What is/should be the minimum age for marriage? On one hand, when you read stories like the one in the article, you’re appalled that such a young girl could be forced into marriage against her will. But on the other hand, thinking back to my grandmother and great-grandmother, they married younger than this and technically in Islam a girl can be married when she is baaligh. So what should be the minimum age or is it other factors that matter when it comes to marriage?
This is complicated/confusing. Out there in the “West” kids as young as 12 (I’m exaggerating of course) are busy fornicating. Muslims don’t have that option (fornication). So early marriage makes sense. But then there’s all the responsibility that comes with marriage, and a person needs to have some maturity for that. Complicated
Back in the day our ancestors did get married in their early teens, and even now you can still see girls getting married at the age of 16/17 in some places. But for the most part things have changed. Back then it was almost the norm, so people did not know any different. As the world has evolved, things have changed. There are still places where kids get married at an early age, but on the whole it has changed. Responsibilities have changed as well. On the whole though, desis still get married early than their western counterparts, but the age may have increased from early teens to late teens early 20’s now.
once they have read thru a few threads in life1 about people’s married lives. weigh the need for marriage vs. taking care of horniness etc. i would say ideally when both parties have spent at least a couple of years living as self-sufficient adults who understand what their needs and wants are, or at least know what they don’t want. but then again, some people never know. :\
So I found the article on CNN - apparently the groom’s age is cited as 70 years old here. Not that it’s any better - he’s still old enough to be her great-grandfather.
Before the magical age of 18, a person hasn’t met the legal age of consent. Hugh makes sure they’re 18 + 1 day old at least.
My issue is consent versus compulsion. Unfortunately in our culture, a girl’s consent isn’t always sought and with arranged marriages, appropriate matches aren’t always made.
And from what I’ve heard, David old boy is on his fourth marriage
:k: I don’t know anyone whose values/morals/wants/needs in life remain the same at 25 (once they’re completed undergrad and worked for a few years) compared to when they were 16/17/18 etc. And for girls, there are too many women out there stuck in abusive marriage b/c they don’t have the means to support themselves financially.
^ Yep. Often young girls get engaged/married due to pressure from their families. And often, those families don’t consider their bride/groom’s personality and whether or not they will actually make good life partners for one another. They’re more concerned about pleasing the community and other family members (phuppus, khalas etc. who want their son/daughter hitched).
My point was that an 18 year old is not that much more self aware than someone who’s 15 or 16. 18 is just an arbitrary line in the sand. I agree with your point about consent though, the bimbo marrying Hef has a choice at least.
My own personal standard for minimum age of marriage is 25 because by then most people have obtained a primary degree as well as kickstarted their careers. But generally speaking, I’d go with 18, when you’re officially an adult. Two of my distant teen cousins got married last year, both are sisters. Their parents actually wanted to wait but the girls insisted on getting married lol. They were obsessed with shaadi and nothing else, not even education. Everyone in the family was quite shocked at their wedding announcement. The younger one (now 17) also has a baby now. I know technically there’s nothing wrong with that, they’re happy n all but there have been some minor complications in both their marriages already. What do you expect, I’m not surprised, you’re just not mature enough at that age.
That’s actually how I look at it. 18 is an arbitrary number. You have some 16 year olds who are more mature than 25 year olds.
I know that times past were different, and that most people did get married younger. But when I hear the haww-hayee over young marriages, I think about my nani who got married at 14 and had a child at 15. Mind you the upside to her marriage was my nana was 19 - so no huge age difference between them. According to current cultural standards, her marriage was wrong and should never have happened. Yet, religiously both then and now, it was or is permissible - so it’s the changing culture versus static religion issue - what’s right?
No, her marriage wasn’t wrong. It was the norm back then to get married at a very early age and marriage/motherhood is probably all that young girls were trained for. Current cultural standards only apply to the present times. Back then, there must have been haw haye over someone being single at 30 but today it’s quite the opposite. And it’s all just personal preference, there’s no right and wrong with regards to the cultural standards. The Islamic ruling is all that really matters.
Exactly. Our perceptions change. Adolescence is something created out of modern education and men and women today are very immature compared to even a few decades ago.
Permissable isn’t the same as preferred even tho many ppl seem to think they’re the same..
‘Technically’ in Islam you can dump your hubby if he gets fat and you no longer find him attractive..
In the old days life was simple, now there are all sorts of complications..
If a woman isn’t studying or working or doesn’t have the freedom to travel it#s understandable she might want to marry young but obviously it should be **her **decision..
Women especially in the old days didn’t have much of a life outside the family.. I see my older aunties and tend to find them quite naive rather than mature.. Most are not street-smart at all..
For women its my understanding before a certain age their body structure not fully developed for child bearing. That would be min age ( for both). I recall that number being 18?
