^ true say Muzna... but I think people tend to use the term mind games for behavior that doesn't have a positive intention or intended outcome, but if the term itself is neutral, than may be we should talk about detrimental or wasteful mind games??
Yup!
Mind games = When a woman doesn't tell you why she is upset but acts moody and gives you the cold shoulder :D
But men do the same thing. So do kids, actually. Makes me think, it's not entirely mind games because when these things are done when a person is emotionally charged, they arent really thinking with their mind.
But men do the same thing. So do kids, actually. Makes me think, it's not entirely mind games because when these things are done when a person is emotionally charged, they arent really thinking with their mind.
yes! that is exactly what I have been trying to get to......many people don't consciously think about what they are doing.....it's a reaction or a conditioning that they have already had ingrained.....
if you want this....you can do this and get it....
Re: Mind Games
^agreed. What conditions people to these though? Media? family dynamics (I've noticed they tend to exist a lot among people who have grown up in large extended families)? or are we just genetically predisposed to such behaviour (someone mentioned 'survival' earlier)?
Re: Mind Games
we need an expert on this subject.
Re: Mind Games
jee fermaeen
we need an expert on this subject.
Call up one of the indian dramas script writers..lol.
Mind games = When a woman doesn't tell you why she is upset but acts moody and gives you the cold shoulder :D
Hah!! If you think THOSE are mind games then you have a LOT OF of learning & growing-up to do.
So everybody has a different definition of the term "mind games".
The primary difference that I am seeing here is that some consider it to be an "underhanded" way to accomplish a goal and others see it as a tool.
What makes it underhanded?
It could be both. For example, a parent might use manipulation or mind games as a tool to encourage their child to eat veggies. Hard to explain, but sometimes parents might even use mimicking of negative behavior to teach children about wrong or right. One might say that such a strategy is a mind game.
I guess it would depend on what the manipulation is used for. Is it used for a positive outcome..........is it used to try and save someone from danger they're too stubborn to see? Is it done with good intentions? In such a situation, people are more inclined to see the mind game as a tool.
However, if one's intention to play mind games is to cause fitna/trouble between people.............to further their own gains at the potential detriment of another person...............then it's more likely to be considered as underhanded.
Re: Mind Games
Based on what assumption are we limiting mind games to a conscious act? So what if it is an unconcious act? It does not change the out come of the game being played.
I take the definition from the view point of the effect and not the intention. If the effect is to confuse the other person or place the other person is a stressful situation where they do not know what they did wrong or why they are being treated as such they are infact being played.
As always I see the gender disparity playing a major role in the definition being used.
Also RV, parents and children have a symbiotic relationship of mutual benefit. They don't indulge in mind games as one is the obvious dominant member - the parent - and the child is the submissive. Simply put its not two equals playing games with each other.
Mind games are usually used to describe gender relations between adults or men and women of adequate age to be involved in such relationships.
Also RV, parents and children have a symbiotic relationship of mutual benefit.** They don't indulge in mind games as one is the obvious dominant member - the parent - and the child is the submissive. Simply put its **not two equals playing games with each other.
Mind games are usually used to describe gender relations between adults or men and women of adequate age to be involved in such relationships.
I beg to differ, CM. Parents don't indulge in mind games? At all? And this is purely based upon the dynamics of their relationship (one party being more dominant over the other)?????
WOW, so all that rona dhona......you better marry where I tell you........gasp gasp, I think I'm having a heart-attack.......look at your ammi/abu's health......see what you are causing........log thoo thoo karay gain............here deal with my cold shoulder...........if you don't do as I say, I will kick you out of this house............ tum mere liye mar chukay ho.........bla bla bla bla!..................is not a way to make the submissive party do what the dominant party wants?
Of course, kids have ways of manipulating their parents as well. It starts at a young age. I've seen little ones think they scream at the top of their lungs in a public place to get what they want.................especially if they know that Mommy or Daddy are the type to surrender pretty quickly. Or they'll put out their puppy face. Or.........if they are teenagers...........they will be clever enough to use their words in a certain way to tip the power scales.
CM, it's a subjective topic that depends a lot upon one's definition of "mind games." I see a "mind game" as a form of manipulation......and it can involve actions, words, and even body language. Something as simple as a cold shoulder can be a mind game aimed to make the person on the receiving end give you what YOU desire...........whether it's attention, approval, or an apology.
I understand that "usually" mind games are played in gender relationships between men and women. "Playing hard to get" is a classic mind game which played by either gender to get the attention of the other.
However, I disagree about the "adequate age" part. I'm a teacher, CM. I've seen kids play mind games.......from as little as 4..........to 16. So what is the "adequate age" at which people being playing mind games? When does it begin? Little kids have minds that absorb information like sponges and even they can see Mommy or Daddy playing mind games with another.
I also disagree with you that mind games are not played in relationships where both parties benefit from one another and where one is obviously dominant over the other. Guess what? I've heard the word "mind games"/ "manipulation" **being used in the work place to describe superiors......and even other coworkers. Even bosses are known to play mind games.......with their employees. It's a relationship where the boss is OBVIOUSLY DOMINANT**. It's also a relationship of UNEQUALS.......that also has "mutual benefits". The boss needs you to do a task to benefit his company..........and you might get some sort of reward for it. Unequal symbiots can play mind games.
A dominant person (boss, parent, friend, spouse) can resort to their own type of mind game just as a person in a more passive role can.
Manipulation is in human nature. It transcends, gender, type of relationship, position in relationship, and even age (in my opinion). Manipulation can be used for good..............and it can be used for a selfish/negative outcome. The difference in a parent/child relationship would be that parents (at least those that are good parents)................will generally have the best interests of the child in the back of their mind...........although sometimes emotional pressure might be used to further those interests. It's a relationship where more nurturing is involved compared to other relationships....but not totally devoid of mind games.
Re: Mind Games
Well I disagree with some parts and agree with some parts. The rona dhona is pure blackmail in my opinion. It is putting pressure to ilicit the response wanted or desired by the individual. Mind games in my personal opinion aim to ilicit confusion and other negative emotions like fear. They are not used to achieve a purpose.
In both cases you present - the child and the parent - the aim to achieve a desired result that the other individual wishes. Yes both parents and children blackmail each other, but kinda in a healthy manner if that even makes sense.
Mind games on the other hand you would agree are not healthy in anyway. I agree it is a form of manipulation and it does involve usually the opposite gender, but there should be a differentiation between pure and simple blackmail to that of mind-games. I agree that mind-games are a sub-set of manipulation and that it is human to manipulate others. However I disagree you can have mind-games between people that are unequal because one has to comply with the other's wishes regardless of the mind-games or other forms of manipulation.
Why must people play mind games ?
cuz they live in a manipulative world, and it gives them a serious shock when someone is brutally straight forward.
I think a lot of things that are being classified as mind games are not truly mind games with a negative effect or negative intention. For instance, when parents do 'rona dhona' over a certain issue, it is not necessarily blackmail or manipulation all the times. Sometimes, they are TRULY disappointed and sad over a certain issue and not intending to manipulate at all. So, if a parent is sad over something and it is being perceived as a 'mind game', then there is definitely something wrong w/ the perception.
When a girl or a guy plays 'hard to get', it may not necessarily have a negative outcome or done with a negative intention. Both parties involved may even be liking the whole thing and find it challenging.
I think if we are going to perceive each and every human emotion as manipulation or mind games, then it would become difficult to trust anyone really.
Re: Mind Games
I take back my original comment. Mind games are a very active part of sports or any form of competition. So I agree with the comment made originally that is it not limited to gender based relations.
Why must people play mind games ?
Because they be Pakistani...???
Why must people play mind games ?
We all do, sometimes without realizing.
Re: Mind Games
CM and RV......great exchange!
This is definitely one of the best threads I have read in Life1.