Re: Moral/ethical dilemma - what should I do?
Omg this is sad. Poor girl that's been caught in the middle of all of this.
Re: Moral/ethical dilemma - what should I do?
UPDATE-
My Bil disappeared from home for weeks and wouldn't pick up phone calls or respond to messages. I have no idea how, but one of my nands found out where his girlfriend works and went to see her (she works in a retail store, so going in to talk to her is as easy as walking into the store). She just walked up to her, introduced herself and told her that Bil is married, has been for almost 2 years, and showed her some of their wedding pictures. We don't know what ensued between Bil and girlfriend but a few days later he came back home. His parents told him they were buying him a ticket and he was going to pick up his wife. He kept saying that fine he would bring her here but he wants to tell her about his girlfriend so she can decide what she wants to do. He said they were no longer together but he doesn't want it coming out later (my husband told me he was sure he was just saying this to make his wife divorce him and transfer the guilt to her). Everyone in the family insisted that he didn't say anything to her and just start fresh. Anyway, he was refusing to give his passport to my in laws so they couldn't book the ticket.
Finally my nands husband (who everyone respects a lot - so Bil couldn't even fight with him) sat him down and asked him point blank - do you want to be with your wife or not? If not, we will get you divorced. But you need to make a decision and stick to it. But if you want to stay with her just start fresh. Bil said yes, I want to make it work with her.
Ok great! Everyone is happy! Bil tells mil he wants to go to Pakistan alone (without mil), which is very weird. Everyone knows that Bil can't face his in laws alone or won't stay with any relatives alone either. But he told mil he wants to go alone. My husband told my in laws, he is not going to go. Don't buy a ticket, don't get this girls hopes up. My mil insisted saying he has changed. She bought him a ticket and his wife a ticket. Told sil in Pakistan that her husband is coming to get her. Told her to quit her job and wrap everything up.
3 days before he is supposed to leave he disappears. Won't answer phone calls or texts. The day before he is supposed to leave he messages one of my nands and says his girlfriend forgave him, he is moving in with her and he is not going to Pakistan. He also told her that he told his wife about his girlfriend. No one know what thto wife's response was as he didn't tell my nand and the wife isn't talking to anyone.
My in laws keep trying to speak with the girls family but they are not answering their calls. They even go as far as to pick up the phone and hang up without saying anything. It's totally understandable that they are pissed. They told a mutual friend of my in laws that they want my in laws and Bil to come to Pakistan and speak with them to resolve this and they want their daughter to go with her husband. What????
When my husband told me this information I said there is no way they know exactly what is going on. Why would they send their daughter if they know that Bil is living with his gf and has no intention of maintaining a relationship with his wife? They are either in denial or in a very desperate situation that they would be willing to send their daughter to a loveless unfaithful marriage.
Just wanted to update you all on the situation.
Wow...just wow, what an ass, a coward to the very end. Karma is going to be a when later in life that girl friend will break up with him. "she forgave him" that will linger on in there relationship.