MIL troubles :( 4 weeks into marriage

[Paheli00]

Re: MIL troubles 4 weeks into marriage

@somegroovychick

^ i’m sorry you’re in a very difficult position, but i think everyone’s behaviour has made the next steps clear for you. speak to your husband openly and calmly about all of this and tell him how you feel. if he agrees with you re: blaming you and feeling unhappy about leaving his family, then i think you probably need to look at the bigger picture and consider ending your marriage. i really don’t see things improving anytime soon for you given they’re ALL nutbars, not just your MIL, and if your husband is blaming you, well, then, i’m sorry but there isn’t much there that is worth saving either. better to cut ties now and move on with your life, rather than give up more time to this family and their issues, all the while going through immense amounts of stress yourself. it would be one thing if they were amenable to normal, calm, sane conversation but all this yelling and screaming and drama baazi behaviour just doesn’t leave any other course open to you or your family.

^ Tink, I agree with everything above. As painful as it sounds…give how irrational his family is behaving…I really think you need to get out while you can.

Put your emotions aside and think with your brain for a minute. How would you feel if you were in your husband’s position? He’s basically being forced to choose between you and his biological family. There will be a part of your husband that will always blame you for causing all this drama. A part of him will blame you for creating tension/distance between him and his family. Whether he wants to or not…a part of him will always think about how “peaceful” his family was UNTIL you came in the picture. Can you even imagine bringing a child into this situation? Even if you live separately…there will ALWAYS be drama. Aside from daily living…every single birthday, holiday etc…there will be drama. If your in-laws treat your parents like crap like right now…that’s not going to change either. Do you want to spend the rest of you life dealing with drama, and always trying to make sure things don’t blow up? Do you really want these people to be your future children’s dada/dadi?

You really need to have a open, NON emotional discussion with your parents and decide the best course for YOUR future. But keep in mind one thing…your in-laws will not change.