Most EVILLLL MIL EVER!!! I feel horrible for the poor girl!!!!

Lifestyle Relationships
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**Okay so I just need to rant. **

**My mom’s cousin or whatever got married to a girl from Pakiland. His mother went over there and choosed her and everything and then they brought her here. They would always call us and say that she was horrible no respect blah blah blah. Now, for the first year or so we believed that, but after that we started seeing the true situation. The girl comes from a poor family. Her husband is a cartoon, as in a nerd who never sticks up for his wife. She was never given any zevar for her wedding, she gets hand me down clothes from her SIL’s that are at least 10 years old! And it doesn’t even stop there!! The dude tried to sit by his wife and his mom was all like “(Name), aisey ghande bachoon ke jaise kyun bait re ho. Chalo ider ao,” when he wanted to sit with HIS WIFE!!! They wouldn’t even let them sit in the car together!!! Now they have a kid, and she has been here for about 5-6 years so she is def. a citizen now, but the thing is, they don’t give her the greencard passport anything, and are all like, “Oh if you want to go to Pakistan you’ll have to go yourself and leave the boy here.” They never give her any money, she is not allowed to call anyone, no cell phone, DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HER HUSBAND’S CELL PHONE NUMBER, not allowed to go outside or talk to anyone, and they tell all their neighbors she is INSANE!!! **

Now both SIL have went to colleges, gotten degrees, and gotten married. One is married to a doctor, the second got a divorce because her husband saw what their family was like and got the heck outa there, so now they just badmouth him. Their brother also was married, then got divorced at the say of the bride, and got married again and is now seperated because the second wife told us that he “changed” and started hitting her and stuff, and when she tries to call his parents, they don’t pick up. The girls husband is some type of computer degree, but they won’t even let him buy CHOCOLATES FOR HER!!

I know I shouldn’t get involved and blah blah blah, but I feel like I need to do something to help! Anytime we bring anything, the churail SIL’s say “Oh (name) you don’t need that, give it to us we can use it!” It is driving me insane that in THIS DAY AND AGE PEOPLE COULD BE LIKE THIS!!! IT PISSES ME OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!

I just don’t know what to do cause NO ONE should have to put up with that!

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:eek:

Evil indeed!

You should definitely try to help, if someone tells u that its not ur business, then they’re the insane ones.

Help the poor girl!

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Re: Most EVILLLL MIL EVER!!! I feel horrible for the poor girl!!!!

May Allah help her through all this!!

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Re: Most EVILLLL MIL EVER!!! I feel horrible for the poor girl!!!!

oh i thought only my MIL is evil but this is just crazy may god bless her n she should atleast somehow inform her family..................

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Hey Ria,

How is the girl's relationship with her own parents? I wonder if there is any way for you to get their number and maybe contact them. Although maybe that won't do any good. Her family will get upset and will call up her in-laws.....and the in-laws will get mad and mistreat her more. Could also cause problems for your family.

If you report to the appropriate authorities (social services perhaps).....they would require some sort of evidence of abuse. And this girl's in-laws can give the authorities/social worker a false appearance of being a happy family. Could there be a way for you to sneak in......distract the in-laws....and get a word with the girl or give her a message.........or maybe taping some evidence of abuse somehow.

Even if her husband is a wimp who can't stand up..........does he at least love her or care about her? Is there somebody from your family (such as your dad or brother, etc) who meet with this poor girl's husband in private and reason with him somehow? Maybe talk to him.....using Islamic references........guilt him into developing some balls and stand up to his mother............or perhaps you can blackmail him somehow????

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:omg:..:omg:.

u know what i mean ? :smiley:

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*My family really doesn't care about theirs. I mean, my mom and my nano who is their relation in the first place hate all of them. The thing is, her family back home isn't that well off, so thereis nothing they can do. *

We went there last year when she first had her son, and she had started ignoring them all then. I don't know what sort of distraction would work. Believe me I have thought of trying to do something, but I just don't know what!

As for her husband, I'm not even sure if he loves her anymore. Last time we went, they barely talked to each other, and he was only on his laptop. I mean, sure I guess he cares about her, but the MIL and SIL's are so slick that they have COMPLETLY brainwashed him, like with the mentality of a 5 year old! It always sickens me to see this. Then they hide it from everyone else too like the othe SIL's husband and everyone. Even the neighbors, so I just don't know.

*I know USCIS has a thing where you can call them if someone is holding your greencard or something, but I know these people, and they will be like "oh we didn't do anything. SHe is just so ungrateful etc." They always try to one up our family and try to seem better. I had thought that the second wife of the other bro might have been able to help, but even she couldn't stay and her family is well off, she is a nurse, and they are all educated and nice people! They have literally turned her into a less than dirt slave and it just makes me so sad cause she is so nice and sweet! *

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Hmmm......

Maybe this will sound crazy but how about befriending the husband? Not you...but perhaps your dad. I get that you guys don't like him.....but......fake it. Not hang out with him once.....but several times. Maybe he'll feel guilty/motivated when he's surrounded by guys who are men.....who might encourage him to treat his wife better. I'm not saying that he should be lectured on how to be a better husband. A lecture would backfire big time, I think. But maybe....in sneaky little ways.....with the right choice of words....they can get him to act like more of a man. And maybe they can show him how a wife should be treated.

He seems like a guy who is whipped by his mom and sisters. Maybe he doesn't have many positive friends to learn from. And his only...cough...."role model" is mummy the monster. He may not be crazy about the guy's in your family such as your dad......but maybe you don't have to use your dad in this experiment. You could ask other guys....those that you trust and will play along (do some acting...get a drama with a good cause going)......to help you out. What do you think? Is the plan too crazy and out there?

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yes atleast usay islamic lecture sunao ke wife ke kiya haqooq hain..

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Re: Most EVILLLL MIL EVER!!! I feel horrible for the poor girl!!!!

I'll be completely honest here ! there is nothing anyone can do to change that girl's life. if the husband is not willing to change himself and if he doesn't love her or his child then no one can do anything to put love in his heart . It's the truth the bitter truth. I just wonder why hasn't the girl's family has never taken any step like talking with the family may be because they are in the other country. But I can tell u that people who are so evil don't change in 1 day. They can never learn they can never change. Only God can teach them a lesson ! I think only the girl can a step for herself if she has soo much of strength.

May Allah Help Her Ameen !

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Kinzz some people are brought up in a way to realize huqooq of only parents & siblings. wife and children comes in last category. These type of people mold islamic teachings according to their own benefits they 'll take what is in their favour while ignore the rest.

I can guarantee that even islamic teachings will not work on them they'll find an excuse to ignore them and will make themselves look right !

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i just HATEEEEEEEEE this part...so they are using her son to black mail her????????

may be the girl is NOT telling about this to her family coz she thinks they will send back her to her country and will keep her son?????

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:(

may ALLAH bless her...

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Re: Most EVILLLL MIL EVER!!! I feel horrible for the poor girl!!!!

Perhaps you could befriend the girl to give her some moral support and help her cope. I'm sure she's looking for someone to talk to.

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Re: Most EVILLLL MIL EVER!!! I feel horrible for the poor girl!!!!

i don't understand it. don't these MIL's realize that they're going to get old too? and who's going to take care of them when they can't even clean their own mouth after eating? certainly not the son, and definitely not the grandchildren after they witnessed how their own grandmother treated their mom. it all comes down to the DIL. and what if she finally decides to treat her MIL like crap after all the things she put her through in her old age. that's not the time to be mistreated, no matter what culture you come from.

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Re: Most EVILLLL MIL EVER!!! I feel horrible for the poor girl!!!!

Some women are just evil.

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good thinking !

I too wonder that ! I also think about the husbands who never do good to wives or the children .Time is ever changing nothing is constant. We all will go to our death beds and when it will be the time for them I wonder if anybody will take care of them with love and respect and will they die with a clean heart ! i dont know......

I can't think of dying with a burden of putting someone through so much pain and agony , atleast I can never die in peace after doing all that ! so I wonder would these MILs will ever regret / would they die peacefully ?

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Re: Most EVILLLL MIL EVER!!! I feel horrible for the poor girl!!!!

The daughter in-law may have been poor but the MIL and SILs are the really paindoos. Actually, not even paindoos, they're inhumane.

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Re: Most EVILLLL MIL EVER!!! I feel horrible for the poor girl!!!!

Now just imagine what this woman would have been like when she was a DIL.

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Re: Most EVILLLL MIL EVER!!! I feel horrible for the poor girl!!!!

Poor MIL. She has an insane DIL. Such a tragedy to the family.