missing gold :[

Lifestyle Relationships
21

How can you say that? Yes I know you are speaking as a realist, I can very well understand that - But there is a need for justice here, she has something of hers stolen. So not doing anything about and simply except it as normal, will only make the real culprit smile (and may even encourage that person to steal from her again). Therefore an example should be made, or at the very least a damn good effort be put into searching for the lost items. Otherwise (by doing nothing) she will in fact be helping the thief. That anyway is my take on it.

22

Re: missing gold :

Hey.. I have been the situation where I have thought someone may have taken something and then found it later on

Asking someone should be the last thing on your list to do and when you do be very very blase... and say Has anyone seen my bangle.. I thought I had left it in my room but it's not there..

23

Re: missing gold :

Thankyou Mr Shahbaz for sharing these videos :flower1:

You seem like forensic expert. The method shown in video requires lot of care and training. Because reading and analyzing finger prints is itself a very difficult.

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Re: missing gold :

theres no harm in just sayin 'has anyone seen my gold, i dont know where iv left it'

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You’re welcome! :slight_smile: However I am no forensic expert. And the skills required to do this also are not complex in any way - Heck, I used to put the fear of God in my servants with these methods (during my childhood).

So if I could do it at 12 using dark blue colored powder Robin Neel and white talcum powder, along with some Scotch tape - Then I am sure anyone can! :slight_smile:

26

i did ask, of course she said no i havent whether anyone has or hasnt, thats the obvious answer,the reason i suspect her is because she has a history, and lately we see new things like clothes ( new shoes) and a fone, although the fone doesnt look new she couldve bought it from someone, shoes dont cost alot, however im sure whatever she got for the gold ( if iits her) went towards it, when we ask her, where she got the shoes, she says oh they;re old, imlying, she bought them ages ago, and is just wearing now. she is on the fone all the time, and insists she tops up with her pocket money, yet has money for a new bag and shoes and god knows what else....thats why i suspect her.

i went to italy last year and bought some makeup, which CAN ONLY BE FOUND IN ITALY, not hbere in the uk, and she came over to my house once with family and took it. the next day i couldnt find it, and JUST KNEW it was her, i came to mums on the weekend, and surprise surprise it ws there on her dressing table, she being thick, said i bought it myseflshe assumed i bought it from her, i then told her u cannot get it here, its only sold there,,,,that caught her out and she went quiet, however this effect only lasts few days, then shes back to normal because we go back to normal with her and so it continbues, i dont know if she does this alot, but she does do it. sometimes like my mums perfukme bottle will finish, and she will say yeh was me, but many times she denies.

im close to hating her. i dont care if shes only 19 and looks 15....she also has a maturity of a 15 yr old, and looks it, and so gets away with things. dont know if she will ever grow up, but i do hate her right now, wheter she took the gold or not, she has the history of taking and denying, so i hate her right now.

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Re: missing gold :

i have been crying all day, just because i think its her, and i know its gone, dont know if the hormones too, i should worry for my birth, which is in 3 weeks, im due then, however i cant stop crying at the drop of a hat now, and cant seem to get over it, i feel for my mother whose worried for me too, mum should be, shes the one who bought the gold for me, just cant seem to deal with it...sounds silly, but its alot.

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Re: missing gold :

^You're still not sure if she took them. But why is your sister stealing things? Maybe you need to sit down and calmly talk to her.

Can she get a job...so that she'll earn money....and can buy the things she wants and have some pride in knowing she earned it. Surely, she can't feel good about swiping other peoples' things...even if it is her own family.

29

It could be worse. What if your husband/in-laws had bought you the bangles....and questioned where they were? Then what? (Don't tell your husband about it...it's a matter that's between you and your immediate family).

Your mother is more worried for YOU than the gold that her younger daughter may or may not have taken. So, your mom has your priorities right. I understand that gold isn't cheap.....but you may receive it as a gift again in the near future. Chock it up to a learning experience...............if you know what your sister is like, then don't store your jewelry in a place that is accessible to her.

30

^Try to calm down dear. I know it's hard...the items you're missing had sentimental value and so you should be upset.

But if you say something to her or make an accusation, it will make things worse. If she's sold it already, then there's no getting it back. Unless you or someone else witnessed her do it, saying something at this point will only result in more drama and give you stress that you do not need right now.

Like RV said, be careful with your things from now on. Keep your valuables out of sight and locked away.

And as for your sister, it doesn't appear that any amount of talking is going to make a difference. You say that she's allowed to "get away" with things. That won't last forever. At some point, she's going to get caught and the results won't be pretty. But maybe that's what she needs. To be "scared straight."

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:k:

You need to find out why she is stealing…that is the problem.

As RV said, can she get a job? Does she not get enough pocket money?

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Re: missing gold :

she gets enough, more than enough, and dad always gives more. from mum too. she also has free travel to college, so its only money for food and her expenses, and shes get alot, it has nothing to do with what she gets. she could also get an extra 30pounds a week from the government if she went to college on time and eery day-she doesnt, she alwyas late or doesnt even bother going. im sick of her.

33

She "gets" more than enough. So, the money is basically handed over to her then, right? It's not like she earned it. Maybe that's part of the problem. If your parents and you just "give" her everything..........she may even think that she's entitled to taking anything she wants.

Has your sister only been stealing from you? Do the two of you get along? Is it possible that she feels insecure/jealous of you....or has some hostility toward you? Kleptomania? Keep in mind that you're still not 100% sure that your sister took the bangles.........but prior to losing the jewelry.........if your sister's behavior had been frustrating you......then maybe you and your parents need to sit down and talk to her.

Maybe either stop giving her an allowance or reduce it (your parents will have to be firm and if they're not....therein lies the root of the problem)......and tell her to get a job. Maybe when she sees that your parents won't give her any money to buy the things she wants....it'll drive her mad enough to get a job.

Also, be sensible. If your sister has a bad habit of just taking things without permission and lying about it.....then don't leave your things out there for her to steal (jewelry, money, credit/debit cards, cell phone, etc). This goes for your parents as well. If she's got an issue, making it easy for her to steal...and giving her whatever she wants whenever she wants it........is not going to help.

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Re: missing gold :

crying for attention?

35

I seriously doubt if that will work. Because what Sara is describing, sounds a lot like Kleptomania (which is basically an addiction to stealing). I too have come across such people a few times in my life, so I think I can recognize the signs.

You of course are thinking logically, which is very good. As logic dictates that if she could get a job and earn her own money, and then buy things from it - Then she will learn the true value of money (and so probably become more mature too).

But here’s the problem, Kleptomania is a mental problem. So dealing with any form of madness with logic, hardly ever gets you any results… See link below to learn more.

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Re: missing gold :

^I mentioned Kleptomania as a possibility in my previous post. Whatever the issue is...it seems to be going on for quite a while. Sara and her parents need to sit down and discuss how best to approach this issue with the younger sister.

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No, I suspect that the sister is too far gone now, way beyond the point of trying to talk and resolve the issue. She seems to have really adopted this habit, and by what Sara is describing, It seems that the sister is happy being this way.

Therefore only thing that I can be 100% sure of, is that if she has done it - Then this was probably the biggest heist of her life. I mean, this time she stole gold! So I can bet you people anything, that she right now will secretly be on such a high, that her arrogance will compel her to steal again.

So first do what I have already suggested, about using secret VU dyes on some semi valuable items. Just set a trap for her, and also start using some spy cameras too. Once you have caught her red-handed, only then will you find peace!

And also see this page about hidden cameras:
http://www.amazing1.com/camera2.htm

38

But only if they have solid proof, otherwise, I am sure the sister will simply shrug it off...

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Whether or not she has Kleptomania.............the OP seems to be having this problem with her sister for quite some time. There seems to be a lack responsibility. Whatever the cause is (could even be resentment toward her older sister/parents)....they need to talk about it.

40

Re: missing gold :

Shahbaz, the videos were neat. Spy camera sounds interesting. Bait her with a valuable carelessly left out...and then catch her red handed. And if they tape her doing this several times.....and then show it to her....it'll emphasize the idea that she has a "pattern" of indulging in such behavior.