Re: Mind Games
^lol, I was gonna ask the same thing Muzna :p
Can someone please oblige us :D
can someone please define "mind games"
how about implicit coercive manipulation as a starting definition...
IMO, Insecurity is the predominant cause for someone playing mind games. I think most other reasons can be traced back to this one single cause.
how about implicit coercive manipulation as a starting definition...
IMO, Insecurity is the predominant cause for someone playing mind games. I think most other reasons can be traced back to this one single cause.
Cool....let's start there.
I believe that I used "implicit coercive manipulation" when I asked for the definition. I totally wanted to the thread to lead down this path as I wanted to show that we all do this; in one way or another.
Does it necessarily suggest that I have negative intentions? No.
Does it mean that I am insecure? No.
I think we all tend to manipulate situations and circumstances to accomplish our goals. I am not a psych major but it must have something to do with one of our most basic instincts (i.e. survival).
The real question should be: Why do we set unreasonable goals and then set out to accomplish them............?
No?
Re: Mind Games
^ true say Muzna... but I think people tend to use the term mind games for behavior that doesn't have a positive intention or intended outcome, but if the term itself is neutral, than may be we should talk about detrimental or wasteful mind games??
^ true say Muzna... but I think people tend to use the term mind games for behavior that doesn't have a positive intention or intended outcome, but if the term itself is neutral, than may be we should talk about detrimental or wasteful mind games??
I would like to agree LC but there is too much evidence to suggest that contrary.
Hypothesis:
Husband wants wife to do something.
Wife is not in favor.
Husband attempts to manipulate the situation and accomplish what he believes is a good thing.
Wife sees this effort as a mind game and refuses to play.
Where does the fault lie?
What does this accomplish?
Why not:
A male or female child either giving the parent (male or female or both for that matter) a cold shoulder…or screaming/pouting/creating a scene…so that mommy or daddy will surrender and buy the bag of candy or give back the precious toy.
Tomato Tomaato…potato potaato.
Does the example that you’ve mentioned ALSO show that mind games can be used to manipulate/control a situation or person?
Yes, it does. 
Re: Mind Games
Mind Games can be viewed within two contexts.
***However the general perception is that its a coercion with negative intent. ***
Now that can range from attaining a one-up manship within a relationship to succeeding at work . It is done by adopting a strategic approach to attaining a goal by “foul” means because an “ulterior” motive than what has been presented is involved.
***I figure there are two distinct personality types who use this approach…to a large extent everyone does from time to time however there is ***
Personality A…whose lifetime achievements are reflected by how they “stepped upthe ladder” or dominated a relationship equation by knowing which “buttons” to push and what to say to lull the involved parties into a false sense of security or trust.
Personality B…who is aware that they can take a “step -back” approach to a situation and attain a goal which while may not hurt the other party still does end up making the party feel like they were not dealt with in a forthright or honest manner.
The question arises though whether Party X was indeed the “victim” or just failed to take a less emotional approach to the situation ? 
Re: Mind Games
party X??
shyne there was a partyA and partyB.
Re: Mind Games
ohhhhh
X because A or B can be at that position. hmmm
Shyne you know If you quit chat you could be ruling most of the world?
I like partyB already. That is my type. Requires strong nerves though.
Re: Mind Games
isn't mind games are mostly play by male :p
I want to see that happen.
You need to do more then just regular life. Seriously.
I am a monk I have a third eye. Trust me on that.
isn't mind games are mostly play by male :p
No !
I think its equally played by both.
There are many women who know how to get what they want by using their "viles" . That also incorporates "mind games"
My basic understanding is:
*** Mind games = Unnatural means to acquire an expected Result .***
Oh wow ! …
I think your expecting too much from me , I wudn’t know if I’m capable of such achievements 
Re: Mind Games
Stop chatting and you will see that happening.
Re: Mind Games
Sheyn I agree with you . We can use coercion/Mind games for both positive and negative reasons. Intentionally or unintentionally we do it all the time at work/home/etc . It is our human instinct that we use mind manipulation to acheive our objective . It is also a great quality in a leader to control the minds of his followers . There are lots of great examples where leaders do that and take their nations to a different height .
Unfortunately like any other power we see people using this strength for negative purposes more . Btw controlling mind is not only applicable to others but we can do it to ourselves too . Mostly successful people are really good at it .
I would like to agree LC but there is too much evidence to suggest that contrary.
Hypothesis:
Husband wants wife to do something. Wife is not in favor.
Husband attempts to manipulate the situation and accomplish what he believes is a good thing. Wife sees this effort as a mind game and refuses to play.
Where does the fault lie? What does this accomplish?
Excellent reply. I think if we take 'mind games' as a neutral term, then it is actually a very natural, instinctive reaction/strategy toward many situations and feelings we experience daily. I will not hold it equal to 'manipulation' because unlike manipulation, 'mind games' are not always done with negative intentions or do not always have negative intended outcomes. Sometimes normal reactions or ways to deal with things are classified as mind games. Heck, sometimes 'crying' over a hurtful situation is classified as a mind game :S
Re: Mind Games
Mind games = When a woman doesn't tell you why she is upset but acts moody and gives you the cold shoulder :D
Re: Mind Games
So everybody has a different definition of the term "mind games".
The primary difference that I am seeing here is that some consider it to be an "underhanded" way to accomplish a goal and others see it as a tool.
What makes it underhanded?
mind games in relationships, hate them. I know a few people who always try to out do their partner and vise versa. Whats the point!? I don't understand why you can't just be straight with each other!