Re: Miserbale, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
Have you ever met the guy or it's just a msn chat fling?
Re: Miserbale, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
bloke's a git
in the dustbin he should go.
dont waste your time on him
Re: Miserbale, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
Have you ever met the guy or it's just a msn chat fling?
I see him pretty much every day at uni.
'
Re: Miserbale, Confused and Just Can’t Take It..Help please..
Ria, Allah says He is listening to our prayers, but we need to also follow the Right Path.
Ria, sister, when you are living a life of sin, sister - you are having an affair with this guy - how do you expect to feel peace in your heart?
step away from this life of sin and you shall have peace Insha Allah.
there is no concept of “love” and a guy/girl relationship before marriage in Islam.
do not take offence please. i am only being truthful. may Allah be with you
Re: Miserbale, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
Well said Aunty Number1.. a fling is after all just a fling "a one night stand". It's a miserable relationship, so get out of it.
Re: Miserbale, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
Anyone who makes you feel horrible isnt worth having in your life.
Anyone who brings out the worst in you isnt worth having in your life.
Be with positive people who encourage positivity :) - it's not selfish. If you are physically well and can contribute to the society, this messed up world needs you. So contribute to your society and choose people who will help you do so. InshAllah, when you will give, in return, you will get tons of happiness.
Re: Miserbale, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
And all this bS about being in love - i could never get myself to understand how people can hurt each other in love. Love is really ab forgiving, making up as soon as possible, and just being happy and making sure your partner is happy as well.
Re: Miserbale, Confused and Just Can’t Take It..Help please..
Please do urself a favour…dump him!!!Im 200% sure he wont talk to his parents EVER about you and will have an excuse laterz…ammi nahi mani!!!
Before he dumps you…leave him!
He doessnot seem to be in love with you…because when you care about someone you cannot see them in pain…he is with you because he feels he can control you…but im sure he wont continue a long term relationship with you…please have some self respect and stop pleading him when he doesnt even give a damn about you and plzzzzzzzzzzz come back to ur senses…ur life is Allah ki dain to u…u have no right to finish it up for such a loser guy…it will be u who would be answerable to Allah about these so called ur suicide attempts not ur BF…Thank Allah for what u have and stop pitying urself!!!
Re: Miserbale, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..Y
Thankyou all for your responses.
I guess what hurts more is that within two weeks of meeting him I told my mom about him because I believe that's the right way to do it and he's telling me he can't even MENTION me for minimum 1.5years??
I suppose if he can't man up now he'll NEVER be able to man up.
I always thought maybe the saving msn conversations stuff he did so that we could fix things but now I realize that each time he's done it he's always skipped over stuff he's said and just focused on MY responses. If I ever told him that he said such and such he'd say I provoked him and it's all my fault. I was shocked last week when he brought two conversations from MAY this year to show me- once again to highlight my horrible-ness.
In addition to this, the stuff about the previous guy- I NEVER concealed it from him. The first time we ever talked I told him coz I thought if he wants to back of coz of this he can do it EARLY. When I mention this to him now he says to me that it didn't hurt him then because we weren't close but now we are closer and it therefore angers him but he's sure once we are married hel get over it.
For those of you who said that I am involved in a relationship which Islam forbids- you are right and I'm sure that's why this is all occurring.
He does not pray or fast and before me wasn't too fussed about eating halal only. I, on the other hand, am a food Nazi when it comes to observing halal food and am very strict. Prior to him I was also a 5 times a day namaazi but..now I feel as though...no matter what things are just going to continue to go bad for me:(
I guess all I can do is get rid of him and see what the future holds.
Thankyou all.
Re: Miserbale, Confused and Just Can’t Take It..Help please..
You said you were a namazi. Please continue to pray. May Allah SWT ease your sufferring AAMEEN
… and please sister, do not lose hope in Allah SWT’s Mercy. That is kufar. Please try not to think depressing thoughts. Your aim is to please ALLAH, not this guy. Keep reminiding yourself this … :–) Every time you do an action or speak.. think.. am i going to please Allah with this?..
May you see peace very soon Inshallah
Re: Miserbale, Confused and Just Can’t Take It..Help please..
Exactly!
Agree with everything Reha has said.. this guy needs to be dumped! He sounds like a right loser and I think you deserve to be treated WAY better. 
Re: Miserbale, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
Ria- I think your guy is lying about his past.
True Story:
My aunt had a fiance. They had been together almost 3 yrs (not yet married). His family loved her etc. All seemed well. Then all of a sudden, he started getting really suspicious of my aunt. He kept saying that he didn't trust her, that she cheated etc. He turned in to a real a**hole. it was out of the blue and my aunt had no idea what to think. She knew she had been faithful to him. Then, a little while later, my aunt found out that her fiance had been cheating on her in fact!!! She was a psychology student at the time so studied the phenomenom a bit and apparently it is common. It was his guilty conscious freaking out. Remember: it is the most dishonest people who are the most suspicious of others (on the contrary, it is the most honest people who are the most trusting of others).
I feel very strongly that your guy has a colorful past and that he is playing the same game that my aunt's ex tried to play. I'm not saying he is cheating but I am saying that he probably dated maybe even slept with other girls. He is just playing the suspicion game with you, thinking you're lying since he is probably lying himself.
I'm not sure where you live but another little tidbit of info I got from my fiance is about Pakistani boys in Canada. It seems they're either really moral, chaste and good OR they sleep around with lots of non-Pakistani girls until they're ready to get married. Then they let their parents find some unsuspecting virginal girl to be their bride and they expect their bride to be a virgin. When my fiance questioned one guy on the topic he said "what man, I don't shi*t in my own backyard"... I hate that guy and he will not be invited to our wedding!! hahaha I feel so bad for his new bride... he's slept with so many people :( grrrr guys.
If your guy continues to disregard your feelings, you probably would be miserable as his wife... I'm sorry to say. :( I think he is control freak, he saw that you were vulnerable and preyed on you. I'm glad you told us about your attempted suicides. That is a huge deal. You need to be away from this guy. He is going to stamp out the last flame of self-esteem that you have until you are merely a shell of of your previous self. A future husband should build you up, make you feel like you can take on the world and and do anything, not make you feel worthless and guilty for doing something completely halal!!
Leave him and FORCE yourself to never ever come in contact with him again.
Re: Miserable, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
Ria- Review the below passage and compare contrast to your relationship.
**Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
**- The Bible : 1 Corinthians 13:4
(I realise this is a Biblical quote and you're probably all Muslim but this is one of the gems of the Bible... it is perfect).
Re: Miserable, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
so this is how an educated woman ruin herself behind a trash?
honestly...ignore the sicko and move on.
ps. namaz is FARZ like breathing...i dont know why ppl compare farz with their lame love life.
Re: Miserable, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
Saving the msn chat to show it later?
He is a sadist.
But ria, you seem to have lost your self esteem.
You said who will marry you. So you think it is bettter to marry this person?
Re: Miserable, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
The only way you are punishing yourself is by STAYING WITH HIM!..dump him, pick yourself up, and show him you can live without him. I think hes got this mind game at the tip of his fingers bc he realizes the fact that you think no one else will marry you or come for you, so hes abusing that for whatever reason. What a disgusting prick!
Re: Miserable, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
^Your signature: It is ..la saif illa Zulfiqar.
Re: Miserable, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
^Your signature: It is ..la saif illa Zulfiqar.
it sure is..good eye :)
Re: Miserable, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
Ria ...the guy is verbally & emotionally abusive and the behaviour & attitude he has clearly shows that he is a narcissist. Was he severely abused during child hood or was he extremely pampered as a child ? if yes , then most probably he has narcissistic personality disorder. The things you are facing right now with him are unimaginable ....do you ever think that if you get married to him how badly he will treat you then ? people don't change overnight and most likely he will become more abusive towards you after marriage even physically abusive . So this is your plan for your life ? this is how you for-see your life ..............to be abused everyday by a man who does not love you and does not give a damn about you !
Leave him , dump him .....you will be better off I promise. You will get the guy who is destined for you by Allah , don't let yourself be abused in the hands of a looser like that. Give importance to yourself , love your self & respect yourself and tell yourself that you do not deserve such treatment. You think you will not get another man ? it's better to be single than to be in a unhappy & abusive relationship. Wasay I firmly believe that Allah talah kisi ko tanha nahi rakhta and you will get atleast one relationship in life that will give you alot of happiness and that relationship can be in the form of anybody. Please stop looking down upon yourself and leave this man.
Re: Miserbale, Confused and Just Can't Take It..Help please..
Yeah, I'm sorry, he sounds really immature, he can't tell your parents about you? What kind of joke is that? Aa jaatay haiN pyaar karnay lekin phir maa baap ke saamnay phat jaati hai. I'm so sick of these desi mama's boys who go out and start a 'relationship' with someone but refuse to tell their parents. Too often these stories end with heartbreak when the guy married someone else because ammi ji and abbu ji wanted him to and the poor girl is left holding her dreams in her hands.
Move on, he's a child.
buddy then girls should be smart enough to NOT date a guy who isn't telling his parents. Girls shouldn't be dating to begin with unless parents are involved.