?

Sara516 · April 23, 2009, 9:22pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

nadz123:

or some were 15 even, ( in pak obviosuly) AND they all seem pleased with that fact. and im now 23 getting married in july which i find an apporpriate age, and they all keep saying how im a buddi......and its about time i was married....these girls are now my age, so they all got 2 kids etc.but its so patronising cos i feel being 23 is quite young..my workmates who are all gorey are shocked, they say im a baby and that im geting married to quickly.i come home, and i get haii agi buddi kab shadi karegi, time nikal jayga godd sake.... its soo anoying...people talk about unmarried girls all the time. i have a friend whose 29 and unmarried and the amount of crap she has to go through is unbeleiveble..

so why is it in our culture being married at 15/16 is considered a good age, and if your above 22 and not maried then god help you.im actually getting married cos of my age, and the tension and stress you see parents go through, so i thought might as well.......

Actually it's not anymore, at least not that i know of.

In the past, 15/16 was a good age b/c ppl didnt live very long anyways (okay we're talking WAYYYYYYY back in da day).

Also, I guess at that age ur at ur physical peak to have babies..and since traditionally women were encouraged to have babies and be wives/mothers rather than be educated and develop their careers.

As for today, why:

The family may be poor. and while we may recoil at that idea, that marriage should be only for love, that daughters should be educated and work, that's not the reality for many. So hence getting married young. If they see that they cannot provide her with a decent life, in terms of money or even quality, for them the best/easiest option is marriage.. rather than education/work. Sad but true.

The parent may be sick and wants to see their child settled before htey die?

And, i think, the worst reason of all, the parents think the daughter is either showing signs of going out of control (oo she liked a boy! she wore lipstick!) so they marry her quickly so that she wont go out. I heard about this one girl who was married at 16...later found out she was cheating on her hubby (to what extent idk)..sad :(

BlindHope · April 23, 2009, 9:37pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

my great grandmother who is masallah still alive (Allah un ko lambi umaar day)

she got married when she was 12

Sara516 · April 23, 2009, 9:38pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

My daadi too.. at age 12. I think my mother in law was around 15 as well. uss zamanay mein tha.

Straight_up · April 23, 2009, 9:40pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

^ Wow. Some fascinating marriage incidences here. Twelve, fourteen, before birth, to a frog. Nice.

nadz123 · April 23, 2009, 10:08pm

Re: most of my cousins got married at 16!!

my SIL got married to my cousin because he had a british passprt...otherwise theres no in HELL she would have married him....what people do for passports.....amazing..