Moms & Maids

Check this out. They made this video that one should give a day off to maids etc but if you see maids know a lot about kids as compared to mothers. What a shame. They are the one raising them at the end of the day. I am not against working ladies or career oriented women but when you put your kids either in day care or left them with grandparents, half the time you don’t even know if they are eating or not & what they had today. What they want to become when they grow up? You popped up a kid so strangers can raise it so you can have your career. I am not talking about those ladies who are balancing both worlds quite well, good for them , but sometimes I think its just next to impossible.What you guys think?

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Please tell and show this to @Ess_Emm because she thinks life is a fairy tale and she’s so intellectual to live and consider everybody else in the world like that.

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Yes, it’s quite the shame when fathers can’t even tell which class their child is in.

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Why is all this 100% the mother’s responsibility? Did the mother conceive the baby through a miracle without a sperm? Where is the father? You are right that the mother went through pregnancy, delivered the baby, recovered from giving birth and all that. Many women have pregnancies full of problems and horrible deliveries that literally changes their body forever. What did the father do while the woman was doing all this?

How many fathers know what their child ate that day for lunch? How many fathers know what their child’s favorite song/food/color is OR what the child’s bed time routine is? How many father’s know how to soothe their child when the child cries? Go do any pediatrician’s office and see how many fathers are sitting in the waiting room compared to the number of mothers. Talk to ANY elementary school teachers and ask them who they talk to more…the father or the mother. The list goes on and on.

Why do we automatically expect the mother to “compromise”? Why don’t we expect a father to re-arrange his priorities and spend more time at home? If a mother is failing to balance her home life and career to the point where the children are being raised by strangers…why don’t we shame the fathers for allowing it to happen? What’s preventing the father from saying “Ok well since you insist on having a career…you support the family. I will take a break from my career and help raise our child and go back to work after a few years.”.

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At least I don’t blame every single thing on one gender and pretend that the other gender is the perfect being in the entirety of the universe. At least I am intellectual (thanks for calling me that btw. I take pride in my education and life experiences). At least I have the common sense to see the world as it is…grey…not black and white. At least I have the guts to call a spade and spade, and not wish someone death just because they disagreed with me.

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you ladies assumed on your own that father doesn’t know anything either lol.

feminism at its peak.
Have fun.
:flowers:

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LOL…already throwing out the F word huh? A very predictable response when faced with simple questions regarding the unequal treatment women face when it comes to marriage/raising children. Easy to bash women for their choices but too difficult to defend men for theirs. No worries…not the first time we’ve seen this here. :slight_smile:

Whilst I agree that woman have always got the short end of the stick and had to do more work than the husbands in domestic affairs, it’s not as rampant or widespread as some of you are making it out to be. I can only speak for my own family then again (extended and immediate). My parents were nothing short of 50/50 in raising us. Both were working parents

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Seems like you only read posts where you can make an intellectual point and you still haven’t replied to my response to the other post yet. I hope you’re brushing your intellectualism and once it will be ready you’ll respond, I really hope you do.

And do you know Allah says there’s going to be more women in hell than men. That’s why I feel it important as a Muslim to help my sisters to understand how important that line is.

As far as respect of female gender is concerned I think I’ve called men psychopath, douche-bags, emotionally unstable, stupid, mentally sick and I don’t know what else but I never used any bad words for female gender. And If I have that has a context behind it.

So if you think you’re intellectual which no doubt you’re because you’re so proud of it, can you please tell me what do you call to a person when he/she reads only a couple of posts written by a particular person and decides that particular person is bad without even knowing them personally?

I think you’re shy, isn’t it? Well intellectual people call it judging someone and that is considered a real bad thing in intellectual communities.

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women* :disgust:

haven’t watched the yt vid, but agree with midnight. from what i know and see men take more responsibility in terms of household interests and that’s a product of changing society. yes, it does depend where you’re talking about but i would say in a progressive, likely western country this would not be as big an issue.

having said that, ultimately a mother has much more of an influence on her kids than a father could have.

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I think regardless of careers or not, women should prioritise their child’s welfare. There’s nothing to say that professional/working women cannot do so. Otherwise you end up with kids who in a effort to get their mothers attention, get up to all sorts. This applies for father’s too though. I know a lot of people, who due to a lack of their father’s presence in the home due to work commitments, have gone off the rails in a cry for attention.

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Yes the father should know about his kids and should be a part of their lives. He should raise them as well as he can and know what and who they are as people. BUT the mother will ALWAYS have the burden of responsibility of raising children despite this. I’m talking from an Islamic perspective. The father is important but the mother is the one beneath whose feet is jannah. There is a reason why the prophet pbuh said first is your mother, second is mother, third is mother and THEN it is father. Its just how Allah has made women and men. Raising children is ultimately the mothers job. There is no sexism or shame in saying that. It is mothers who raise nations. They are the foundation of mankind. A mother can do what a father can’t. Its just the natural way of things. Yes a woman can have a job and personal life if she can handle it, I’m not against that. I think it makes more sense when women have their own children. Its just something, a feeling, Allah put in us.

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Since father doesn’t know - mother shouldn’t need to either. Am I getting it right?

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Saw this video on FB and I thought to myself- this sounds like the life of most upper middle class ladies in Middle East and Pakistan. While they have resources to hire help, I do think that some of them tend to treat servants badly and kids end up getting the short end of the stick due to inattention by parents.

Inshallah I’m hoping to raise my kids myself. While I may not be there ever morning for breakfast, or attend every PTA meeting, I’m planning to spend atleast 1-2 hours everyday with them talking about their day. Working in the field that I am, I have been reminded on a daily basis how beneficial it is to them

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Well clearly Allah didn’t put this feeling inside EVERY women. Otherwise we wouldn’t need to constantly remind women how they’re screwing up their responsibilities by wanting a career.

No. Go back and re-read. The point is why don’t we ever questions fathers for their choices when it comes to their children? We’re very quick to point out everything a wife/mother does that’s hurting her marriage and destroying her children’s lives. Why don’t we analyze the fathers behaviors the same way since after all, the father did play a role in bringing those children into this world.

Focus is always on how a woman popped out the baby. Do we not know how that baby got inside that mother in the first place?

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I haven’t watched the video, OP, but I can see where you’re coming from. I don’t think that working parents will never ever get to know what profession their kid wants to have in the future…because that’s a matter that will come up often…as in kids will display their interests throughout your life so you will find out sooner or later. But if I have a child and I am not required to work…I’d rather take time off and be with my child. Those early years are so important and I wouldn’t want to miss out on that. I can admit that the idea of someone else witnessing those milestones ..while I missed them…would bug me.

About women going through labor pains and having their figures bent out of shape…that can’t be helped can it? It’s out of your control and it’s inevitable…so what good comes from begrudging the husbands for not being the ones to experience the various pains of pregnancy/labor/after-birth when they are physically not designed for it…so why make that a point of contention? In a team…both persons don’t have to be doing the same exact task. Often times they work on two different tasks that are part of one final end-goal. So, if one partner is more aware of bed-time routines and favorite cartoon shows…it’s not like the other partner is sitting on their butt doing nothing at all to contribute toward the well-being of their family…they’re helping out in other ways. And maybe this is a silly argument…but even the busiest of dads…will eventually learn what their kids’ interests and likes and dislikes are…unless they are literally never at home.

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watch.

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Watched it. :frowning:

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Oh no!!! Not again. I want MIL threads back.

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hmm
I thought it was good, that some one genuinely loved kids, when moms could not give them time.