tryn not to open another thread for a while on mil issues but today am again p$$d off to breakn point
so its petty today but its a string of things. like she interferes in everything im doing, insults the way i make roti, then my husband askd me to make him khicri, never made it so askd mil how to make it and i said i wud make it. within minutes she already makn it herself!!! she does this alot. i was going to nake it for his lunch, so had plenty of timeee, she had it made by 10:30. why? she does this all the time then complains i nt dont do this n that.
then wen am packn some stuff away i found 2 plastic bags to put the stuff in. without telln me she just took them hsef. she knew they wrre mine.
i knowww sounds juvenile but am fed up. again. does the above sound silly? am i silly to feel so bothered?
I love ur MIL threads. They make me feel warn and fuzzy inside. :-)
SRSLY tho, no...living with someone u don't get along with is tough and the smallest thing they do (good/bad/weird) can set off feelings of annoyance and pissed-offness. I'd tell u to deal with it rationally, head-on...in the presence of ur husband, politely etc etc...but really, reading ur threadsm...ur MIL seems unrelenting. Just let it roll off ur back. Look forward to moving out, pay more attnetion to the good things she does, spend less time with her so she isn't as annoying lol. I feel for u tho.
She didn't start doing this yesterday. This has been going on forever. Nothing new here.
insults the way i make roti
Does your husband like your Roti? If he does: No issue. If he doesn't: Ask her to teach you how to make proper Roti. That way you will shut her up and give her a bit of an ego boost (which apparently she craves for).
, then my husband askd me to make him khicri, never made it so askd mil how to make it and i said i wud make it. within minutes she already makn it herself!!! she does this alot. i was going to nake it for his lunch, so had plenty of timeee, she had it made by 10:30. why?
Very typical MIL/mum behaviour. Your MIL is no exception there. When she complains that you don't do this n that, you simply point out that she doesn't let you.
then wen am packn some stuff away i found 2 plastic bags to put the stuff in. without telln me she just took them hsef. she knew they wrre mine.
How is this an issue? Are plastic bags such a rarity in your house?
God you are just paranoid. Taking away plastic bags. This needs to be the heights. Poor lady your MIL. She is just trying to be helpful and you are misunderstanding.
Nadz: You’re wasting time and energy getting upset over small stuff like this. You have 3 months to go until your UK move. Right now ALL your time/energy should be spend on your 2 kids, and also making sure you’re prepared for your move to the UK (do research on visas, jobs etc. etc. etc).
BTW, you have a history of sharing extra details about these incidents once there are quite a few replies posted to the original message. Is there ANYTHING else about these incidents that you have forgotten to share with us?
Asking about how to make a perfect paratha, CB wrote a brilliant answer, you did not even acknowledge it, did you even bother making it as people advised.
Maybe your MIL feels that even if she teaches you how to make kichiri, you will still be asking, so better to make it and get it out of the way. An approach that I would also have taken if my advice is not taken serously
im not paranoid. she DOES do these things that bug me. im not imagining her doing it
also i know she does things before i do them just so she can complain about her doing all the work latter. seriously, its like if i say to her im making gosht in the evening, shel quickly make something else/or the same thing wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy before its dinner time. why?
issue is i asked her HOW to make it, so that i can LEARN how to make it. by her JUST MAKING IT while im not there obviously shows she doesnt wan me to learn at all. but rather so she can say to her son `see your mother made it for u not ur wife who knows nothing1....
ufff, platic bags- in the uk at home plasic bags were common household items. here, we dn use much in our house. and we dnt have the big ones, if we do its few and far between,. i dug up some stuff and found 2 big plasic bags i needed. i left them on the table for like 5 seconds, she took it
and replaced with the standard small ones which i dont need. i needed the bigg ones for a reason. hence-pi$$d off.
Have you ever specifically said to her "I'd like to watch you make it so that I can learn how to do it myself next time"? or when you notice her cooking at 10:30 am do you go join her and pitch in?
Nadz, I feel where you're coming from. Have seen 101 crappy situations like this myself, and believe me it's not gonna stop anytime soon. So you're leaving for UK soon, right? Concentrate on that, find a hobby, and remember you have your entire life ahead of you, but THIS IS your MIL's life. So let it be.
To be honest I will be glad she made the khichri or rest of the food for that matter... I will give give her a hugg and request her to be this way for rest of her life and continue making food for us :D
by the way you can always google. No need asking MIL.
and here is the recipe.
soak half cup yellow daal, 1 cup rice seperately. In a pan add little add onions, when they are golden brown add daal, salt, blk ilichi, cinnamon stick, clove, garlic paste, 3 cups of water and let it cook, when the daal is tender, add rice. when rice are ready, enjoy khichri with achar or raita....
there you go....
my point is if MIL is not helping and you need help. find other resources. Instead of telling her when you will make ghost, just make it at the time you have planned. If she has already cooked something, let it be, you cook your ghost.
