Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
Two choices:
1- No response at all. But this 'may' not work. It may send a false message that you do not mind these messages. So you should wait for a while before responding.
2- Response to him telling that the copy of his all messages will be sent to his wife/your sister. With that send him good advice including some religious material.
Avoid personal appearance to him forever.
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
What if you got fraped?
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
the most appropriate solution in my opinion is that you deactivate your account....tell everyone it got hacked so u had to deactivate it....if you can don't use fb for sometime.....then setup a new account and never add him , even if he does don't confirm his request.
This way you will give this situation sometime too and your BIL will get the message too. Your sister is way too important than your fb account and networking.
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
^Her fb account is the lesser problem. Closing your eyes doesn't mean the problem has vanished.
The main one is that her BIL (if he is responsible for this) is a big perverted jerk.
If not his SIL, he'll find someone else. On facebook, people are only a click away.
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
^ agree it's not the fb account that is the issue it's her BIL. But this is an extremely sensitive situation any wrong step can have very bad affect oh her sister's marriage and her own reputation. People are very quick at blaming woman for seducing or motivating a guy for doing such perverted acts nobody tries to judge fairly.
It's already her sister's 2nd marriage and blame will very easily go on her and her sister.
It's true that she will find out sooner or later because I am sure her BIL must be hitting on other women too but let the situation settle in a way in which he becomes the one to be blamed.
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
Come on don't judge the bloke so harshly. He must have taken the 'sali adhi ghar wali' thing rather literally. There is a thread floating about on the subject, the proper meaning of the statement is still under discussion, until that is finalized (or diwana gives the final verdict on it) we are in no position to judge him.
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
You say he has done this twice. Have you saved these messages. Please take a screen shot of this as well for future. You never know when you might need it !!
Normally I would say, expose him, Since you guys live in different countries, this time I feel you just have to turn a blind eye for some time at least.
Imagine if your best friend told you that your husband tried to hit on her. Wht would you do ???
I know ignoring this can only be a temp solution. If he has tried this with you, I must say then he is bold enough to try with other women too. Which ever clicks might be his motto !!! Or he must have thought tht you would be safe as you wont tell on him as you are his SIL.
What could happen when you do tell on him , is that he might say that you were giving him "hints" and try to bring you down to save his own ass. Trust me that's how he will respond. Things might turn sour between you and your sister. Or when you tell your sister, she might be completely shocked and might choose to ignore it herself but then every time she is around you she might feel inferior/ ashamed/uncomfortable etc etc....Things could get awkward
Is your sister financially/ emotionally/ socially dependent on him ? Would your parents be willing to support her should things turn ugly ? You don't just drop a bomb like this and expect no result. It will create some waves. Could you tell your parents about this ? They can help guide you better !!!
Re: moral/ethical issue… sisters marriage.
Gosh, what is the world coming to :hinna:
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
I can understand that you are very disturbed because this is not just something that is hurting you but can hurt your sister as well. I think you can send him a message and say: "I want to tell you bhai that someone is using your account and he has sent me a message which im sure you will never send to me".And tell him to be aware and not let others know his password...something like this so he gets your "answer" but in a indirect way.
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
How is he treating your sister??
You said he is away, not in the country you are. then i suggest you keep quite and delete him from your facebook.
And start talking to your sister more, ask her how is her husband treating her. If he is treating her nice, stay away from your BIL,
as far as possible. Are you married? If not, i think once you get married he'll come back on track. Be as formal to him as possible, even in front of your family, and better tell your mother about it, at least.
Don;t forget to give a shut up call if he msgs you again.
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
Guys, there is a child involved. She cannot be passive. She needs to tell her sister what kind of guy she could be marrying. The child could be t risk.
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
Guys, there is a child involved. She cannot be passive. She needs to tell her sister what kind of guy she could be marrying. The child could be t risk.
They're already married.
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
Guys, there is a child involved. She cannot be passive. She needs to tell her sister what kind of guy she could be marrying. The child could be t risk.
They're already married, a second marriage and subsequent second divorce would be devastating.
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
what a douche, tell your sister...screenie the messages and get it over with. why? because it's better that she leaves the prick now rather than wait around a couple of years when he decides to hit on somebody else because you didn't go for it. it'll be much harder for her then, when she's used to him being there...when her kid gets to know his step dad, yknow?
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
Didn't realize they were already married. Then even more is at stake, for that child, if for no one else.
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
what a douche, tell your sister...screenie the messages and get it over with. why? because it's better that she leaves the prick now rather than wait around a couple of years when he decides to hit on somebody else because you didn't go for it. it'll be much harder for her then, when she's used to him being there...when her kid gets to know his step dad, yknow?
absolutely.
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
They're already married, a second marriage and subsequent second divorce would be devastating.
Honestly, too bad for her. But she will have to deal with the twice divorced stigma for the sake of her child. The alternative is not an option.
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
the kid is his, it is from the second marriage not from the first (the first marriage only lasted 6 months, and the divorce was not her fault...) this time around she would have a kid involved, and it would be the stigma of a second divorce she's only 29 years old and I don't think anybody would be kind and willing to take the risk to marry her again, its going to really stab my parents... I was thinking along the same lines that he may have got fraped butttt knowing his personality this could be him i mean it would be very likely. when they lived here he was emotionally abusive to her and stuff, and things were already not so ok between them, and this was before they moved away. he acts very charming in public and nobody would ever think his home face matches his social face...but they are far away I have blocked him from my wall and stuff but I do believe he might be doing this so he can stir up trouble if the case is this really is his message, hard to tell because he is so far away don't have body language and stuff like that to go by, didn't try anything like that here, but he was only here for a little while...so everybody is suggesting i tell her?
Re: moral/ethical issue... sisters marriage.
Well, hopefully the kid is ok, then, but having a jerk for a father must suck.
If it comes out later that you didn't say anything, what then? Can you talk to your parents?
Re: moral/ethical issue… sisters marriage.
Don’t tell your sister. Until and unless he acts upon it, or tries to flirt with you when u two meet, there’s no point in disturbing her peace once again. He made a mistake, a BIGGGG one, but I would let it go. :hinna: Why is this world full of A-holes??? 