Mom saying stuff about your friends

[Sara516]

Re: Mom saying stuff about your friends

@Princejall

ok, u are right and i am wrong. You win. Happy? What if that girl is sexually involved ? What if aunties are right? Sex is a very Private thing. People do not do it in public. At the same times, may be, aunties are twisting this situation. It means there is always uncertainty. You have no Proof. I have no Proof. But You have written a “lambi chitthi” on this issue as if u are 100% sure that those aunties are wrong… Her mother is concerned, she just do not want her daughter to be around with notorious People (acording to aunties, i am nt saying, aunties are right or wrong) .Also whether her friend is sexually involved or not ,but bf/gf is not allowed in our Religion. Simple. In my opinion, this matter is complicated. I do not want to suggest anythng cz i do nt know the ground realities. Also, i will nt give benefit of doubt to her friend, cz this matter is serious., it is not a game. A serious complicated matter

1. Why is it anyone’s concern if she’s sexually active? It’s between her, Allah, and whoever she marries, not her friends, not some random aunty who has too much time on her hands.

2. How is it such a complicated matter? No one’s forcing you to have a bf/gf, or have sex with someone. You don’t want one, that’s great. You think that’s a dealbreaker in a friendship, that’s your right. Other than that, not sure what makes this a “serious complicated matter.”

@usernamepassword

My question.

What is the suggested course of action that the mother should have followed - as per you people? What would you do if it came to your knowledge that your daughters bff is sleeping around?

1. Ignore and forget
2. Consider it - but shutup and don’t cause anguish to the daughter
3. Talk to the daughter about what she has heard - without certain accusation
4. She was right in what she actually did

as long as it isn’t my child, why should I have a cow over what her friends do? It’s one thing, when kids are young, to have that sort of control over what kind of kids they become friends with, but once your child reaches a certain age (college and onwards) shouldn’t you know that you’ve raised them with good, strong values?

and yes, as crazy as it sounds, it’s possible to be good friends with someone who does something that you don’t do. It’s a huge leap from “my daughter’s friend has a boyfriend” to “my daughter will sleep around one day!” There’s no rationality or sanity in that.

So, yeah, somewhere between 2 and 3. I’d talk to her, but I wouldn’t flip out.